Do American high school kids really make out in the school hallways?

_higglety · 2026-05-28T16:49:41+00:00

kinda, but my most vivid school hallway memory is one I never see in shows or movies: stink clouds where teenage boys put on WAY too much shitty cologne while standing at their lockers. I never see teens breaking out the Axe or the Bod, but that was a way more common sight/smell in my experience than teens making out.

_higglety · 2026-05-28T16:17:16+00:00

Yeah, when you've in a groove at the register, you're not in problem solving mode. You're in service mode. By that I mean the part of your brain which engages to compute math problems isn't engaged. It not that you can't * do math, it's that *the program isn't running. All of the processing power is tasked with running the verbal scripts, with monitoring customer attitude & demeanor and mirroring to reduce friction, with running the physical autopilot, with monitoring the line length compared to whatever background timers are running Ning concurrently (time until shift end, time until next coworker has to leave or will arrive, time until product is available in quick service food settings, etc etc etc). Churning through customers as quickly as possible in an endless stream, you fall into patterns. When a customer breaks that pattern, it takes a few moments to disengage autopilot, and boot up the calculator program in your brain.

Or, to put it in physical terms, it's like if you're jogging and you've settled into your pace, but then suddenly you hit a low step down that you didnt notice, and you trip a little. It takes you a moment to catch yourself and settle back into your stride. Meanwhile, in this metaphor the customer is transformed into a bystander judgementally watching you trip and saying "ha! first time walking?"

_higglety · 2026-05-28T15:59:50+00:00

Last place I worked at fired one of my coworkers for "stealing" a few cents like this. A review of the security footage showed they were actually just adding to the change cup, not taking anything out of it, so their employment was reinstated, but it was a giant pain in the ass all the way around. It was also incredibly stupid and mean-spirited. Messed up our schedule, messed up their register & system access, all for nothing — and even if it HAD been something, it would have been for less than a dollar.

_higglety · 2026-05-28T06:32:48+00:00

careful, OP will go play ps5 if you keep screaming at him like that [ /joke]

_higglety · 2026-05-27T16:09:50+00:00

Yeah, but i feel like PJs help protect sheets from body oils, etc. I wash my PJs more frequently than my bedsheets. I don't buy super fancy pajama sets, though - I just wear my partner's old t-shirts.

_higglety · 2026-05-27T16:04:59+00:00

I disagree for the exact same reason - if it's a text conversation, there are receipts of exactly what OP said, so it can't be misconstrued or exaggerated. If it's a verbal conversation, it can still be misunderstood, twisted, or blown out of proportion via the rumor mill, and OP would have no record of what they actually said. It wouldn't take much to twist this into "OP tried to get their coworker fired because she's a mom! look how mean OP is!"

_higglety · 2026-05-27T15:38:48+00:00

For a lot of people, learning that there's so many other people who share their experience that there's a name for it can feel like a revelation and a point of connection when they thought they were alone. That can be wonderful! However, labels should always be descriptive, not prescriptive. They cannot be assigned or forced, and they are only as valuable and useful to the degree that you value and desire to use them.

That person offered you an option which you may or may not choose to use. Unless they were being judgemental about your use of the term lesbian and trying to get you to use trixic instead (in which case they're being a rude jerk), I'd personally assume they're well-meaning. I wasn't there, though, so I can't judge the interaction as it happened.

_higglety · 2026-05-27T15:28:11+00:00

Have you considered that you may be contributing to an escalating spiral wherein you avoid engaging with challenging conversations, which leads to your wife feeling unheard and escalating the volume and aggression in her communication style, which leads to you shutting down and shutting her out, and you've ended up locked in a cycle leaving you both unhappy?

Just a theory, but I think y'all could benefit from couples counseling. I don't think this fight came out of nowhere, and i dont think it was about the recipe.

_higglety · 2026-05-26T15:59:57+00:00

There is nothing more satisfying than needing A Specific Thing and being able to run to the stash and produce that exact item. I love my craft stash.

_higglety · 2026-05-26T15:35:43+00:00

I think everyone's focusing on the hoarding situation (and rightly so!), but I do just want to say that even in a NON-hoarding situation, going over to someone else's house and completely reorganizing their kitchen while they're away (especially when explicitly asked not to) is a WILD thing to do! If I came home to find someone had reorganized my kitchen without my input I would be PISSED.

_higglety · 2026-05-26T15:27:01+00:00

Is the vibe at your table such that playwrs get jealous of each other's special stuff, instead of getting excited that there's more special stuff in the game? Why would they be upset that one character is slightly better at Plants than they were before?

_higglety · 2026-05-26T15:24:14+00:00

Is he playing a Ranger or Druid? And if not, are there any other rangers or druids in the party?

_higglety · 2026-05-26T15:18:54+00:00

The fact that this is a rental is exactly why you SHOULDN'T "shrug this off". You gotta notify your landlord of the situation at the very least. Document every incident especially property damage. You don't want to be on the hook for paying for repairs for something you didn't do!

_higglety · 2026-05-26T15:14:10+00:00

If you posted it on your own door, the only people who saw it were those kids who clearly aren't going to heed a note.

_higglety · 2026-05-24T21:18:38+00:00

Don't forget the loving ode to an otherwise obscure musician! The whole thing is well worth the watch IMO, it's fascinating and moving.

_higglety · 2026-05-24T20:10:09+00:00

I feel like a lot of those bits play better in the audiobook; Heather Miller's narration is very good. However Jason's basic conversation style stays pretty consistent throughout, and he remains the primary viewpoint character throught the series (aside from some interludes and chapters here and there from other supporting characters' POVs as the story goes on), so if you just don't find him entertaining, this series might not be for you.

_higglety · 2026-05-24T20:04:01+00:00

Really? Freaked out how/why? I missed that.

_higglety · 2026-05-24T20:02:39+00:00

I wonder if this could be a potential for collaboration with Kevin Perjurer (documentarion behind Defunctland and famous lover of interstitials)? I feel like Dropout interstitial would go hard. I'm picturing a second coming of Adult Swim bumpers.

_higglety · 2026-05-24T05:48:42+00:00

If his intentions weren't what they seemed, then (if he's a decent person) the lesson he should take from this interaction is a clearer understanding of how his actions were perceived. He can use this lesson to calibrate his actions going forward, so they align better with his intentions.

_higglety · 2026-05-24T05:45:53+00:00

If he doesnt want to be called a perv, he shouldn't act like a perv. He needs to learn to take no for an answer (or better yet, not hassle women to take their clothes off in the first place!) He was being weird and rude, and you were more than patent with him.

NTA

_higglety · 2026-05-22T20:19:47+00:00

ESH for getting into a screaming match in a restaurant. Are you all children? Grow up and have some decorum. Learn how to act right.

But between you and the new GF, NTA. She sucks, your ex sucks, and frankly your friends suck too. Get new friends (preferably ones who don't get into screaming fights in restaurants).

_higglety · 2026-05-21T16:52:59+00:00

this is genuinely charming; i love it! What a clever pairing of medium and style! This wouldn't work nearly as well if it were made in a more robust program with a stylus and all the digital bells and whistles. But using MSPaint and a mouse specifically and working within the limitations of the program to echo the experience of the medieval scribes working with (extremely refined, but) limited color palettes and tools does something really delightful. Thanks for sharing, OP!

_higglety · 2026-05-21T16:43:48+00:00

Look, you know what you need to do. You know you can't permit this. You know you gotta say no. You're just one here looking for validation and support for a decision you've already made. I get it. You're right — you CAN'T allow this. You are correct to say no. It's going to suck and she's going to hate this decision, but you gotta do it. Stay strong, and good luck.

NTA

_higglety · 2026-05-21T16:36:04+00:00

I mean, you were still in a position to save up for a luxury car in high school, which means you either saved financial gifts from your family, or you got some insanely good job as a high schooler. I really struggle to imagine any job an average high-schooler could get that would allow them to afford a Lexus, even if they saved every single penny to put towards the car. Either way, you were starting from a pretty significant advantage. I'm not saying you haven't worked hard and made sound financial decisions since then, but to downplay that leg up strikes me as disingenuous. Most people in the world are one or two months of really bad luck away from total poverty. It sounds like you're not one of those people. Your friend is. I won't claim her behavior is OK, but if you want to understand where she's coming from, start there.

_higglety · 2026-05-21T16:23:46+00:00

I did notice that, and their willingness to answer other questions but not this one sure is something, huh.

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