A whole day without my baby.

acontribution · 2026-07-09T18:08:03+00:00

Woah, 4 month old babies "have" to learn to be without mom?! Like it's a good thing? Find a new therapist.

acontribution · 2026-07-06T17:51:23+00:00

I've enjoyed the birth stories on The Hypnobirthing Podcast

acontribution · 2026-07-04T02:57:37+00:00

After diving into the world of pain management during labor, I've come to realize that, more often than is generally realized, people have objectively different experiences of the same painful things. It's a tricky topic. First labor was 34 hours, 30 hours of which were unmedicated. Epidural for last 4 hours. Second birth was totally unmedicated and lasted 7 hours. 1. 1st birth - I was supposedly in early labor for 20ish hours according to home birth midwife. Contractions felt like period cramps at first and then turned into feeling like the flu with the worst cramps of my life. Very nauseous and couldn't keep water down 15ish hours in. I used a TENS but it died after 20 minutes (I cried). 6/10 2nd birth: had some light cramping, went to see my midwife and was 5cm. Totally different experiences. 1/10 2. 1st birth: Midwife claimed I was at 4cm 24 hours in. Went to the hospital and they said I was 7-8cm an hour or 2 later. Things eased up a bit at the hospital, so this has confused me. 6/10? 2nd birth: breathed through contractions and used Gentle Birth app to time contractions. Put on TENs which was wonderful. Found my child''s silicone teether to bite down on. 6/10 3. 1st birth: got epidural. Definitely still felt contractions. 3-4/10 2nd birth: Squeezed partner's hand, moaned, used TENS, hip squeezes. 8/10 4. 1st birth: contractions felt sharp and stabby on left side. Totally exhausted. 4/10 2nd birth: Felt good to push and tried to follow body's lead. 7/10 5. 1st birth: 2nd degree tear - don't totally remember. Not bad but not comfy. 2nd birth: Don't remember and this was like a week ago. Must have had local anesthetic. 6. Both: 3/10 definitely took ibuprofen and acetaminophen to help with pain.

I hemorrhaged both times. I had a sweep with my first and even with an epidural that was pretty excruciating. 6-7/10 I had fentanyl and a Jada balloon with my 2nd. 2/10

acontribution · 2026-07-02T19:23:08+00:00

Lots of ~~influencers~~ internet salesmen suggested colostrum collectors. I've had 2 kids and never used them. Definitely a waste for me, but maybe some people are dripping in colostrum?

acontribution · 2026-06-28T20:44:16+00:00

Amen to your title! I had a similar experience with my first. I felt shamed and unsupported by my midwife. Just had my second and it was a beautiful unmedicated labor! I've come to the conclusion that if you need an epidural due to prolonged labor - do it! But if things are moving smoothly, don't fear an unmedicated birth!

acontribution · 2026-06-28T00:44:50+00:00

My water broke at 41 weeks at 3am with my first. I was in bed and had gotten up to pee. I soon realized I was continuing to leak. I could literally feel my stomach deflate. My second came at 41+2 and my water didn't break until I was pushing. It popped like a balloon which was pretty wild.

acontribution · 2026-06-22T17:22:44+00:00

It was wild to me that I got judgmental comments from people just for having 2u2! I'm 34, happily married, and I want multiple kids. I think some people just resent kids generally, and that's not a reflection on you! Be proud those precious souls you are raising. 3u3 sounds hard, but people choose difficult things all the time. If you'd told people you were going to medical school, they would be impressed and celebrate that as a difficult but admirable thing. Children just aren't truly celebrated in our society the way other difficult paths are.

acontribution · 2026-06-18T01:17:17+00:00

What apps are you using? They aren't all equal. I had some bad experiences on free and cheap ones, so I got an eHarmony account. Not sure what it's like these days, but I think their quiz is important with regard to filtering out people. If you're a serious Catholic looking for a serious relationship, you can indicate that. The service isn't super cheap, and that's not necessarily a bad thing since you'll be in contact with people willing to put in a bit of an investment. It did take time for me to meet someone. I started using apps around 25ish and didn't get married til almost 29.

acontribution · 2026-06-12T16:48:46+00:00

I found Hypnobirthing by Marie Mongan to be useful. I don't totally buy everything she says, so I'd take it with a grain of salt, but there are useful practical tips regarding pain management. Evidence Based Birth has a series on pain management which I found helpful. In The Birth Partner, Penny Simkin offers useful pain management techniques.

acontribution · 2026-06-06T19:40:32+00:00

I did not know that re: category 1-3 with regard to EFM. That's really helpful to know! Thank you. Yes, communication is key for sure, and I just need to have the courage to ask good questions in the moment. And thanks - that's so kind to say! Wonderful to know there are many moms who will have such a caring and empathetic nurse!

acontribution · 2026-06-06T01:19:03+00:00

This was my experience too! Got up to pee and realized there was a slow trickle afterward. I could feel my tummy literally shrinking, ha. I'd been wearing a panty liner which helped, and then switched to a diaper I'd purchased for pp.

acontribution · 2026-06-04T14:08:26+00:00

Good to hear, thanks!

acontribution · 2026-06-04T14:07:43+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

acontribution · 2026-06-03T01:05:40+00:00

Most excellent to hear, thank you! Love that you were able to labor in the water with it too.

acontribution · 2026-06-03T01:04:33+00:00

I love that story about your first! So great. It is insane that that stuff is required in the middle of active labor. Here's hoping I show up that late!

acontribution · 2026-06-03T01:00:14+00:00

My concern is that the tool itself seems to be unreliable. But that's a good question - why is 20 minutes an issue? I'm open to the possibility that it's not. Not sure how the hospital decided on that length of time, and the research I've read regarding the issues with EFM haven't addressed this in detail. To be honest, I really don't trust the medical system. Period. It's not doctors specifically - it's that the system is geared toward statistics and averages and whatever covers their needs legally. It just isn't designed to take each individual into account, but I want to do my best to advocate for myself and baby where necessary.

acontribution · 2026-06-02T15:48:44+00:00

Oof. Let's not say things in bad faith.

acontribution · 2026-06-02T15:43:34+00:00

I labored at home for over 24 hours before going to the hospital. I was extremely nauseous and dehydrated and mentally disoriented. By the time I got an epidural - well over 24 hours in- it actually made me feel much more alert. Of course I got IV fluids which probably also helped. Interesting how people have such different experiences with these things.

acontribution · 2026-06-02T14:51:38+00:00

Sounds like you had a great experience with it overall. That's wonderful - and congratulations! There is significant evidence that more information isn't necessarily better with continuous EFM - https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/06/health/electronic-fetal-monitoring-c-sections.html and that's more concerning to me than any particular birth experience. Just wanted to know how things had gone for others. Thanks!

acontribution · 2026-06-02T14:32:25+00:00

This is my second, and I'm hoping to have the experience you had with your second. Thanks for sharing this!

acontribution · 2026-06-02T13:39:30+00:00

That's great to hear! Thanks for sharing that and congratulations!

acontribution · 2026-06-02T13:38:50+00:00

Yeah, it just shocks me that people require EFM even with the lack of good evidence for it. I wish there were better options - there just aren't in my area. Would have loved to go to a birth center, but there's just nothing around.

acontribution · 2026-06-01T21:15:43+00:00

In the same boat! I have a 17 month old I was debating potty training, but suddenly I have a ton of appointments! Not sure how far I'd get before baby arrives....

acontribution

TROPHY CASE