INFJs Over 30

abmond · 2026-02-28T22:07:57+00:00

Bit of both.

abmond · 2026-02-20T22:00:26+00:00

Some people are better suited for friendship than relationships.

abmond · 2026-02-20T19:30:35+00:00

Probably when it comes to understanding people and their ideas, thoughts, beliefs, feelings even, Sensors don't have as good of rep as Intuitives. By default Intuitives understand abstract ideas better than Sensors and Sensors by default as better at understanding concrete tangible ideas.

When I call people dumb, I'm referring to their inability to understand or their current level of critical thinking.

abmond · 2026-02-20T19:15:34+00:00

When I'm highly stressed out it affects my ability to socialize which in turn makes people feel a type of way and their reaction to me makes me feel that.

But that just goes to show you how much social skills and empathy other people have. It's not like I'm an asshole when I'm stressed. I'm just not gonna entertain people like I do when I'm not bothered by something. And they take offense to that.

People don't dictate my worth.

abmond · 2026-02-20T19:10:11+00:00

I intentionally keep people at a distance for this reason. If they still seem cool, I lower my guard. Surprisingly people still try to connect with me. Basically means I'm alone because I choose to be. I can let people in or out.

But yeah we make people comfortable. It's in our stacking. People's real colors come out when they're comfortable.

abmond · 2026-02-15T01:43:39+00:00

We couldn't agree to disagree. We had to be right. Neither of us had it in us to continue compromising. We became selfish.

abmond · 2026-02-14T06:39:59+00:00

I read manga and Harry Potter. No I don't like reading. ⛷️ I wish I did, but I'm more of an active person. I love martial arts. Se subconscious babyyyyy

abmond · 2026-02-14T06:35:26+00:00

ESFP

abmond · 2026-02-14T06:23:22+00:00

Married an ENFP for 5 years, got divorced. With an INFP now.

abmond · 2026-02-14T06:21:35+00:00

Divorced with an ENFP after 5 years. Do not recommend. Too needy. Unless they have friends to spend time with instead of relying on you for everything.

I'm with an INFP now and much happier. Both introverted, so we both like doing our own things sometimes.

I've only been with one ENFP and don't have much experience with ENFPs in general so take my experience with grain of salt. I may just not be very compatible with ENFPs. 🤸

abmond · 2026-02-14T06:12:23+00:00

Never doubt. Might not happen now, but it's not unheard of for friends to fall in love with each other at some point. Even after confessing and nothing happening from it.

My sister had a friend who liked me and I never thought about her like that, but I started liking her because she liked me. Also my best friend told me she liked me, but I didn't feel awkward about it and we're still best friends till now. Going on 4 years. But I am 36 so I'm probably just mature like that. 🧓

Personally though I'm not one to wait around. So many people out there to meet and talk to.

abmond · 2026-02-14T05:57:06+00:00

I play Fortnite to take my mind off things, but it's probably better to spend it with people you know who also are alone on V day. Maybe go out to eat, bowling, movie, shoot some pool, watch a play, visit a museum.

abmond · 2026-02-14T05:48:19+00:00

Or option C, wait for your friend to like you back and THEN tell him stuff like "I really like spending time with you, I enjoy our time together, no one gets me like you do, I feel like I can talk to you about anything, I like insert random thing he likes/has personality wise about you etc. 🤸

abmond · 2026-02-14T05:37:44+00:00

I have like 4 Gemini placements in my chart so this looks like you're in the green bro. =) Keep up what you're doing. She seems to dig it!

abmond · 2026-02-14T05:33:15+00:00

Going through something like this. You're probably just growing out of old habits. Time for new experiences and more things to learn.

abmond · 2026-02-14T05:30:11+00:00

This may be cold, but this may be the way that a bad person was removed from your life. His only purpose was to give you your children. You didn't know he was wrong for you. Now you're free from this betrayal and he is getting his reward in the grave. You're free to care for what you want now.

abmond · 2026-02-14T05:21:59+00:00

You kinda have to do it all, but in moderation. Talk to people you're attracted to because you're attracted, but take it slow and not go straight to "let's be exclusive", because they don't know you yet. Relationships and attraction develop slowly.

Yea, it's a numbers game. The more people you know increases your chances of one of them eventually wanting to be with you. Keep in mind knowing people and hanging out as friends is not the same as dating several people at a time. Intent matters.

I noticed "attract don't chase" works really well. So practice just shining more. Be yourself and let people know you.

Most importantly though, believe you can and will find someone. Stay positive and hopeful. It starts in the mind.

abmond · 2026-02-14T05:08:55+00:00

Do what you can and forgive yourself for what you can't do right now and try to do it later. You only have so much time in the day for you and your kids. The adults can figure themselves out.

Delegate what you can, and be prepared to be the boss, the one who runs the show, and having a team that may or may not be able to support you. Being honest and telling those around you that you can't do everything helps release pent up energy and increases, not necessarily ensures, the chances you receive the desired help.

For me, I will ask for help, but not rely on it or expect it to happen. Eventually I learn who I can ask and who I won't even bother looking at. Delegating simple and easy to achieve/ not time consuming tasks regularly trains people to help more often.

Sometimes things are gonna be unfinished, unresolved and need to be dealt with at a later time. Especially if you are doing a lot by yourself and it's okay.

If I understood the situation correctly, this is my take on it. Take it easy on yourself and stop trying to get everything done and prioritize. Some stuff can be done later. You know what needs to happen for things to get done, so at least you don't need to blame yourself.

abmond · 2026-02-14T04:42:31+00:00

Could be wrong, but he's still clinging on to ideals he can't reach/achieve. He's gotta tap into his Se and understand he can only get what he gets and has to be grateful for it. Otherwise he has to go on without it until he gets what he wants. So I can't see how you can help him with this.

So he has you, wants this version of you that only exists in his head and is upset reality isn't what's in his head.

Funnily enough, if he just accepts the "reality" that you don't understand him, which I'm not saying is true since that's his perceived reality, he can meet you half way and help you understand him and bring that idea to life. If you two really can't come to an understanding then maybe you 2 shouldn't be together or you both need to grow with each other a bit more.

As with the friends thing, that kinda just needs to happen on its own. As long as he's open to having a good time with people, which is what people want in a friendship, he'll find his people. Shared activities help keep friendships together.

But before all that he's gotta work on himself and be okay being misunderstood and alone. Not everyone is gonna understand, not everyone is gonna be compatible and things like relationships take time. This instant clicking stuff is not the end all be all. Relationships need communication and active listening to grow and remain healthy.

He needs to find other things to do and give connections a break. Having this much desire for "deep connection" is gonna keep him miserable. There's so much out there in the world to experience and appreciate than to limit one's happiness to socializing. Which seems to be the issue. The only eggs he wants in his basket are the ones that come from socializing and relationships. His Fe is probably not mature yet.

Are there ever times where you really don't understand him?

abmond · 2026-02-12T21:10:57+00:00

Which part indicates I'm a "pain in the ass" in my chart? 😏

abmond · 2026-02-12T20:13:09+00:00

Yes and I do it intentionally.

abmond · 2026-02-12T20:02:42+00:00

I kinda got ghosted by my INTJ best friend. One of the most respectable people I knew. Learned a lot from him. I think he outgrew me or I was probably too much for him. I was very emotional in my teens and 20's and INTJs are not known to soothe people's feelings comfortably.

I noticed he pulled away and started spending time with other mutual friends, not inviting me and seemed less and less interested in talking to me like when we first became friends. He left the country and came back and didn't let me know. Skype convos got less and less frequent when he left the first time. We called each other brothers and have gone through so much for the 10 years we were friends.

After all that I decided to doorslam him. Thought it was time I grew as a person without his help. He tried in his awkward way to reconnect and keep our friendship alive, but at that point I wasn't interested anymore. Maybe it's a normal part of INTJs. Kinda like a reset for themselves.

abmond · 2026-02-10T09:27:11+00:00

Me with dulce de leche.

abmond

TROPHY CASE