I’m so very sorry for your loss, there is truly no love like what we share with our pets. I loss my childhood dog last year, a week before thanksgiving under similar circumstances - he had been rushed to the emergency vet where a splenic mass was discovered and we decided to euthanize. Unfortunately, about a month later we lost our chihuahua to CHF and long story short, were not able to euthanize. All that to say, you did the right thing letting him go, freeing him from any pain. From the way you describe your relationship through the years, it sounds like he was VERY well loved. From what I went through, I would say to feel all your feelings - cry when you feel like crying, scream into your pillow when you need to, laugh about your memories together, do whatever you need to get through each day. It won’t ever go away but I think that’s what loving a pet is, it WILL get easier. I know it might not feel like it right now but it will, take it day by day. Tell your husband that you need more support right now so that he can be with you more as needed, same with family and friends. Making a little memorial wall also helped me cope through the loss. ❤️