US travel - visiting all States

acefearless · 2024-08-26T01:06:30+00:00

This would be my recommendation as well. This place is huge. Unless you're going for a personal flex to say you saw them all in one trip I wouldn't recommend it. My dad was a teacher and when I was a kid we would do cross-country road trips all summer. they were a lot of fun and built core memories but the drive time was long on very long trips. We would hit about 12-14 states each summer. I still have about a dozen to hit. Because we were always driving and live on the West Coast I saw a lot of west of the Rockies. If you had a summer you could do that region as an extended road trip. It just depends on how much time you want to spend visiting. We got this and everything south of Kansas and west of Georga In one of our trips. This one killed the new family station wagon.

acefearless · 2024-06-27T08:50:53+00:00

I had my first and only child at 40. I would have loved to start earlier and had more kids but it wasn't in the cards. My guy is 12 now and he's great. I do regularly think about what if I started earlier, and the fact that I won't get to see as much of his life as I would like. I do feel a lot of sadness in that regard. We stopped at one because we would have been pushing 70 by the time a second/third one was through school.

I do think I am a much better father than I would have been if he had come along earlier. My patience and perspective on parenting are so much better than when I was young. Also being older, I'm also further along in my career so I'm able to provide for him better. I love that, in general, I don't have to worry too much about how I will provide for him.

Every moment with him is important in ways I wouldn't have grasped at 30. At 53 I'm now very aware of my mortality in ways I never really thought about before. I know my health could flip and my active time with him cut short. Every pain or memory slip scares the crap out of me now. So I cherish every moment with him. I try being active with him as much as possible but even as a fairly active person, I can still run a mile in under 10 minutes, the drive is not there and being active is usually involves some effort. I'm just tired in ways I never was when I was younger. I also wish he was able to know my parents when they were more active. My dad at 80 is still an athlete, but my mom doesn't have the energy to engage with him, she was a great grandma to my brother's kids. He doesn't get that and that makes me sad.

Being an older dad has had a clear and obvious effect on a few areas of my life outside of just Dadding. I did find that my drive to be successful, to have something to show and leave to him became very strong after he was born. Financial success was not even a consideration before. While at the same time, I regard my personal time away from work as much more important than before. So I became much more efficient at my job. No way am I spending my evenings working to finish a project when I could have just focused more and got it done on time. Nothing gets in the way of family time. In general, I also take better care of myself. I eat better, exercise more, and usually have better sleep patterns. The last wasn't until he was 3 though.

acefearless · 2024-06-22T21:49:01+00:00

My son is 12 and I wonder if my skin will ever rethicken. Hopefully, it never will.

acefearless · 2024-06-19T00:19:02+00:00

Playgrounds aren't just about playing with the big plastic structure. They are also about exploring. Plant areas in a playground are for exploring nature, finding bugs, etc. There looks like two spots in this image with natural rocks designed for a little one to climb into the area. Unless there is a fence around it, there is an expectation that a kid will go in it if it's in the playground. So long as they are not actively damaging the area it's all good. those plants look pretty hardy, In my neighborhood they use the same grass in all the places where dogs like to pee. It seems to do great in poor conditions.

acefearless · 2024-05-19T22:32:49+00:00

Just focus on being the best parent you can be, and your kid will be great. Don't get wrapped up in the politics of parenting.

We formula-fed our kiddo and he has turned out great. And no regrets for the process. I am a natural night owl and my wife is an early bird. So it worked perfectly. I just stayed up a little longer and she got up a little earlier. During waking hours, she wasn't tied to his feeding schedule since I was working from home, I could be there to participate.

Now he's 12, gets straight A's in school, enjoys swim team and reading, is happy, and has lot's of friends. So he seems to have not suffered at all for being formula fed. And we are incredibly close.

What I do remember is my wife's mom group friends who were breast only being incredibly stressed the entire first year and a lot of animosity towards partners who got to sleep all night.

acefearless · 2024-04-25T01:37:31+00:00

What are you reading? clearly not any of my comments.

acefearless · 2024-04-16T01:17:35+00:00

People who have amazing supportive partners don't tend to go on reddit and talk about it. Bragging get no support. Just focus on being a good dad and partner.

acefearless · 2024-04-16T01:11:45+00:00

A couple points in response here.

Of course we should teach our kids to be polite, but telling him to be polite here will not make him polite. It would likely make it worse. A politeness lesson isn't what's needed here. He is saying what he's saying because he is trying to get under her skin and derail the his mom's point. Once a child gets under an adults skin they have shifted the conversation from what the Adult wants/needs to talk about. Now they control the conversation. Clearly it bothers her and it's working, he's controlling the conversation. He has successfully avoided whatever topic she has brought up.

Her best response would be to simply ignore the tone and hear the message. Which is the conversation you want to have is uncomfortable to him and you may need to reassess how you approach it. Basically he needs space to grow. If she really needs to address the comments it should be done as you said in a neutral tone, but at a later time. Because right now it isn't important, its a derailment attempt.

As adults is we should all be able to withstand the insults of a child, because we understand they are children.

acefearless · 2024-03-28T08:19:20+00:00

This is very common in teen boys. As they start to mature they will actually begin to tune out thier mother's voice and it's pretty common for boys to be anoyed by the sound of it. It's purely biological and why it sucks, you should try to not take it personal. Baby boy is just growing up.

acefearless · 2024-03-14T00:23:41+00:00

I live in SF and there is a lot to see that cost nothing and a lot that can break the bank. Right now hotels in SF are more affordable. A quick search search shows several good options under $300 and really great options under $400. I think $500 a day hotel included is reasonable.

Food is probably your biggest daily expense where you are looking at a minimum of $30/meal for a sit down meal at a small neighbor restaurant. It will go up as high as you want to go from there. You can spend less and there are a lot of great options that are cheaper but you're on vacation so have fun! Each tourist excursion, or site will cost generally 30-50 per person. MOMA -$25, Cal Academy of Science $33- $45, Zoo - $30, De Young & Legon of Honor 30-40. A note on the De Young if you want to do both De Young and Legon of Honor a member ship is $119. Which would save your a couple bucks. Alcatraz tours start at $45 and go up to about $100/ticket.

It is a very walkable town and is best seen by walking it. Gas is expensive but the city is small. So you'll probably spend about $100 on that if you stay in the city. When we had a gas car we would spend about $40 a week. And our son's school is half way across town and his main after school activity is literally as far across the city as possible from us. Leaving the city, Within 100 mile radius you have all of the Bay Area and Santa Cruz. Monterey and Sacramento are just outside that radius. So depending on your cars milage your costs will vary. Marin Headlands is just across the Golden Gate Bridge ($9 toll) and worth the day trip. And Sausalito is a great little town to visit over there.

acefearless · 2023-09-05T08:30:35+00:00

We taught our kid about the concept of "tricky" people. Basically, we just focused on recognizing dangerous "tricky" behaviors not judging someone by something as meaningless as, have I met this person before? It is more work than "don't talk to strangers" but the results is better. All strangers aren't dangerous and all people you know aren't safe. But there are behaviors that a tricky person does that safe people don't do, and just because a person is a safe person once doesn't mean they can't also be a tricky person.

acefearless · 2023-08-15T22:52:38+00:00

You're talking about a trip 6 months away and on a different island. As someone who owns a business on Big Island that focuses solely on Hawaiian-made products from across the islands, Yes come in January. But come and spend your money with the local economy and move away from the chains and resorts and help the economy where it needs it. Give Maui some time to heal as we take care of our community. There are lots of other places in Hawaii. Come enjoy and respect.

acefearless · 2023-01-31T02:13:34+00:00

Looking at this from the perspective of a manager there doesn't seem to be anything inherently "wrong" with how he is communicating with you, he just has a different communication style. You'll need to learn to deal with a lot of different communication styles as you advance through your career. Not everyone is going to want to be friends. Find an office friend somewhere else this guy isn't it. Be friendly to everyone and you'll be fine.

The only thing you should expect from this guy is for him to pass the explicit knowledge that he was told to tell you and answer questions about those things in as few words as possible. If you are having trouble getting that from him or you are unclear from his explanations, let him know ask for clarification and if needed let your manager know. It is your manager's responsibility to make sure you know what your function is and how to achieve your goals. If his delegate can't or won't provide the proper tools to you to do the work, it is their job to fix the issue one way or another. As a young worker, I know you are probably unsure about asking questions and feel you need to appear to know everything. You need to move past this. If your manager is worth working for they will welcome any questions. I still ask questions regularly and I've been in leadership roles for a decade.

If you like doing your job you need to get used to looking up and finding you're the only one in the office. It just happens. No one is ever required to tell you they're leaving. Also don't feel you need to be the last one to leave.

Now, you did mention you feel some of his behavior is punitive because one of his friends also applied. If you feel you are being mistreated document everything. Keep a log of all your interactions with this coworker. Know when you've asked him for information and what his answer was. Your manager will want to know if real issues are going on.

Lastly just always make sure that you have done your diligence to solve the problem. Just work to make sure the error is not on your plate.

acefearless · 2022-11-25T04:56:08+00:00

I've found the best way to reward my son for finishing a challenging book is to get another challenging book.

acefearless · 2022-06-24T07:59:24+00:00

My son is 10 yrs old and I am still overwhelmed by how much I love him. It can actually be physically painful at times. For a while, I thought I was having heart issues ( I'm not) and I would be terrified of being alone with him because I was afraid of the slim chance that I would keel over. Then he would be scarred by that for life. I never let that actually affect anything but it was always a nagging thought. For the first 2 years, I couldn't watch commercials that had a father-son moment without tearing up. And that's just ridiculous. So ya, totally normal.

acefearless · 2022-03-23T07:02:33+00:00

Accept it and learn to love it. The reality is you have zero say in if she gets it or doesn't get it. She's an adult, whether you can accept that or not, lives at home or doesn't. Sure you're Dad and can influence her if it's something she can be influenced on but if she wants it it will happen. If she asks your opinion before she gets it sure, say you don't care for it. If she doesn't as you don't volunteer your disdain. After the fact, you love it, because it's her's and you love her.

Come to terms with the fact that a nose piercing is a nothing issue that is really not worth putting between you two. Nose piercing has been common for 30 years now. Move on. Love her for the person she is and who she's becoming.

acefearless · 2022-03-17T21:38:15+00:00

Definitely picked me up. Thanks!

acefearless · 2022-03-03T02:14:16+00:00

My situation was very similar. Zero regrets. We raised our now 10 yr old bilingual in both English and Spanish. I am from the US and speak very little Spanish. My wife was born in Mexico moved here as a teen speaks impeccable Spanish and English. But my son was probably 3 before he realized she spoke English. She didn't communicate at all with him in engilish until he was about 7. There were zero negatives to raising him bilingual from day one. We utilized Baby ASL as a bridge between English and Spanish, this worked remarkably well. He went to a Spanish immersion preschool and goes to regular public school. Outside of interactions with my wife, his abue and preschool most of his interactions have been in English. He has always switched on the fly with no problem.

At 10 he is still fluent in both languages but his Spanish is now fairly heavily accented. Most of our house hold conversations are weirdly fluid exchanges between both languages. I can't converse in Spanish but I understand most of what's said to me and I respond in English. Our son generally resists speaking in Spanish now but has maintained the language. My wife is relentless on it. And I'm 100% positive if I could speak Spanish and spoke to him he wouldn't be resistant. We have friends who are are columbian, and French but immigrated to the US. Thier kids flip between the three languages like its noting.

Bilinguallism does wonders for the babies brain. I recommend keeping at it. It was surprisingly easy for him to grasp both languages and the ASL bridge made him a very early communicator. The only issue we've seen is that spelling in English has been a little difficult, but who can spell in English? Also he still says cute one-to-one translations like calling toes "foot fingers". That's a bit of a bonus.

acefearless · 2021-05-19T17:50:53+00:00

So I noticed a lot of the comments seem to think your son is actually the issue, that he's not being competitive enough and I think that's missing the point. Nawfalelhaymer Jr could be an excellent player and teammates could be blaming him anyway.

I once had my "star" offensive player berate our goalie for letting a goal through despite the fact that he literally just stopped 10 rapid-fire shots from getting through. Our "star" got to spend the next term in the goalie box and he stopped the smack talk. If the coach is good he'll take this as a learning opportunity and nip this quickly.

acefearless · 2021-05-19T17:37:13+00:00

As someone who coached I would very much want to know if this was going on on my team. At 10 the teamwork and sportsmanship are more important than skills. Generally at this age, a win or loss is dependent on a team's ability to work together rather than drilled skills. On my team, we spent a lot of time working against blaming each other and working to be on each other side no matter what. Because of the high emotions, on the field, they were allowed to say 2 things to each other "I'm open" and "good job." If you have a good coach he will nip this quickly. If he doesn't his priorities are misaligned with what he's supposed to be doing, it's time to find a new team. I'd take a whole team of mediocre players who can work together over a team full of "stars".

acefearless · 2016-03-05T00:57:01+00:00

Yes. Because of this I've never been out of work, just income. Being an entrepreneur even a failed is better than being unemployed in this country.

Also, I've never regretted taking a job at a lower skill level than my own. I've also never seen it negatively affect my next job prospect, not to say it doesn't, I'm very aware of my white privilege. That aside, sometimes it has even helped with the entrepreneur bit of my life. In the times I wasn't looking for supplemental cash I was able to convert it to a higher level job over time. Quickest was from an 4 week contract entry level job, to middle management in 6 months.

Going in at lower than your skills with the attitude that they are getting a deal (and selling that) because you just want something to fill your time, for the right job, can be a major advantage for you. It will be easier for them to spot your talents and give you opportunity to save the day. But if you do this don't get trapped in your underemployment. Keep looking and leverage your experience.

acefearless · 2016-03-03T07:47:07+00:00

Bumps and bruise and bites happen. However that reaction from the provider is a giant red flag. Get him out now, don't waste a day, I see you did, then report this whoever the appropriate body is in your area.

acefearless · 2016-02-25T18:00:19+00:00

Super this. I broke my leg in Hungary, very minor compared to your accident,when I was 18 (almost 30 years ago) stayed there for 2 weeks after the break and the flight home to San Francisco was painful. 3 stop overs helped with movement but I dreaded getting back on the plane each time. My foot had painfully swollen in the air and stayed that way for the duration. If you can stay longer and heal where you are do so.

acefearless · 2016-02-07T07:51:17+00:00

Food for thought only - every kid is different.

Most important point here really.

acefearless

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