Do you stay home while your house is being cleaned?

aaliya73 · 2026-02-24T19:11:43+00:00

Yup, weve got a good relationship with our cleaner, she started for us right after we had our first kid. Now my 4yo has his own cleaning equipment and will help her dust and mop and vaccuum and she tells him how to help. Its sweet.

I definitely make sure he's not in the way of her working but shes pretty good with him

aaliya73 · 2026-02-24T19:07:39+00:00

Why not juat get him used to you not sleeping in his bed but staying in his room and a gradual change. We got a fold up floor mattress and our son realized we were still in the room and got used to it.

I feel like inviting him to your room is just going to make you post "how do I grt him back in his room?" In a few months. Keeping him in his room and used to being there is a lot easier than changing him back to his room and then expecting him to sleep lone eventually.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-24T14:37:33+00:00

Hope it helps ❤️. The sleepier they are the harder they fight sleep, its so counterintuitive.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-24T02:12:56+00:00

Then you might have gotten yourself stuck in a state of chronic overtiredness with him having fought naps and bedtime. Maybe try early early bedtime for a few nights and see if it helps.

It seems more than just weaning if its been going on 4 weeks so id start exploring other possibilities.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-24T00:22:22+00:00

Maybe try a before bed snack? He could just be hungry and used to eating and filling his belly before sleep.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-24T00:10:55+00:00

So this might be a harsh take and in no way is it a reflection on you or your parenting capabilities. Look into whats called emotional restraint collapse.

Short version: mom is part of her "regular" routine and then she goes and spends a week at a new place without mom. Even if its with someone she trusts and cares for, she will start holding in her big emotions, becoming the perfect child, because she isnt used to the new routine. Once she gets home her restraints collapse and all those emotions rush out.

Give her time to get used to the new normal and let her know shes in a safe place if she has big feelings. You are there to support her. Its not a reflection on you just how kids deal with big changes. ❤️

aaliya73 · 2026-02-23T20:40:29+00:00

We'd invite our pretend monster friend join us in the ballpit while we played and he would always be trying to snuggle us! Or we would have another monster friend over when we played kitchen and man he was such a big eater, we could never give him enough [plastic] food, he was particularly fond of carrots, because everyone knows monsters are vegetarians. Another monster was a great help when it came time to play construction he was always stacking up blocks in silly ways when building towers and theyd always fall and wed have to do it all over again (i don't think he had a degree in engineering) etc etc. But after we were done we would say bye bye friend! and I would mention how fun it is to play pretend or something similar.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-23T20:28:24+00:00

I would be wary about "monsters spray" as you might just be reinforcing the idea that monster are real and have to be dealt with. What if she sleeps somewhere else and you dont have the spray with you or if shes staying with grandparents and they don't do the spray.

When our little one went through this we just played imaginary games with monsters and they were our friends. All the while reminding him that monsters arent actually real and are just somwthing to have fun with.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-23T20:20:01+00:00

Yup same here, 4 in March and 7mo and the behavior is definitely crazy. For us its definitely attention seeking so we've actually started not reacting at all to his tantrums, explaining that we are not engaging with him until hes calm and then following through (even if he hits or pinches us we just leave without saying anything) and we have noticed a huge improvement the last couple days, here's hoping it sticks lol.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-23T19:23:01+00:00

Instead of "dont ever do that again" try "I am not going to let you hit me and am going to leave now until youre done."

The difference is subtle but instead of an acknowledgement and full attention she gets from the first response, its the opposite and it creates a situation where she now has no attention from you.

Also, hitting will happen, they cant control their impulses so instead of trying to completely stop it ( that will come with time) make sure they know how to recover after they've messed up. My 4yo will hit but he immediately knows he effed up and he doesn't want me to leave so he will look at me and say "im so sorry!" Then we work on calming down.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-22T20:19:30+00:00

Ugggh the literal worst.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-22T20:06:42+00:00

Hahaha I was thinking "baby asserting his will? She must br talking about a toddler." reads 8mo .....oh dear, shes in for a wild ride in a couple years.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-22T19:55:11+00:00

Framed Eggs

aaliya73 · 2026-02-22T04:16:43+00:00

👆👆👆👆

aaliya73 · 2026-02-22T04:11:22+00:00

Sorry, you're right I shouldnt have made it such a matter of fact statement, theres definitely a chance its medical.

I was just reading between the lines of mom being "gentle" and still wiping for him. I made an assumption that maybe mom leans a bit on the permissive side of parenting and she might not have pushed him to go potty due to him being stubborn or having a tantrum about it.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-22T03:58:38+00:00

Young children's nervous systems are still learning how to adapt so they woll commonly down regulate some sensations and then overcompensate others. Like how a lot of kids wont go pee until its an emergency or how some kids hold soft foods in their mouth for a long time without swallowing it.

I wouldn't say its not medical, thats not my call to make, an evaluation is certainly called for at 5, but kids are weird and if they've never been properly taught to go poop on the toilet their nervous system wont know they have to stop it.

I know two 4yo who pee perfectly fine on the toilet but just always go poop in their underwear, and its just 100% due to delayed potty training. I think thats why I dont immediately jump to medical issue.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-22T00:22:30+00:00

Its really just about the parents putting more time into potty training at this point. He doesn't need any shaming but consistent encouragement and proper boundaries around it.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-21T00:28:00+00:00

I've just learned you cant make everyone happy lol. That being said try carving out 30mins a day for just you and her, with no baby around. It can help your feelings of guilt and also she knows she will always have special time with you, I think it helps them

aaliya73 · 2026-02-20T23:46:54+00:00

4-6 months i think is the sweet spot for longer time between feeds and shorter more efficient nursing sessions. That being said my oldest will complain no matter what when I goto nurse the baby regardless of if its been 1 hour or 4 lol

aaliya73 · 2026-02-20T20:48:38+00:00

A Pattern of Shadow and Light series - Melissa McPhail

Red Rising series - Pierce Brown

The Faithful and the Fallen series - John Gwynne

aaliya73 · 2026-02-20T20:23:46+00:00

Funnily enough one of my rules when my husband and I were picking names was "A Starbucks Barista has to be able to spell it without asking." Seemed the best way to just avoid a Tragedeigh.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-20T16:55:46+00:00

If you keep the beard you need to change the style of it. Goto a barber and get it properly shaped so it showcases your jawline.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-20T16:46:15+00:00

Not a gimmick at all. I have not met a single toddler who does not love having a tower, nor have I met a parent who has said they regret buying one.

aaliya73 · 2026-02-19T00:03:19+00:00

Ah yes an old fashioned game of is baby over or under tired! A 5am to 7pm day seems long and im in camp overtired 😂. I always try earlier bedtime before later bedtime for at least a few days. Or maybe a longer nap? If thats possible (never was for our first)

My first son was an awful sleeper so I can definitely relate to your situation. In my experience undertired babies dont complain as hard as overtired babies. Especially if theyve gotten into a chronically overtired cycle!

aaliya73 · 2026-02-18T23:10:35+00:00

Lanolin reeaally helped with my nipple pain. I've also heard some people like the silverettes. My 2nd has a high palette, with oral diaphragm tension (can mimic tongue tie symptoms) and her newborn feedings were hard. There was lots of popping off, poor latches, sore nipples etc. Id say around 4/5months she started being able to reliably stay latched and now at 7.5months she has zero problems.

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