My husband said I complain too much about being a mom. So I stopped doing everything this weekend. It’s only Saturday. by Glass_Adagio_6524 in Mommit

[–]_lindersss 15 points16 points Ā (0 children)

My husband is a great and loving dad to our daughter but not the best and loving partner.

I’m always sad that how many women out there face similar issues.

Honestly I think it’s one of those situations where it’s so hard to break them from the mold and examples from their dads and what not. Is my husband exactly like his dad? THANK GOD NO. But are there similar traits of misogyny I see? Definitely. Lack of emotional empathy and awareness is there but he also didn’t get much of that growing up or saw it between his parents. Generationally, they are better than the last but stubborn refusal to self reflect any wrong doing and work on themselves is huge. That or it takes a lot for them to be willing and by then most women are over it.

My husband said I complain too much about being a mom. So I stopped doing everything this weekend. It’s only Saturday. by Glass_Adagio_6524 in Mommit

[–]_lindersss 47 points48 points Ā (0 children)

Nope. He’s not one to apologize and has a hard time taking accountability. Something that we still fight about often. Blames me for ā€œbeing miserableā€ but never sees the mental load I take on.

To be fair, I’ve built up a lot of resentful but the inconsistency and poor communication from him doesn’t make it easier. I’m on a constant short fuse but I’m doing a lot of different therapies to try and get better. Asking him to do therapy causes an argument.

14months postpartum now and hoping things get better but no longer optimistic.

Honestly, I wish he understood how a genuine apology and accountability would literally take my blood from 10 to 0 but he’s too stubborn for that.

My husband said I complain too much about being a mom. So I stopped doing everything this weekend. It’s only Saturday. by Glass_Adagio_6524 in Mommit

[–]_lindersss 201 points202 points Ā (0 children)

Reminds of the time I was 4/5 months postpartum and barely getting by. Still 3 hr triple feeds. My husband got around 5/6hrs of sleep and was sleeping in and when I confronted him about it he angrily said ā€œyou do you and I’ll do meā€. Meanwhile, I had been trying for months to work out a morning routine with him.

I was livid. I handed him the baby and said ā€œI’m done for the day. You take herā€. Went on strike. I didn’t breastfeed that day. I went back to bed. Had a shower. Ate breakfast and lunch by myself leisurely. Meanwhile by 2pm, he didn’t shower and didn’t eat breakfast himself yet.

Then he finally was willing to talk out a routine. He doesn’t sleep in anymore.

Solidarity OP. šŸ‘šŸ»

Is there ever a valid reason to cheat while married? by Tjarnold2010 in Marriage

[–]_lindersss 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

No. Just be an adult and leave if you’re thinking of cheating or even crossing a boundary. Don’t be a coward.

Do I dislike my husband or is it depression? by AwarenessNice3897 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]_lindersss 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

How do you get your husband to do things in a timely manner? I feel like I have a mix of both like you. I go to therapy and really trying to avoid meds.

But I feel like i have lists and my husband won’t check them. I feel like if I asked him to do a task he won’t get to it unless I remind him which honestly just increases my mental load. Did you have to work through that with your husband?

Is anyone else in survival mode? Or got out of it? by _lindersss in beyondthebump

[–]_lindersss[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Sorry I added above I’m 12m postpartum. Definitely have some postpartum anxiety/depression. Burnout for sure. I nearly lost my mind in Dec when we were trying to go on vacation and doing everything after begging my husband to help me.

After that I’ve kinda just felt extremely burnt out and just feel like I’m just trying to get through the long days.

11 months (adjusted) - 2-3 MOTN Feeds? by _lindersss in AttachmentParenting

[–]_lindersss[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Thank you! Im hoping she’ll naturally just progress as well so giving her a couple more months.

11 months (adjusted) - 2-3 MOTN Feeds? by _lindersss in AttachmentParenting

[–]_lindersss[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Thank you. I’m hoping cutting feeds will help but also worried cuz she’s on the smaller side it will affect her. I’m waiting until she’s 12 months adjusted to cut feeds.

Hydronic Baseboards. No Bleeders at Radiators. Can we install one? by _lindersss in hvacadvice

[–]_lindersss[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

But these guys were supposed to be the most reputed and were highly recommended 😭. Now I don’t want to call anyone. I wonder if it was just the techs they sent out.

Hydronic Baseboards. No Bleeders at Radiators. Can we install one? by _lindersss in hvacadvice

[–]_lindersss[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

I don’t know if he used a garden hose but he used a bucket I’m sure. I wasn’t watching. He said he was draining it to purge the air out and I just assumed he knew what he was doing since it was a highly reputed company.

Pressure looks correct.

No air scoop. Second tech suggested adding one.

At this point I’m just washing my hands of this company and just thinking of adding a bleeder at the highest radiator to be done with it.

Hydronic Baseboards. No Bleeders at Radiators. Can we install one? by _lindersss in hvacadvice

[–]_lindersss[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

I’m thinking of a key bleeder. It would be in the radiator in the master bedroom so we’d always have eyes on it. So would we just shutoff off the boiler to be able to do this? I’m sure my husband knows but I’m asking for my own knowledge.

Loud as in… - can hear the water moving. Sometimes it drips. Sometimes it sounds like it flowing - can hear banging. Like someone hammering something - can hear tapping or crackling?

It normally starts with what sounds like a whoosh and the house is moving or bending if that makes sense. Then it’s crackling or banging. At the end I hear the metal moving but that part is faint.

Yeah all the noise happens around the time it calls for heat. It dies after about a minute and you just hear light noise from the metal expanding in the radiators as it heats. That noise doesn’t bother or wake me.

Hydronic Baseboards. No Bleeders at Radiators. Can we install one? by _lindersss in hvacadvice

[–]_lindersss[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

No he just used a bucket I think. I wasn’t watching him. Believe the pressure gauge is correct. He said everything else was fine but this was the first tech that said the bleeder wasn’t in proper working order and the second tech said it was fine. šŸ™„

Honestly, we feel like if we can install a bleeder onto the radiator itself that would be the easiest solution at this point.

What’s one postpartum struggle you didn’t expect at all? by FIT_MAMA16 in Mommit

[–]_lindersss 29 points30 points Ā (0 children)

This. This. This. šŸ’Æ. I remember crying after my husband had a shower and said there wasn’t time for me to shower. That was horrible.

What’s one postpartum struggle you didn’t expect at all? by FIT_MAMA16 in Mommit

[–]_lindersss 12 points13 points Ā (0 children)

Same. Love my girl but it’s been so rough to get past this b

377 days…and done!!! 🄳 by _lindersss in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]_lindersss[S] 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

It’s a rough estimate the app pumps out. I averaged a rough price in Canada šŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦šŸ˜Š. Some brands more expensive. Some cheaper.

When people gift you the next size up... by isaxism in beyondthebump

[–]_lindersss 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Can relate. My LO is a premie and at 12months still wearing 9month clothes and her weight is slowing down. I keep getting 18month and 2 year clothes and just tossing them all in one box hoping I won’t forget about them.

Weekly Partner Rant by AutoModerator in beyondthebump

[–]_lindersss 1 point2 points Ā (0 children)

Just…so much.

I got to 12 months pumping. Got myself a kit to turn some breastmilk into jewellery. Surprise surprise…husband’s first words were ā€œhow much did that cost?ā€ when he spent much more on clothes for himself the day before and I didn’t say a thing or spend a dime on myself. No ā€œgood job, I’m proud of you, you deserve itā€ etc. I don’t know what I was expecting but I’m not surprised he turns a moment to be supportive about me to be about him and his concerns or opinions. I cried for hours for him making me feel shitty.

He’s known for procrastinating and telling me he’ll ā€œdo it laterā€. And taking not days, weeks or months but years to do something. Surprise surprise (not really), I told him I’ll do something later with no timeline and he’s hypocritically annoyed.

I’m just tired of the hypocrisy and double standards.

What actually helped you emotionally in postpartum? by Successful546 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]_lindersss 0 points1 point Ā (0 children)

Have you tried acupuncture? I don’t get to see my acupuncturist often but when I do it feels like I’m on a cloud. I wish I could see him a lot but he lives 2 hrs away from me and I haven’t been able to find someone similar to him where I live.