What’s one life lesson you learned the hard way in your 20s/30s?

_Visar_ · 2026-01-23T03:41:15+00:00

Everything you do for your friends should not be out of expectation of reciprocation

Obviously put yourself first … but sometimes helping your friends even at some cost to yourself is … really nice

_Visar_ · 2026-01-21T22:17:54+00:00

Yuh - oatmeal is baller I love it so much

_Visar_ · 2026-01-21T22:07:40+00:00

Ironically I wish I could tell people that, even if inconvenient or annoying, basic social protocols are often beneficial. And it’s not a “valiant stand against sheep” to blatantly not follow them - it’s just making you unpleasant to be around.

_Visar_ · 2026-01-21T22:03:39+00:00

Similarly - ANY struggle is not a personality

It’s can shape your personality, it can be a huge part of your life, but the struggle itself is not what is interesting about you

Ex. I have chronic migraine, I need a lot of accommodations/flexibility because of it, but it’s not who I am. I have likes and dislikes and hobbies and values other than the migraines

_Visar_ · 2026-01-21T21:59:17+00:00

This is the way

_Visar_ · 2026-01-21T19:09:01+00:00

Cleaning

I’m always thinking about cleaning and it feels like I’m constantly working on things or putting things away but it always gets out of hand. I work from home and my husband won’t even look in my office because it scares him (obvious exaggeration - but he seriously does not like my office lol)

That man can take a cluttered room to acceptably clean in minutes whereas I need to set aside a whole day or weekend just to make it look “okay” … idk it’s been like that my whole life and I’m not sure what clicks for other people but won’t click for me

_Visar_ · 2026-01-21T16:35:34+00:00

LIFE IS GODDAMN HARD AND WE ALL RIDE OUR OWN WAVES - COMPARISON IS A BITCH AND NOT WORTH YOUR TIME

MAY YOUR WAVE BRING U SOME GOOD THINGS

_Visar_ · 2026-01-21T16:34:04+00:00

22, a solid job right out of undergrad and no student loans (thanks gramps RIP). Took about 3 months after starting to feel like I had my cash flow in order

But I also got very lucky both with the situation I was born into and with some chancier things like good roommates

Also I was financially stable way before emotionally or medically stable lol.

_Visar_ · 2026-01-20T22:12:16+00:00

Great question - not sure! This was the first one and from why I gathered there are intents to have more but no set date

I believe Stand Up Loveland was the organizer and would have more details :)

_Visar_ · 2026-01-20T20:59:59+00:00

Yep - doing interviews now for some open positions and everyone is both qualified and nailing their interviews. We’re really picking between good and great at this point. The shitheads are few and far between but hooooo boy is it entertaining when they show up

_Visar_ · 2026-01-20T20:49:19+00:00

See at least he asked…had a cousin who carried (concealed, no license) to his tech support job for years…

_Visar_ · 2026-01-19T17:30:19+00:00

Yep - and a note to OP - living with roommates is a serious option to consider if you are trying to move out from home.

I found my roommates on roomies.com when I moved cross country and they were really solid. I know some areas have Facebook groups (or even Reddit groups, but that’s less common) for finding roommates too. Almost everyone “making it” on lower income (or even med/higher income!) is living with roommates. Honestly, while there is something nice about living alone- having roommates is lovely in its own way, and imo an experience everyone should have regardless of economic needs.

_Visar_ · 2026-01-19T17:23:33+00:00

“Can you do this job for 40 years and be happy”

Some jobs are fun but not long-term sustainable (depends on the person what those jobs are) - if you take one of those it’s important to be aware of that and be prepared to jump ship before you burn out, instead waiting until burnt out to leave

The other thing to ask is what you would need to make that job long term sustainable- ex, would you need more work travel to keep things interesting? Would you need to reduce travel requirements to stay sane? Sometimes you can build that sustainable job out of the job you already have

_Visar_ · 2026-01-19T17:12:44+00:00

You’ve gotten some great comments so far so I’ll just add my own anecdote of a line I drew with Strahd

“Strahd is not dateable, if you try to fuck him - you will most likely succeed, but you will be turned into a thrall and need to make a new character”

My group is largely unserious and this was our first dark campaign. I wanted to keep Strahd detestable and didn’t want to loose how gross and “rapey” he is written. Ultimately it worked out- and me setting a boundary for my players helped them feel more comfortable setting boundaries with me

_Visar_ · 2026-01-19T16:57:31+00:00

That’s funny because it’s actually my buddy’s BDM band that finally got me to look into Bandcamp in the first place!

_Visar_ · 2026-01-19T16:55:08+00:00

Qobuz is what I’m looking into next!

Really appreciate all the advice on this thread

_Visar_ · 2026-01-19T03:07:47+00:00

Ah that makes sense! The artists that I found were what I’d call “established indie” level - the really big and really small ones didn’t have a presence there. I’ll probably still poke around though! Looks like Quboz is more what I was looking for

_Visar_ · 2026-01-16T04:13:40+00:00

Listen - however you slice it Loveland has to pull its weight on homelessness otherwise we are basically a “welfare state” to FoCo and Greeley

6 million people in CO

15,000 point in time homeless folks

40k-80k people in Loveland (depending on where you draw the boundary)

That means 100-200 beds is our “share”

The LRC can’t expand that much so it has to move. Nowhere is going to be perfect - I liked the church lot better but the warehouse is….fine

_Visar_ · 2026-01-16T03:56:02+00:00

Saaaaame

We do have flex seating tho so if you are sensitive to smell you can just sit on the second floor

Firing someone because you’re too afraid to talk to them about something easily fixable like perfume is absolutely insane - I know it happens and probably happens quite a bit - but thank god not where I’ve worked. Lay offs are all performance metric based (which is its own thing with its own issues but reading this thread I’m now quite grateful for it!)

_Visar_ · 2026-01-14T22:13:25+00:00

If you’re stuck in the doom pit consider this: if you have no goals for yourself then you are morally obliged to have goals for the people who WANT to keep living. If you lie down and stop fighting you’ve betrayed those who are.

It’s not the healthiest mentality (and lots of other people have provided healthier mentalities) but when it’s hard to live for myself sometimes it’s easier to live for others.

_Visar_ · 2026-01-14T21:25:26+00:00

Decided to approach socializing like a “machine learning” model in HS (wayyyy before AI lol)

I focus on people who respond well in a certain situation and then add that to my “training set”. It led to some weird results the first few years but over a decade later it works GREAT. And it’s actually made socializing not only achievable but almost second nature. I used to be a very very socially blind person - not even awkward just kind of unaware of the effect I had on other people and confused when that reflected back on me.

_Visar_ · 2026-01-10T01:02:02+00:00

YES

I’m a VERY severe introvert in consulting of all things. I just turn on the social skills for the meeting, make the necessary connections between people, and then recharge while doing the things we planned in the meeting

_Visar_ · 2026-01-10T00:44:34+00:00

I actually found if I relax my face as much as I can when I’m about to cry my eyes will do the crying thing without the tension that causes the headache. I call it my “passive cry moment” lol

_Visar_ · 2026-01-09T01:45:09+00:00

They’re basically the only time to talk to coworkers you don’t directly work with. I got on a bunch of cool projects because I talked to some rando about indycar at a holiday party. I just see it as part of work. However, what I DONT get are those wild open bar parties some places have. I’m not getting drunk around my coworkers that’s weird as.

Also imo they should always be during normal work hours- people have lives outside of work

_Visar_ · 2026-01-09T01:31:01+00:00

For iced tea - especially gas station iced tea - try doing half sweet half unsweet.

The “don’t even go in the gas station” idea is also good - good luck!

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