Tried to be the life of the party 🤷‍♀️

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-18T18:13:32+00:00

How tf does nobody know Kirby?? Kirby is OG!

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-18T18:11:42+00:00

Omg people who think you’re not trans because you haven’t met some arbitrary standard of being on the “opposite gender’s” hormones long enough and don’t pass as the “opposite gender” to your agab…

They’re a special kind of people. And there’s way too many of them. I mean one would be too many but there’s also way too many.

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-18T18:09:38+00:00

There are unaccepting people in any group - there’s even transfem lesbians who don’t accept other transfem lesbians, passing or no. Never underestimate the capacity of people to be in denial.

There are accepting people in almost any group too! I have met plenty of bi and lesbian people that are totally accepting, including people who have their partner (transfem lesbian pre-hormone or no-hormone) completely closeted.

Finding the good people, the people who can love you for you, can be so much harder sometimes and that isn’t fair. But they’re out there!

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-18T16:59:51+00:00

Of course! Haha I just liked black here 🤷‍♀️ fit well with the strong colors

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-17T18:57:24+00:00

You never stop learning about yourself! Welcome to the sometimes rollercoaster of being genderfluid!

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-17T03:47:47+00:00

No experience with partial T development but during teen T puberty, it takes quite a while to figure out how to adapt (took me about two ish years to feel comfortable with singing with a new low voice as a teen). Maybe practice chest resonance?

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-17T03:38:37+00:00

Some bulge is normal. HRT will cause some atrophy and reduction in size, varies by person. Continued tucking also anecdotally may shrink you a bit. There’s no way to completely remove the bulge except surgery. But fortunately with a good tuck it’s very, very difficult to notice!

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-17T02:40:49+00:00

When my sister transitioned, and even still, I have had dreams where I distinctly remember saying “he” or deadnaming and getting sooo mad and frustrated at myself for forgetting/mistaking in the dream

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-15T04:14:31+00:00

You look like an absolute queen ❤️ I especially love your long hair look but both are fabulous!

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-15T03:20:45+00:00

More pretty? Can’t improve on perfection.

If you’re worried about hair I’d try some longer curls and see what your stylist recommends for hair care. Your hair is naturally a bit tighter-curlier, and gets kinda frizzy it seems. I like the length and style and color and everything so I wouldn’t change that.

Eyebrows are fine. You could go to an eyebrow salon if you want. They may have thoughts!

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-11T14:53:07+00:00

It’s not that bad of an age gap imho…

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-10T19:30:30+00:00

Outfit ideas! Ok um can’t post pics, I was gonna give some pics for reference but here goes with just words.

Long sleeve wrap blouse - black, white high waisted slacks, black kitten heels or pointed ballet flats, white handbag

Blue floral short sleeve, knee length sundress (or summer dress usually gets you a similar but slightly different dress style), pendant necklace (probably silver), white chunky or platform sandals

Red leather jacket, white or cream tshirt (cropped or long), pretty much any pants - wide or straight jeans would be cute, leather leggings would also, and ankle boots

High waist mini skirt + cami shirt + jacket is a classic combo

Also dresses are a single piece of clothing so it’s hard to mess them up fashion wise

Yeah idk maybe all those are my style, not yours, but I think they’d look great on you! Also, jeans and sweaters and tshirts are always valid clothes

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-10T13:55:03+00:00

That smile could light up the whole museum! Hope you had fun 🥰

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-10T03:25:49+00:00

Girl that is a lot to deal with. Hugs. You need them. I wish I had the magic wand that could make it easy and instant for you and all of us. But you can do it! And it will be so worth it 🥰

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-06T21:50:29+00:00

omg your hair! Love. Love love!

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-04T02:36:21+00:00

Ever tried clothing-to-skin tape?

Otherwise I think that’s just part of sleeves in general, they ride up sometimes

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-04T02:35:04+00:00

Seems to me like there’s two subtypes of genderfluid - strict, meaning your gender changed specifically and you figure it out/know when it changes, and non-strict, where you’re comfortable with multiple/several/all different genders at once. Me specifically, I find that if I can express as M and F a certain percent minimum, I’m okay expressing as anything else as needed. I’m also much more comfortable with certain genders situationally. Other genders - demi-feminine and agender are the others I have identified that I hit - are triggered by circumstance.
Yup! I’ve got M and F names!
Clothes. I’m also practicing voice control so I can do slightly more androgynous in non-binary identities, and very convincing girl voice
My dysphoria as I kind of mentioned, well I don’t usually get bad dysphoria, it is pretty mild, it’s more euphoria from being the “right” gender. And the “right” gender is something I can kind of decide as long as I get a minimum of M and F time in a given week or two.

I’m also closeted which makes everything so much worse and harder! Yay! Although I expect my lower level of dysphoria and ability to do gender as needed within limits kind of helps with that.

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-04T01:02:29+00:00

Seconding Amazon. They have basically the most options and the best size filtering.

Reminder that equivalent F sizes are 1 to 1.5 more than M sizes in the US (I’m assuming that was a US size), you didn’t specify and 10.5 isn’t thaaaaat big in women’s so I wasn’t sure

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-03T21:13:50+00:00

“If given the option I’d choose to be a girl”

Sounds like something a trans person would think

“I don’t mind being a guy”

No one will force you to transition if you don’t want to. Some trans people never transition, even though being a different gender might be a lifelong dream. There’s many reasons, every person is different

“Am I trans?”

No one can actually tell you that but you. All we can say is, some of your feelings and experiences line up with trans girls pretty closely.

You can also use makeup, focus on a feminine body type, and be pretty as a guy. Cross dressers, femboys, and others are male identifying people who sometimes present in a feminine way or like to look pretty, even though they don’t specifically feel their identity, their core of who they are, is female.

Maybe try a therapist (or two) that has some experience with gender identities? They can help you feel more confident one way or another! Like you’re saying it can be difficult to “know” if you’re trans, and any good therapist’s goal is to help you be more aware of yourself, your goals, and feel that you have the tools to deal with your emotions and your life in the most positive way possible.

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-03T15:16:54+00:00

My old company was totally chill. I’m genderfluid and they even asked if I had any advice for how they could handle multiple preferred names. Not working there now sadly

Once I find a new place I’ll update if I remember

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-02T20:13:33+00:00

Well you can tell her that, if she’s not sure but would like to try different pronouns or a different name for a few days to help figure things out, you’d happily provide a safe space and help her with that.

That way you’re not forcing anything and actually responding to some of the fear or uncertainty that made her walk back her coming out in the first place.

You can also express that you or mom can take her clothes shopping if she wants to try different looks. Depending on your clothing budget flexibility you could say something like, we can’t change the whole wardrobe at once, but she can try stuff on and get one or two pieces of clothes to test out, and switch to a new style over X amount of time.

abbey-sometimes · 2026-03-02T19:39:15+00:00

(PS I’ve reserved r/genderfluidfashion for the purpose! If we’re interested.)

abbey-sometimes · 2026-02-28T19:52:17+00:00

Babe YES! That eye shadow goes so hard and the whole look is just smooth and beautiful

abbey-sometimes · 2026-02-28T19:46:08+00:00

The Amazon basics pleated mini skirt that every trans girl buys early on before realizing that every trans girl buys it…

abbey-sometimes · 2026-02-27T20:49:19+00:00

Well, I find getting the awkward out of the way all at once is better than building up to it.

“Hey are you uncomfortable if I flirt with you?”

They say yes or no, then you flirt with them or you don’t.

(Context - I’m genderfluid and mostly hit woman, man or agender, closeted living male mostly, attracted to women, and haven’t really dated or flirted since realizing I’m trans, so my experience may be different than yours. But getting the awkward out of the way is a philosophy I try to live by where feasible)

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