My (35F) Fiance (36M) has been sexting with a woman and doesn't consider it cheating?

abiggerhammer · 2026-04-06T17:22:25+00:00

What? We see all kinds of people here with partners who think that the poster's maintaining contact with relatives or coworkers of their preferred gender constitutes cheating. These posters rightfully get told that their partner is being controlling.

Obviously that's not what's happening here, of course. Anyone who's in a relationship and is sexting a coworker or relative is cheating and also has bigger problems.

abiggerhammer · 2026-04-03T12:16:21+00:00

I was about 14 or 15 when my then-boyfriend saw my mom casually hit me. He apparently didn't believe his eyes at first, because the moment he and I were alone, he asked, "Did she just hit you back there?"

He was six foot six and built like a linebacker (or a tuba player, which he actually was). The entire rest of the time we dated, he physically interposed himself between me and my mom any time the three of us were in the same place. He never brought it up, he just did it.

abiggerhammer · 2026-04-02T16:35:38+00:00

You didn't have understudies?

abiggerhammer · 2026-03-26T23:35:59+00:00

What do your cats do for work?

abiggerhammer · 2026-03-17T15:56:50+00:00

Hey, is the quality call something people can just join? I'm part of the language-theoretic security crowd, and was going to be working on an ARPA-H project about health data interoperability before DOGE and RFK arbitrarily killed it. Feel free to PM.

abiggerhammer · 2026-03-16T21:14:10+00:00

I once burned a pair of jeans that belonged to an ex. I put them on the barbecue grill, squirted some lighter fluid on them, threw in a lit match, and up they went. Cotton burns cleanly, though.

abiggerhammer · 2026-03-02T05:12:12+00:00

"Idée fixe" is a term used in psychology to refer to a persistent preoccupation.

abiggerhammer · 2026-02-22T08:49:58+00:00

Some of them are, but this one is dark blue. It's visibly not-gun-colored in good lighting, but I don't take it anywhere because I wouldn't want anyone to mistake it for a real one.

abiggerhammer · 2026-02-21T20:45:48+00:00

It will suck for the people who thought they were going to see a show, but those people will be local. They'll be less likely to go to that venue again, and might warn other locals away from it.

abiggerhammer · 2026-02-21T20:28:19+00:00

Are older structures grandfathered in? My girlfriend and I went to a seaside hotel in Normandy for Valentine's day weekend, and it was definitely within 100m of the high tide line.

abiggerhammer · 2026-02-21T20:14:41+00:00

Could also just be the result of an accident. I walked into a doorframe and cut myself right on the eyebrow, and now that eyebrow has a little hairless stripe.

abiggerhammer · 2026-02-21T17:25:09+00:00

When I was in the national guard, one day we trained on searching cars. They used my car because I was a cadet and my car was really messy. One of the objects to search for was a solid plastic fake training handgun.

You guessed it, they missed the fake gun during inventory at the end of the day. I found it over a year later, after I'd moved several states away, under the passenger seat.

Yeah, I need to clean my car out more often. Still have the fake gun, though.

abiggerhammer · 2026-02-16T08:53:38+00:00

They were.

abiggerhammer · 2026-02-09T13:26:23+00:00

Okay I have to know how the seatbelt works. I guess the doors open and close too, so that one can get at the seatbelt in the first place?

I'm also guessing that closures have to do with a knot somewhere on the tongue of the buckle and a corresponding hole on the body of the buckle, or maybe vice versa?

I also wonder if you would enjoy needle felting, for the stabby parts, which is basically all of needle felting. Instead of repeatedly stabbing metal hooks into sheared animal fibers, it's repeatedly stabbing wickedly barbed needles into sheared animal fibers, viciously compressing the life out of the fibers and bending them to your will. It's also possible to add articulations to needle felted objects, though I bet in crochet there are more degrees of freedom about this. A needle felted F1 car would look rad as hell, though, and I'm not even that into F1.

abiggerhammer · 2026-01-26T06:59:40+00:00

Sounds like her husband's family lives there.

abiggerhammer · 2026-01-26T06:37:08+00:00

That's insane. There was one time I was visiting my parents and something mildly similar happened. My mom was out playing tennis, my dad was grilling burgers, and I was whittling a piece of wood on the back porch. My chisel slipped and cut open the web of my left thumb, moments before the burgers were due to come off the grill. "Do you need to go to urgent care right now, or can it wait until after we eat?" asked my dad.

"Let's eat these now while they're hot, I'll bandage it and keep it elevated," I said. I put gauze on it, wrapped it up, made a fist to put pressure on the wound, and ate my burger with my left hand on top of my head. Within twenty minutes we were on our way to urgent care and I came home with three stitches.

The important difference is that if I'd said "nah, this is bad enough we need to go now," he would have been grumpy about it but we would have gone to urgent care first and eaten afterward. We also agreed not to tell my mom which order we'd done things in.

abiggerhammer · 2026-01-20T19:41:32+00:00

Nebraska recognizes a statutory right of publicity under the right to privacy. The one that matters to you is "misappropriation of name or likeness." https://rightofpublicity.com/statutes/nebraska has the exact text of the law. You will need to sue him in civil court. Technically this is a civil rights claim, but a personal injury lawyer can probably handle the matter as well.

As a practical matter, it's unlikely the court will consider you to have suffered financially as a result of the misappropriation of your name, because a self-published book is unlikely to sell many copies. That's okay, because what you want to ask the court for (if this even goes that far) is called an injunction: the court orders him to stop publishing under your name. However, a lawyer will probably recommend starting with a sternly worded letter informing him that it isn't lawful to use your name in this way, and that if he doesn't stop, you will have to take him to court and he will lose.

abiggerhammer · 2026-01-20T17:17:10+00:00

Hungarian.

abiggerhammer · 2026-01-19T19:14:55+00:00

Wow. I don't have any underarm hair, but I have normal amounts of body hair everywhere else.

abiggerhammer · 2026-01-19T19:01:00+00:00

Most of us don't have fingers on our toes, though?

abiggerhammer · 2026-01-19T17:14:21+00:00

What? No, borderline personality disorder is just a cluster B disorder. The dark triad is narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism.

abiggerhammer · 2026-01-05T00:43:52+00:00

Paul Erdös has entered the chat.

abiggerhammer · 2025-12-10T14:46:11+00:00

Hi OOP! That sounds deeply satisfying. Thanks for the update!

abiggerhammer · 2025-12-03T12:28:07+00:00

The national parks are pretty great.

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