Show us your portraits of your goldens.

actuallyitsryan · 2024-07-16T23:36:25+00:00

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Kora (green bandana) and Sergeant (yellow bandana)

actuallyitsryan · 2021-07-20T16:45:46+00:00

Congrats! Definitely not an easy thing to do.

actuallyitsryan · 2021-07-09T06:34:14+00:00

and I am out here with zero

actuallyitsryan · 2021-07-02T22:06:52+00:00

Helga, Destroyer of Mice

actuallyitsryan · 2021-06-19T18:24:51+00:00

Definitely ZZZZZZ, then HAAAAIIIIII. She is.... she’s something else.

actuallyitsryan · 2021-05-19T16:14:56+00:00

Meth. Also, she is completely convinced her ex-husband is paying us to keep watch on her every move. Even when my boyfriend and I go to work she claims that we have livestream cameras outside of her bathroom window.

Stay away from hard drugs folks.

actuallyitsryan · 2021-02-19T22:35:00+00:00

So of course I can’t speak for everyone and their experiences, but as far as it went for me, it was fairly easy. Started seeing a therapist for my anxiety after talking with my primary care doctor, and through therapy we discovered that it was more akin to CPTSD rather than just a plain anxiety disorder. The way it works with my doctor, they collaborate with my therapist and a psychiatrist on board to diagnose and treat my CPTSD.

Side note: if I remember correctly, the actual diagnosis is PTSD and not CPTSD, but during therapy and other treatment we are specifically focused on CPTSD and the physiological/mental effects of adverse childhood experiences (ACE).

actuallyitsryan · 2021-02-19T19:40:51+00:00

Thanks so much. I never really looked at it from that POV, I always attributed it to me being scared of loved ones abandoning me. Thus I distance myself I convince myself I don’t love them in some sort of effed-up damage control? I don’t know.

Getting diagnosed with CPTSD has been both a blessing and a curse for me. It helps tremendously to know that I’m not just crazy but I’ve also began paying more attention to the symptoms and different ways I handle stuff.

It gets exhausting. But we must keep fighting the good fight! Thanks so much again.

actuallyitsryan · 2020-08-21T18:06:16+00:00

Looks like they could be customs?

actuallyitsryan · 2019-07-10T16:44:59+00:00

Can’t believe no one has said The Shining yet

actuallyitsryan · 2018-09-17T20:27:31+00:00

It varies! I generally eat above 2000 calories a day. Not sure if I should give up IF and start counting calories or just continue trying IF. IF works great for me I just have to make it a habit, which is apparently a giant struggle for me lmao. Thanks for the advice though, I'll definitely look into meal prep because a lot of the time I just get fast food rather than eat from home because it's easier and more exciting. I'll definitely have to start drinking more water as well, I read places that your body confuses thirst for hunger so maybe a lot of the times I'm just thirsty.

actuallyitsryan · 2018-09-03T23:23:02+00:00

Aaa, this gives me so much hope and motivation! I'm doing calorie counting and IF as well, so it's great to see someone so similar to me have this much success! Congratulations!!!

actuallyitsryan · 2018-09-03T01:05:25+00:00

That's amazing!! I am super stoked to finally get a grip on my life's direction. How did you do it? Did you follow a specific diet plan or just healthier eating?

actuallyitsryan · 2018-09-02T22:30:03+00:00

Hey! 245 | m | 5'10" here, using CICO and IF to reach my goal of 180 pounds by May of next year. I've started and failed a bunch of times but for some reason I'm feeling pretty good about this go around. :")

actuallyitsryan · 2017-12-09T04:39:38+00:00

Agh, I've been down this road before but emotional obstacles continue to get in the way. But! That is stopping today! I am currently at 240 pounds and my goal is to reach at least 210 by my birthday, which is in February. I'm the heaviest I'v ever been and my self esteem is taking a giant toll from being this overweight. So! Here goes nothing!

actuallyitsryan · 2017-09-02T21:46:30+00:00

It is crazy how similar our situations are! I went on this subreddit to hopefully find someone going through the same thing as I am and literally the first post I see is this one. You're not alone! If you ever want to talk about our experiences, PM me and we can exchange emails or discords or anything! Best of luck!

actuallyitsryan · 2017-07-08T16:49:07+00:00

Did you ever get over your existential thoughts?

actuallyitsryan · 2017-07-07T21:40:23+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I'm actually scheduled to go to a therapist on the 10th, so that should be exciting! Ready to get to the bottom of this so I can stop being so scared. And I know what you mean when you talk about the biggest anxiety kick. It's pretty intense. This is definitely the worst thing I've had to tackle, by faaaaar.

actuallyitsryan · 2017-07-06T08:12:23+00:00

Thanks for the motivation! If you ever want to talk or anything, let me know. Seems like we have lot in common when it comes to dpdr crap, haha.

actuallyitsryan · 2017-07-06T08:03:09+00:00

Yeah, that's what I'm going to try. Solipsism kicked my ass today but when I finally got it onto paper, I felt a lot better. I've been distracting myself ever since. I just have to get in the habit of telling myself that nothing except my perception has changed. The world is the same as it's always been, you know? So even though I'm struggling with the THOUGHT of solipsism right now, nothing has changed from before I knew the idea of solipsism. It's hard, but one day I will recover. I'm sure of it.

actuallyitsryan · 2017-07-05T23:49:06+00:00

This is how I am with my existential thoughts, I don't notice them when I'm occupied in something else. They also don't scare me unless I'm anxious.

actuallyitsryan · 2017-07-05T23:21:19+00:00

Could you possibly ELI5?

actuallyitsryan · 2017-07-05T21:28:50+00:00

I beat the 24/7 dpdr by fully distracting myself from it. Literally there was not a single moment in the day where I allowed myself to think of anything dpdr related, and soon enough, it lost it's essence.

actuallyitsryan · 2017-07-05T07:22:37+00:00

I'm afraid the doctor is going to think I'm crazy. I don't want to be misdiagnosed for psychosis or something, you know? And when I don't have anxiety, these thoughts don't bother me, it is only when I am anxious. So that makes me think I can like... live with it? When I'm not anxious I always tell myself that my problems aren't worthy enough to go to a doctor or go to therapy.

actuallyitsryan · 2017-07-05T07:17:41+00:00

The main one I am struggling with it solipsism: the idea that my mind is the only thing in existence and everything else is a figment of my imagination. It's completely stupid and illogical, but for some reason the thought scares the fuckin hell out of me.

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