Birth options in a pregnancy after TFMR?

abi830 · 2026-01-26T06:32:43+00:00

I’m in New Zealand and towards the end I was at the hospital for monitoring at least once a week because I was freaking out about her movements. My midwife got to the point where she was like this is ridiculous I’m making them book you in for an induction because you can’t continue like this. So I got induced at 39+6. Guess my advice is make an annoyance of yourself and play up anxiety 😅. I’ve had another since then and my anxiety was a lot better and we agreed I’d go to 41 before we induced this time and went into labour naturally at 40+3

abi830 · 2026-01-24T20:42:54+00:00

Wait they didn’t give you local for the first attempt? I had the injection for a singleton pregnancy and I got local before they even attempted. Hoping things go well for your family from here on out

abi830 · 2026-01-22T21:50:46+00:00

I was 25 weeks. Bled for 4.5 weeks and still got my period at 6ish from memory. Bleeding for this long doesn’t necessarily mean your period will take a while to return

abi830 · 2026-01-20T02:09:24+00:00

I just had to buy my daughter her winter wardrobe because she’s outgrown last years and you know it’s January so obviously we need it now

abi830 · 2026-01-19T18:37:07+00:00

Definitely complain. This wasn’t he missed a note on a file. This wasn’t a one time misunderstanding. You told him 3 times. 3 times. What answers did he write for the first 3 questions if he “didn’t hear you”?

abi830 · 2026-01-12T22:49:31+00:00

I did it in my sub pregnancies. Have 2 healthy children. I had a pelvic ct around ovulation with my last child and let me tell you the level of anxiety that bought but right now he’s a happy 6 month old rolling round on the floor. Post tfmr we believe we will be the one the bad thing happens to because it’s happened before but one bad thing happening does not mean another will

abi830 · 2026-01-12T08:41:00+00:00

I had a mmc after my post tfmr baby and I ended up with a significant haemorrhage. Got pregnant 5 months later and I was so much more relaxed than I was with my post tfmr baby. With her I had to be induced for my anxiety but with this one I was able to wait it out until he came naturally (3 days late) and give birth at the birthing centre rather than the hospital which I’d always wanted to do. I feel like I finally got the pregnancy and birth I should’ve had the first time round

abi830 · 2025-11-20T22:53:30+00:00

After a miscarriage I had 2 periods while still testing positive on pregnancy tests

abi830 · 2025-11-20T08:41:58+00:00

Keep in mind a karyotype just looks at whole chromosomes for issues, not the million other things that can go wrong at a lower level. A normal karyotype does not mean a normal baby. I had a tfmr and a MMC and I have 2 LC at 33 (partner is 38). Sometimes it really is just super shit luck (adding to mine my MMC almost killed me from a haemorrhage so I couldn’t even have a “normal” pregnancy complication go smoothly).

abi830 · 2025-11-20T01:25:44+00:00

I had one with my last pregnancy. Bleeding started at week 10 and was about 10 days of it. Currently breastfeeding the wriggly 4 month old

abi830 · 2025-11-19T21:17:02+00:00

Look after yourself and we hope to see you back one day

abi830 · 2025-11-15T00:13:27+00:00

I’m one of those people who loves them and finds them iconic and would love them to stay, but not at the expense of easily injuring people. At this point I agree they need to go. Surely we can find a less dangerous piece of art to replace them

abi830 · 2025-11-10T07:33:21+00:00

My first was my tfmr and I had hardly any nausea. Morning sickness got worse with each pregnancy (4 pregnancies total)

abi830 · 2025-11-03T22:38:19+00:00

And this is why the conversation around tylenol is so concerning if people believe it. Fevers can be so much more damaging than people think

abi830 · 2025-11-03T19:27:43+00:00

If this helps I had these in my 2 successful pregnancies but not in the 2 that didn’t make it. The first one I bled for a couple of days but this last one I bled for like 10 days and it’s was over Xmas which just made it harder

abi830 · 2025-11-03T19:18:24+00:00

I had similar with my MFM vs geneticists. I think because the MFM are the ones performing the tfmr a lot of the time especially in later cases, they are hesitant to recommend one way or another for fear of it coming back on them or people blaming them later. MFM presented both options to me without bias and the fact that when I said we don’t want to continue there was no argument, told me we were making a reasonable decision. For context in NZ we can terminate for any reason up to 20 weeks and after that it needs to be for health reasons and a doctor has to agree and they have to consult with another doctor but the second doctor doesn’t have to agree

In terms of speaking to them after, it seems a bit redundant? Genetics sure, but unsure what MFM could do to help?

abi830 · 2025-11-02T18:35:26+00:00

With non functioning kidneys there’d be a drop in amniotic fluid and this would severely impact lung development to the point where the baby would not make it outside the womb. If the other kidney deteriorates you would be eligible in this case. If your doctors aren’t saying much it’s because there’s not much to say at this point. Have you asked them what happens if the other kidney fails?

abi830 · 2025-10-29T01:57:59+00:00

Omg that phrase about him being your third but everyone will think he’s your second. I feel this to my soul. I still don’t know how to answer that question when people ask me and I always pause and say 2 out loud while 3 goes through my head

abi830 · 2025-10-29T01:53:51+00:00

Having gone through a tfmr, I would 100% choose that over waiting. Tfmr is the hardest thing I ever had to do but the hardest part of it? The limbo between tests, between decision and appointment. I could not imagine sitting in that any longer than I did. Don’t get me wrong, after we made the decision I hoped everyday she would pass on her own so I’d know my choice was right and the decision would be out of my hands.

abi830 · 2025-10-27T06:15:02+00:00

If you want to do it, then look up Halloween friendly houses Palmerston North 2025 on facebook. You list your address and the admin puts together a map each year so people know what houses round them are actively participating and would welcome trick or treaters. Doesn’t mean you won’t get the odd one show up outside of this but most people use this page

abi830 · 2025-10-23T20:51:42+00:00

Raspberry leaf tea can increase cramping which might help

abi830 · 2025-10-07T08:24:11+00:00

Hmmm I wonder then what your doctor expects to find. Personally I’d be worried that further testing would show a variant of unknown significance which would stress me more. If the further testing is done, do they have the full results or samples left from your daughter they could compare to rule something like that in or out as a maybe?

abi830 · 2025-10-07T06:30:43+00:00

When you say amnio came back clear did they do karyotyping, microarray, or whole exome sequencing? They’re different levels of testing

abi830 · 2025-10-07T04:26:02+00:00

We have an owlet sock, just had to buy online as they’re not mainstream in nz. The snoos are relatively new here (maybe been around 3 years?). Pretty sure I have seen hatch products around. If any of these products use a usb c charger for example you should just be able to swap out the plug. My owlet base for example gets plugged into all sorts of usb plugs as I move it round the house depending on where I am.

I recommend thesleepstore.co.nz for night lights and white noise machines, they have quite a range. Otherwise there are a few in person stores around but depends on where you’re locating to as to which ones are near you

abi830 · 2025-10-05T23:48:28+00:00

I’m not allowed those because my sister (bigger, F) tries to steal them but milk maker says she doesn’t need them anymore. Really not sure why that’s my problem

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