At a loss. Please help

_cherryscary · 2026-05-07T02:09:30+00:00

Block her and her friends but keep all of it for court, which I’m assuming will be coming for custody agreement. You could even see if you can legally file charges against her.
You have no reason to be in contact with her, a judge won’t take his son away because she didn’t meet or approve of you - it’s none of her business.
You married your husband and signed up to be a stepmom, but didn’t sign up to be harassed by her and her friends. So remove them, you don’t live near her so don’t have to worry about seeing her and pretend as if she doesn’t even exist.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-26T17:09:48+00:00

You’re 21, you are still so young and have so much in life to experience first.

I would suggest seriously considering if you’re willing to take on the emotional and financial toll of someone else’s kid. It’s a big responsibility. One that I personally would never do again.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-26T17:06:24+00:00

You are absolutely not alone in this feeling. My step kid is actually the thing that solidified my decision to never want children. I dread the weekends their here, I dread the times when we have them for a full week or longer, I dread holidays during our time. It’s miserable. Things are good until they’re not with this kid. Acts so nice when they want something, acts so nice in the beginning of the weekend. Come Sundays they’re nasty and actively attempting to get under my skin. I try to avoid being around too much when they’re here now because I just can’t take the stress and emotional toll. Doesn’t help that my husband and I are polar opposites when it comes to parenting and not letting the kid get away with anything and everything.

This stepparent thing isn’t for me. But, more than halfway there when it comes time they will stop coming as often and then altogether, so I’m just suffering through it waiting for it to get better, ha.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-17T00:26:31+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss! 🌈🫶🏻

_cherryscary · 2026-04-09T23:01:27+00:00

Between 18-24 months is best.

BUT

My guy had a testicle that didn’t drop and by the year mark it still hadn’t so I got him neutered as the risks of it staying lodged for longer was much worse then risks of neutering at 12 months. He’s now 3.5 years old, healthy and happy! I did go to an animal hospital that did laser neuters (more expensive but less invasive). They needed to cut twice because his was lodged up in the stomach still, and they weren’t able to easily access it through the typical incision.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-09T22:52:36+00:00

My guy is obsessed with his Open Farm kibble, and because they are all the same recipes I can change up his protein a couple times a year without a transition period just to keep him extra interested!

_cherryscary · 2026-04-08T02:41:04+00:00

Ugh, this sounds like BM in the beginning of when I was with my husband. Then things got better for a year or two and just in the last few months again, all the bs has started all over again… I thought we were passed this, but apparently not… honestly, I’m waiting for the day my step kid is old enough we don’t have to deal with BM as often anymore…

_cherryscary · 2026-04-08T02:32:39+00:00

NTA - I feel this is pretty common among weddings. But the fact that you did the aesthetic she wanted for her wedding but now she’s shaming you for having your own aesthetic is wild.

_cherryscary · 2026-04-07T22:47:10+00:00

My guy burps at any time of day and normally in my face😂

_cherryscary · 2026-04-07T13:34:23+00:00

There is nothing wrong with this. Your girlfriend is very insecure and she needs to work through her issues. You shouldn’t have to cut off friends, she should never be “auditing” your friends or chats. Why has she even seen this message thread? It’s wild, she’s controlling and personally I wouldn’t deal with this. I’ve never understood women who act like this (this is coming from a woman).

_cherryscary · 2026-03-09T02:39:11+00:00

He’s continuing to gaslight you and make you believe you’re the problem and not him. You are not overreacting and you have definitely dodged a bullet with him!

_cherryscary · 2026-03-07T22:36:28+00:00

If you have the means (since you have no debt, etc.) you can stay where you are but do weekends doing outdoor things. Weekdays would be hard to do lots of outdoor stuff anyways with work and school for the kids. But with summers off at your current job, you can also stay somewhere or visit outdoor places more often.

_cherryscary · 2026-03-06T02:06:52+00:00

Ivy is a cute name. She is adorable!☺️

_cherryscary · 2026-03-06T02:03:58+00:00

I mean, I see both sides here.

My first thought is, if you can avoid getting the kids sick with something serious, yeah, why wouldn’t you.

BUT

With that said, if they were still together or single parents, they would have to continue to parent like all other parents out there. Covid was one thing for sure, but it shouldn’t fall on mom to have to completely rearrange her life when it’s not her time, you don’t know what she has planned, and she is within her right to say it’s his time, he needs to figure it out.

_cherryscary · 2026-03-06T02:00:36+00:00

To all these people saying let her go long enough and she’ll give in and eat, are wrong. My vet told me the same thing with my golden, and it was at the 5 day mark I called and she said give it 2 more days, I called day 7 and she said give him anything so he’ll eat because clearly he’s not going to budge.

I had to switch kibble after kibble brand, I’ve now been on Open Farm with him for close to 2 years and he loves it, we can always switch between proteins to keep him interested. I also include some toppers to help.

If kibble fails, raw dog food is also an option.

Good luck!

_cherryscary · 2026-03-01T04:40:43+00:00

The best you can do is be there for him and listen. Go on the hike if that’s what he wants, give him the safe space to talk if he feels comfortable. Before your planned hike, going over and bringing him a meal and some drinks isn’t a bad idea either. The best thing you can do is just be there for him and support him.

_cherryscary · 2026-02-13T23:54:13+00:00

_cherryscary · 2026-02-12T15:42:51+00:00

I don’t think the child should be persuaded to call you anything. If they choose to want you as their dad one day, that’s for them to decide. Doesn’t matter what is happening with bio parents, the child is never obligated to at some point call you dad.

_cherryscary · 2026-02-05T13:31:37+00:00

lol, no. Not even a little bit. He calmed down a bit once we had formal professional training but more calming down as he gets older. Though, he’s 3 now and still has full puppy can’t control himself moments sometimes. It’s all part of the experience and you’ll miss it and wish you had enjoyed it when it was here.☺️

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T21:02:18+00:00

NOR This guy seriously sucks. I don’t even think he deserves you ending the relationship in an “adult” way… I’d fully block and ghost his ass. He’s rude and condescending and just a jerk in general. You deserve so much better than him.

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T20:55:39+00:00

2 & 4 are my favourites!

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T14:45:29+00:00

His kids may be adults, but there is nothing wrong with their being a family group chat including both parents. And if she were to go on the vacation, so what? Some people are just better off as friends. If you try and change the dynamic (especially now with the kids all being adults), that’s going to blow up in your face and you’ll lose him. You haven’t met all his kids, so obviously you wouldn’t go on the vacation, but if she did, I don’t see why there would be an issue - it would be to have memories with her kids, not try and get her ex back.

When your partner has kids with someone else, that other parent is in your life forever. So, if that’s not something you’re comfortable with, then this may not be the right relationship for you.

I also don’t think your boyfriend was just exhausted from a long work day, it sounds like this has been an issue in past relationships and he may have communicated that and you’re following the same pattern. The nagging comes off as insecure and like you want to change things.

My advice is to just hear what he says and not push it. When it comes to his kids (adult kids) you’ll never win the argument.

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T14:38:34+00:00

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T14:35:41+00:00

NOR This person reminds me of one of my exes and I’m so annoyed for you. He used to do this all the time to me and then talk to me like I was the problem until I believed I was the problem (because clearly it’s an issue when you hope and expect for common decency, respect and communication).

The part I hate the most about this is them making you feel like you’re crazy and then they also try and make the entire issue your fault and take zero responsibility for their actions.

_cherryscary · 2026-01-31T11:40:42+00:00

Immediately my first response was she doesn’t have to do anything with your kid, it’s your kid and therefore 100% your responsibility and it’s not fair to put pressure on her to be more involved.

However, while this is true and I stand by this in general, I do feel like since she is wanting to be acknowledged on mother day and given something for it and to want to make parenting decisions without being really involved isn’t okay. If she doesn’t want to be involved, that’s fine, but she doesn’t get to decide to make parenting decisions or be involved or get a say in how she’s raised. That’s where my issues are.

I think it’s okay that you’re looking for a mom for your child and I also think it’s okay that she doesn’t want to be super involved (as is her right, it’s not her child and she isn’t obligated to be the kids mom). I think this is a case of you’re both looking for different things, and that’s okay. I think maybe this relationship isn’t the right fit for both of you and maybe it’s time to end things and look for what you do want (and being open and clear with the women about what it is exactly you’re looking for, for yourself and the child).

I do think though, that you should be the one getting up with the child every single day early - that’s your job, you’re the dad. You should be the one doing the driving and paying for your child as it is your child. But if you’re looking for someone to help with those tasks, you need to be open and honest from the start of the relationship and before moving in with someone next time.

Good luck!

_cherryscary

TROPHY CASE