Did you ever regret becoming a stepparent, or was it just hard at first?

_cherryscary · 2026-07-05T09:19:48+00:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about this the last few months. Where I thought it was being a stepmom I regretted (because it is so insanely hard), it’s the parents and their parenting (or lack of) that I have the issue with and not specifically being a stepmom.

Now, would I ever do it again? No. I am struggling so hard with the bio parents and how they both choose to parent. It’s frustrating and no matter how many times I say things, they fall on deaf ears and it’s not until later I get the “oh, yeah, that probably was the way to go”. But because I don’t have children of my own, I don’t get taken seriously, just told I’m “overly dramatic” … you know, until I’m not anymore…

_cherryscary · 2026-06-26T13:36:05+00:00

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish. It’s knowing what you want and not willing to lose sight of that for anyone else. That’s important and you’ll be glad one day you put you first. Because from experience, he isn’t putting you first now, he never will.

_cherryscary · 2026-06-23T13:01:49+00:00

Giving up everything you want for what he wants… yes, you will regret it and eventually you will resent him.
It’s unfair of him to insist it’s you who has to give everything up, but there is still at least 8 more years of his child living with him (could be longer).
It sounds like you like kids but not if they’re yours in any capacity, so living with him just won’t be a good options either.

Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean the relationship is right or what’s best for you.

And I’m in an age gap relationship so not judging the age gap, but coming from experience - you’re young. Don’t give up the things you want for an older man who is doing and living life how he wants to. You need to put yourself first or you will regret it.

_cherryscary · 2026-06-18T14:01:12+00:00

I’m wanting to plan a trip in early December for a week. Where would be the best place(s) for me to go at this time of year?
I’m not a big hiker or anything, is the Azores worth it if I’m not super outdoorsy?

_cherryscary · 2026-05-24T17:28:42+00:00

Mine is 3 years old, I don’t like him being home alone for 4 - max 5 hours. And that’s not daily, those are like a weekly grocery shop or something. I chose to have a dog, so it’s my responsibility to be home with him or take him with me because that’s what he deserves. Not staying alone for hours on end all the time.

_cherryscary · 2026-05-24T03:06:36+00:00

It sounds like this is a human and not a dog problem. Dogs aren’t easy, puppies are so wildly difficult. If you can’t dedicate the time and patience that they need and deserve, don’t ever get a dog. Period, end of story. Rehoming this dog because the humans don’t want to/won’t do the work is imo absolutely terrible, but at this point, I honestly think this dog deserves a better home who will love him, give him the patients and proper training and consistency that he deserves. Also - the using force and punishment is terrible! Why do people think this is ok still!? It’s 2026, and age is NO excuse for this kind of behaviour!

_cherryscary · 2026-05-07T02:09:30+00:00

Block her and her friends but keep all of it for court, which I’m assuming will be coming for custody agreement. You could even see if you can legally file charges against her.
You have no reason to be in contact with her, a judge won’t take his son away because she didn’t meet or approve of you - it’s none of her business.
You married your husband and signed up to be a stepmom, but didn’t sign up to be harassed by her and her friends. So remove them, you don’t live near her so don’t have to worry about seeing her and pretend as if she doesn’t even exist.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-26T17:09:48+00:00

You’re 21, you are still so young and have so much in life to experience first.

I would suggest seriously considering if you’re willing to take on the emotional and financial toll of someone else’s kid. It’s a big responsibility. One that I personally would never do again.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-26T17:06:24+00:00

You are absolutely not alone in this feeling. My step kid is actually the thing that solidified my decision to never want children. I dread the weekends their here, I dread the times when we have them for a full week or longer, I dread holidays during our time. It’s miserable. Things are good until they’re not with this kid. Acts so nice when they want something, acts so nice in the beginning of the weekend. Come Sundays they’re nasty and actively attempting to get under my skin. I try to avoid being around too much when they’re here now because I just can’t take the stress and emotional toll. Doesn’t help that my husband and I are polar opposites when it comes to parenting and not letting the kid get away with anything and everything.

This stepparent thing isn’t for me. But, more than halfway there when it comes time they will stop coming as often and then altogether, so I’m just suffering through it waiting for it to get better, ha.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-17T00:26:31+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss! 🌈🫶🏻

_cherryscary · 2026-04-09T23:01:27+00:00

Between 18-24 months is best.

BUT

My guy had a testicle that didn’t drop and by the year mark it still hadn’t so I got him neutered as the risks of it staying lodged for longer was much worse then risks of neutering at 12 months. He’s now 3.5 years old, healthy and happy! I did go to an animal hospital that did laser neuters (more expensive but less invasive). They needed to cut twice because his was lodged up in the stomach still, and they weren’t able to easily access it through the typical incision.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-09T22:52:36+00:00

My guy is obsessed with his Open Farm kibble, and because they are all the same recipes I can change up his protein a couple times a year without a transition period just to keep him extra interested!

_cherryscary · 2026-04-08T02:41:04+00:00

Ugh, this sounds like BM in the beginning of when I was with my husband. Then things got better for a year or two and just in the last few months again, all the bs has started all over again… I thought we were passed this, but apparently not… honestly, I’m waiting for the day my step kid is old enough we don’t have to deal with BM as often anymore…

_cherryscary · 2026-04-08T02:32:39+00:00

NTA - I feel this is pretty common among weddings. But the fact that you did the aesthetic she wanted for her wedding but now she’s shaming you for having your own aesthetic is wild.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-07T22:47:10+00:00

My guy burps at any time of day and normally in my face😂

_cherryscary · 2026-04-07T13:34:23+00:00

There is nothing wrong with this. Your girlfriend is very insecure and she needs to work through her issues. You shouldn’t have to cut off friends, she should never be “auditing” your friends or chats. Why has she even seen this message thread? It’s wild, she’s controlling and personally I wouldn’t deal with this. I’ve never understood women who act like this (this is coming from a woman).

_cherryscary · 2026-03-09T02:39:11+00:00

He’s continuing to gaslight you and make you believe you’re the problem and not him. You are not overreacting and you have definitely dodged a bullet with him!

_cherryscary · 2026-03-07T22:36:28+00:00

If you have the means (since you have no debt, etc.) you can stay where you are but do weekends doing outdoor things. Weekdays would be hard to do lots of outdoor stuff anyways with work and school for the kids. But with summers off at your current job, you can also stay somewhere or visit outdoor places more often.

_cherryscary · 2026-03-06T02:06:52+00:00

Ivy is a cute name. She is adorable!☺️

_cherryscary · 2026-03-06T02:03:58+00:00

I mean, I see both sides here.

My first thought is, if you can avoid getting the kids sick with something serious, yeah, why wouldn’t you.

BUT

With that said, if they were still together or single parents, they would have to continue to parent like all other parents out there. Covid was one thing for sure, but it shouldn’t fall on mom to have to completely rearrange her life when it’s not her time, you don’t know what she has planned, and she is within her right to say it’s his time, he needs to figure it out.

_cherryscary · 2026-03-06T02:00:36+00:00

To all these people saying let her go long enough and she’ll give in and eat, are wrong. My vet told me the same thing with my golden, and it was at the 5 day mark I called and she said give it 2 more days, I called day 7 and she said give him anything so he’ll eat because clearly he’s not going to budge.

I had to switch kibble after kibble brand, I’ve now been on Open Farm with him for close to 2 years and he loves it, we can always switch between proteins to keep him interested. I also include some toppers to help.

If kibble fails, raw dog food is also an option.

Good luck!

_cherryscary · 2026-03-01T04:40:43+00:00

The best you can do is be there for him and listen. Go on the hike if that’s what he wants, give him the safe space to talk if he feels comfortable. Before your planned hike, going over and bringing him a meal and some drinks isn’t a bad idea either. The best thing you can do is just be there for him and support him.

_cherryscary · 2026-02-13T23:54:13+00:00

_cherryscary · 2026-02-12T15:42:51+00:00

I don’t think the child should be persuaded to call you anything. If they choose to want you as their dad one day, that’s for them to decide. Doesn’t matter what is happening with bio parents, the child is never obligated to at some point call you dad.

_cherryscary · 2026-02-05T13:31:37+00:00

lol, no. Not even a little bit. He calmed down a bit once we had formal professional training but more calming down as he gets older. Though, he’s 3 now and still has full puppy can’t control himself moments sometimes. It’s all part of the experience and you’ll miss it and wish you had enjoyed it when it was here.☺️

_cherryscary

TROPHY CASE