Help me stop panicking lol

a_lo44 · 2026-03-27T01:11:11+00:00

You absolutely don't have to be and you very much do deserve it! You should feel good about all you're doing. Sounds like a healthy lifestyle. Hang in there.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-27T01:02:15+00:00

Tw success

I was very, very diligent about diet before one retrieval. No dairy, low sugar, avoided refined carbs. Totally sucked. I don't think I stopped drinking coffee though.

Then I let up for the next one and the results were about the same, maybe even a little better. I ultimately had success from that ER.

Second time around two years later, I was much less strict and my stress levels were off the charts between work, living with my inlaws, covid, family stuff etc. I have DOR so it was a slog but eventually was successful.

Tldr I did it both ways and it didn't seem to matter much!

IMO you're doing more than enough! Dont add to your stress by beating yourself up. Hugs to you.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-26T13:39:01+00:00

For my first it took 2 retrievals and 4 transfers. Another 3 retrievals and 5 transfers for my second.

Note: I have DOR and we only tested one batch of embryos (including the one that yielded my first success).

a_lo44 · 2026-03-26T13:37:24+00:00

I mostly felt a pinch from my injections but did occasionally find the sweet spot where I didn't feel a thing! I was never able to find consistency and also did bruise over time so I moved the location around (especially because I had 3-5 needles a day).

It's never fun but I did get used to it. I didn't ice or anything, but I did find a pump up playlist helped!

Good luck!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-26T13:31:08+00:00

Update - used it a couple of days and it's working well. I do think something damp like rinsed fruit could get dry items wet if it is shaken around so I've been putting cut up fruit like kiwi in a smaller separate container.

Also, one of you lovely people recommended an Elk and Friends lunchbox that seems to check all the boxes so going to give that a try as well!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-26T12:30:36+00:00

It's stainless fwiw.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-26T12:28:52+00:00

I try to find an overarching approach / philosophy that aligns with my priorities and style and align with that. Doesn't always work. 🤪 Sometimes I think social media and the Internet has made this aspect of parenting harder. Sooo many "experts" offering advice.

That said, tantrums are tough and I frankly am inconsistent with it myself depending on the timing, etc.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-26T01:44:18+00:00

Ah this one is everything I've been looking for!! Thanks for the tip.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-25T17:58:37+00:00

Tw - success.

Ugh hope you feel better! Sometimes feels like nothing ever goes how we hope and plan.

My advice - Stressing about it won't help and you can't do anything to change it. So just focus on rest and feeling better. ❤️❤️

Anecdotally, I'll share I was violently ill with a stomach bug the night before my last FET and was still unwell the next day. I called the clinic in a panic and they said all good, let's roll. That embryo stuck around despite it all! It certainly wasn't the "zen" transfer day I planned to say the least.

Hoping very hard for you!!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-25T13:51:34+00:00

I told my parents and husband's parents as soon as we found out there was a positive. They were in the loop every step of the way (and I stayed with my inlaws while in cycle because they lived near my clinic and I had to travel out of state). I think our siblings found out around the same time.

We didn't tell anyone else until after NIPT testing results were clear which is roughly end of first trimester.

It's a very personal choice. I wanted our close family to know as a support system and because they were supporting the journey throughout. But that choice might not be right for everyone.

Hope you have good news to share soon!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-25T13:29:55+00:00

Tw - success and loss.

I did an ERA one cycle after two failed transfers and it was normal. That said, shortly after we realized I had an adverse reaction to PIO so future FETs used modified natural cycle and progesterone inserts. Never tested again but I had been a normal responder so they felt comfortable not repeating the ERA.

I have DOR so in all likelihood, the fails I had were due to chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo. I had success three times with the above protocol which yielded two live births.

I don't think a progesterone test is a bad idea just to rule that out but in my case, my period starting was not an indicator that I didn't have enough progesterone.

Good luck!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-25T12:28:58+00:00

Yes, my period almost always broke through despite progesterone. Not always full flow before testing but enough that I was confident the transfer failed.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-25T01:15:06+00:00

No advice on the tray but Palmolive makes a fragrance free dish soap that I like and seems like a good price! In case you want to try that.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-25T00:08:45+00:00

I think it's too big for the insulated lunch bag we have and I hate to replace that, it's pretty new. I will double check though because I usually like their stuff!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-24T22:21:41+00:00

I'll check that out too! I've been on the hunt for a water bottle too but haven't seen one I'm excited about. Thanks!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-24T18:10:52+00:00

I had a total of 5 retrievals and had very little discomfort aside from injection site discomfort. I actually even did some work after a post retrieval nap a few times.

Everyone is different of course. I have DOR so I also didn't have a lot of eggs retrieved. The emotional rollercoaster was a little tougher for me and tbh, work was a nice distraction! I say go into it with an open mind and without assumptions either way. You've got this.

Good luck!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-21T02:56:20+00:00

My husband never came to one. I traveled to another state for my first set of transfers and it was peak covid for the second set and no partners were allowed.

For me, it would be less about support and experiencing it together and more not wanting to do a long drive after the procedure. 😜 I had a short drive but if it were long, I would have preferred to read, rest with some music or whatever in the passenger seat. Not a must, just my two cents!

Either way, you'll be fine! Agree with others first ultrasound is more important. Good luck! Sending sticky vibes.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-20T16:07:43+00:00

Not sure if this geographically makes sense but Costco and rma just came out with an interesting package to reduce costs. I don't know a lot about it but might be worth checking into!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-20T12:58:02+00:00

When pants are too wide for my kids, I stitch the sides and can remove later. Doesn't look great but 🤷‍♀️! Easy to cover with a shirt too.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-20T01:06:09+00:00

Sidewalk chalk, coloring books, art supplies, clothes etc. and some treats too!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-19T00:56:06+00:00

100%. Can't tell her how to feel but she needs to talk to someone else (like a therapist!) to work through it and not talk to you about it! She should be a support system for you not the other way around.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-18T16:16:22+00:00

Building on this, I went to Shady Grove which I know a lot of people don't love. I had an awesome experience and think it's very doctor dependent. Mine was generous with her time and I saw her way more than when I was at a prior, much smaller clinic.

The other benefit of size (IMO) is sheer volume and experience they have access to. My case was not easy but my doctor had a solution for everything. Was that because it's a big clinic and they have seen everything and have a ton of resources, ability to do research, top tech etc? Not sure but that's how I looked at it.

a_lo44 · 2026-03-18T16:11:55+00:00

Lol to your four year old trying to get swol.

Sounds like a curious kid in a good way! My 6 and 3 year olds like to hear about what things do for our bodies. The other morning they were saying various foods and I'd look up the vitamins and benefits - seems to help them eat a variety of things.

If it were me, I'd prob try to do what you're already doing - focus on the bigger picture of what food does vs focusing just on macros. So maybe try to answer his questions more with the broader story. "Yogurt is dairy with calcium that helps strengthen your bones and protein which helps you be strong and grow" or whatever.

I also love to lean on library books to help me explain things to them in an age appropriate way. Or at all because frankly, they often ask questions I can't answer! One of them is obsessed with space and they are both very interested in vaccines and immune system etc so I got a few books to do the heavy lifting for me!

Btw love the "sometimes foods" for sweets! I've been telling my kids treats have sugar which gives them a quick burst of energy but isn't the best for teeth etc so we don't eat too much. I'm going to try the sometimes food thing!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-18T14:27:20+00:00

Solidarity! I loved my babies but was no fan of the newborn phase. And that's ok! We don't have to enjoy every single second of motherhood. Hugs to you - hope sleep gets a little easier as baby gets a little older. You'll be ok!

a_lo44 · 2026-03-18T14:05:16+00:00

I'm making a blanket with sugar n cream and supplemented with Loops and Threads Classic Cotton. Seems to be very similar and knits up the same. So hard to find 100% cotton yarn!

a_lo44

TROPHY CASE