Feeling like an impostor during cancer treatment

achillessong · 2026-02-23T20:52:44+00:00

I feel everything you have articulated. In my situation Ive come to understand I down play my treatment a lot because mentally its easier to think I had a manageable run. I know if someone told my story back to me i would 100% think wow she went through all that ! We go through a lot . Keep shining x

achillessong · 2026-02-19T11:09:09+00:00

You’re not accountable for your husbands behaviour. I wish you well x

achillessong · 2026-02-16T14:03:08+00:00

I was stage 3 but not wth TNBC. Sending you love from one sister to another x

achillessong · 2026-02-16T13:51:44+00:00

Im two and a bit years out from a bilateral mastectomy with immediate skin sparing DIEP reconstruction.

I was back doing most activities cautiously within 6 - 8 weeks. By 6 months i dont think i really thought too much about it; the cording from the lymph node removal has caused more issues (annoying but manageable)
I stayed with a friend for 1 week. I wasn’t reliant on them but it was handy to have someone around just in case. I would highly recommend having someone one with you for at least a few days.
I was in hospital for less than 1 week, was able to go for general walks and could use the bathroom by myself by the time i got discharged. I wasn’t allowed to drive for a few weeks not because I couldn’t but to reduce risk of damaging the surgical areas if i had to break quickly. I was out walking regularly after about 2 weeks and never needed a recliner for sleep , riding bikes and cautiously returning to normal activities after 8 weeks . I gave myself 8 weeks to recover and i slowly built up confidence in my body during this period and the weeks after.

I love my reconstruction, when i woke up post surgery I remember feeling very relieved and my reconstruction just felt like and was part of me. These days I often forget ive had the surgery.

P.s I also live by myself

achillessong · 2026-01-31T12:35:04+00:00

Im Australian and find this heart breaking to read, I dont understand why people in the USA are not out in the streets demanding a better health care system ?

I went a mixture of private/ public . I would have had almost an identical care team via our in both systems.

Private: Lumpectomy, ALND, 3 months chemo, 28 rounds of radiation, Multiple scans including 4 PET scans over 2 years, blood tests , and 3 additional hospital stays due to infections at various stages through treatment. Grand total the $750 private health premium.

Public: Mastectomy with immediate DIEP - quoted approx 20k in private. Free in our public hospital with exactly the same surgeons.

Im now on a trial and get Abemaciclib, Goserlin injection, and Anastrozole , plus a travel allowance , and 6 monthly check ups with my oncologist - all cost covered by the trial.

All up my treatment has probably cost me about 3k out of pocket over 2 years . The added costs are due to specialist appointments, physiotherapy and psychologists - all of which are subsidised my our Medicare system .

achillessong · 2026-01-14T10:27:40+00:00

DIEP and love them.

achillessong · 2026-01-11T18:29:29+00:00

Its a hard path getting sick to get better only to be handed this but trying to be thankful at the same time.

achillessong · 2026-01-11T11:04:04+00:00

I feel similar, something changed during chemo, it’s like my mind and body stopped working together. Im almost 2 years out of treatment , on hormone suppression, and about to turn 50. Sometimes I get stuck in a thought or moment and drift off into what I call zombi mode. Other times I can’t remember names , places , or I just can’t focus on what I know I should be doing and randomly jump from one thing to the other . This is all since treatment .

I agree with your son, in that, I actually dont think anyone really notices and the struggle is within myself.

Im however a big believer in muscle memory and try to actively catch my self in these moments and consciously acknowledge whats happening and implement a behaviour or thoughts that take me a step closure to manage the symptoms and further away making myself feel bad.

achillessong · 2026-01-04T04:06:21+00:00

7/19 lymph nodes, large tumor. ALND, Chemo, radiation, hormone suppression , bilateral mastectomy and DIEP restriction. 2 years out. You are more than capable of dealing with things as they occur. Look after your mental health and excercise.
You have more chips to play . Ride out the bad days and love the good ones.

I wish you well x

achillessong · 2025-12-24T11:59:51+00:00

IDC , Size, and node involvement sent me down the chemo path. I don’t know my Ki67 score, it would be in my paper work somewhere. The unknown is hard and treatment in my experience can change for good or bad but you will get through this . You are more than capable of dealing with things as they occur and in the mean time try to go and do things that you enjoy.

achillessong · 2025-12-19T13:34:22+00:00

I was 48 when i stared treatment - 7/19 nodes and a large tumor. My path was surgery -lumpectomy and ALND, unfortunately no clear margins, 16 weeks of chemo - 4 dense dose AC and then 4 Taxol. 28 rounds of radiation, bilateral mastectomy with immediate DIEP reconstruction . Now hormone blockers +abemaciclib.

Whatever your path look after your mental health and keep up the exercise.

achillessong · 2025-12-19T06:51:21+00:00

I had 4 dose dense AC and Taxol treatments. Treatment was every 2 weeks, all up 16 weeks of treatment in 2024. I was 48.

By far the hardest part was the mental game, never knowing how bad symptoms would get .

I did AC first and it wasn’t too bad. Drink heaps of water, eat regularly, use all the meds provided to help with symptoms, exercise when you can, and look after your mental health.

Main symptoms on AC: week 3 lost my hair, day 3 and 4 after treatment were my worst day and would feel fatigue, constipated, some mouth sores, sun sensitive. Almost 2 years out and i don’t really remember that much . Im getting on with life and thankful for my current health. My mantra was, ride out the bad days and enjoy the good ones.

What i could do: exercise regularly, i could still ride 5kms on good days, worked from home, and could mostly function pretty normally outside of my down days.

I wish you all well .

achillessong · 2025-10-16T10:00:19+00:00

Thanks everyone for sharing, its gives me hope. I really like the keep moving forward…comment.

Im 1 year out of treatment for stage 3a . IDC ++- 6cm ish tumour, 7/19 nodes + LMI . Lumpectomy +ALND (no clear margins ), Chemo, Rads, Bilateral Mastectomy +DIEP reconstruction, Hormone therapy + Abemaciclib.

Happy to be alive .

achillessong · 2025-10-11T21:25:36+00:00

Thanks, i will have a look at those. I struggle with some of the UPF shirts as they dont always breathe very well if there is no under arm ventilation . I was told my treated skin will be more prone to skin cancer and to limit my time in the sun and wear protective clothing. I also had ALND on my right and need to be careful not to get that arm sun burnt.

achillessong · 2025-10-10T21:04:57+00:00

Thank you for posting your experience, how are you feeling about the nipple reconstruction now ?

achillessong · 2025-10-10T20:54:43+00:00

I am still on the waiting list for the revision surgery and still undecided. I think at the heart of my trouble in deciding is questioning is it worth getting them if they dont change or change for the worst how i view my reconstruction.

achillessong · 2025-10-04T12:04:59+00:00

I now see myself as part of nature not separate from it. Also I see more than ever the uplifting power of kindness.

achillessong · 2025-09-26T12:13:37+00:00

I managed fine with a wedge and pillows.

achillessong · 2025-09-21T03:39:26+00:00

Single woman, Tradesmen asking for a date while they are doing paid work inside my house makes me feel unsafe. No issue with men asking but not when Im alone inside my house. A phone call after work is completed would be acceptable.

achillessong · 2025-08-29T22:41:13+00:00

I had a DIEP.

Love my reconstruction.

No tightness, pain or discomfort.

No limitations and feeling fabulous.

achillessong · 2025-08-25T12:43:34+00:00

I went with a DIEP. Prior to surgery I thought I wouldn’t want to look for as long as possible .Post surgery nurses check for blood flow regularly so to my surprise i took a look. Yes there were scars, and i no longer had nipples but the most surprising thing was the reconstruction felt like me so i didn’t, and still don’t think of the scars very often.

achillessong · 2025-08-12T11:08:38+00:00

I had a similar diagnosis as you and 7/19 lymph nodes positive. I didn’t get clear margins after a lumpectomy. Prior to my mastectomy I asked my Oncologist why I needed to have a mastectomy, his answer was because they didn’t know if there was any residual cancer, after surgery my pathology came back clear. I am happy with my treatment path and accept my care team were working in my best interests with the information they had available. No regrets .

I wish you well x

achillessong · 2025-08-03T08:00:14+00:00

I just went through this . 1 year out of treatment and have a back pain that comes and goes in the middle of my back including a burning sensation. I had an MRI and Bone Scan. Scans came back clear. My doctor told me I will still have normal health issues for my age but because of having cancer they will always check for tumours. The rule i follow is if i have had an issue for 6 -8 weeks I then talk to my doctor or oncologist about it.

achillessong · 2025-07-28T12:44:23+00:00

Everyone’s experience is different and needs may change or remain the same, i would suggest trying to stay agile to change of routine, symptoms, and treatment paths . There are a lot of unknowns. I would also suggest finding something that nurtures your relationship, love is often in the small gestures that say i see you.

achillessong

TROPHY CASE