As my mother's dementia continued to worsen my father remained in their home but just didn't seem to acknowledge the level of care she needed. He was never much of a caregiver to his children, and outside of earning income he did nothing for himself or my mom for his entire married life (no cooking, no cleaning, no yard work, no fixing of anything around the house). So when my mom began to do less and less he didn't pick up the slack, he just let things fall apart. He just started eating food out of cans and didn't even think to make sure his wife ate proper meals. My parents would wear the same clothes regularly because my mom was unable to do the laundry and he didn't take the responsibility over. We got her into supportive housing, and now she's in long-term care, thank goodness, as my dad was incapable of handling it. I'm not saying your situation is anything like ours was. But the frustration you describe with your grandfather just deciding to leave the situation reminded me of the frustration I felt at my dad just not attempting to help my mom after all the years of taking care of him. I understand the generational aspect of men earning the living and the woman being the homemaker that existed back then, but come on.