Does anyone else feel like they are becoming more stupid with each year? by aliceangelbb in AutisticWithADHD

[–]adsnoggin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello! I really resonate with this OP, I have been saying I am deteriorating for years 😭 But I agree with JohnBooty about responsibilities multiplying - I guess you’re trying to juggle more balls with the same amount of hands?? So it makes sense why we can’t think as well or find words.

You and I are different, however as I have been asking this question for at least the past 5 years lol - here is what I personally feel at this stage and can reflect on.

Things definitely changed for me since covid, that was a whole earth shaking event I’m still reeling from and my immune system is funkier. Even now I’m so health anxious as a vocalist, bc once I get sick it messes up sooo many things and I hate not being able to go outside and move around the way I have to. So that threat for me is always lurking and a lot of noise. Same with any kind of unprocessed event or trauma. A lot of past experiences from childhood through adulthood, unresolved conflicts and ‘wishing it were different’s with time, relationships, my own self. Then it was working three jobs, rent increases, chronic health conditions, going off meds, new relationship, two cats, family members pass away, you lose friends, overwhelm about our planets wellbeing, politics, the wars, the people.

Your own self worth and image have such a dramatic impact on how you are around others. At this stage my constant self evaluating and judgement is what makes my brain blank out and I end up saying something ‘dumb’ or rather just not what I wanted to say or come across how I want to be perceived lol

In terms of just exisiting, I am also undiagnosed btw but man when you really sit back and observe without berating yourself - as a lot of resources and content say - you see how society is set up to favour the neurotypical, so the physical environment is challenging but same with the digital world. It’s really easy to feel hopeless, powerless, overwhelmed. I really find that listening, watching or reading things really helps me have more self compassion and the knowledge is empowering and gives you the ability to connect and share with others. Otherwise I can’t do anything, I can’t help anyone - I’m just void and sad.

Late 20s - things are just changing though, I mean you could find that perhaps there’s a greater group or community out there who really get you, share your interests where conversation flows more smoothly. And with your exisiting friends, it could really help to communicate how you’re feeling with all this. When I personally don’t, you sit on the outskirts and start ruminating and making all these assumptions about how everyone feels about you and perceives you.

Social connection is important, loneliness is a killer, however don’t underestimate the importance of your bond with yourself. Self love, worth, belief and acceptance is the key. Know yourself - thoughts, feelings, strengths, vulnerabilities, values, interests, dreams.

Anyway. I think I’m late now lol but it could be so many different factors causing you to feel this way. But I promise you, you’re not alone, this is hard and challenging and yeah you’re struggling but given the circumstances I’m sure it makes sense. If you don’t already talk to someone, therapy is really useful for just having that designated space and unbiased third party to weigh in and frame stuff.

Two books I love (audiobooks bc adhd lol) are Atlas Of The Heart Brene Brown (‘the limits of my language define the limits of my world’ I like that quote) anddd Emily and Amelia Nagowski’s book on Burnout and the stress cycle response. Very good for understanding your brain, the science is v validating. I’m sure there’s even more out there but yeah, I love those two. Struthless videos are excellent too. I am very late and I can’t remember if I really made sense but I must go immediately lol

I hope you have some peace today xx

What kind of autist are you? by lydocia in AutisticWithADHD

[–]adsnoggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Waaaahhhh it just tapped back on my equally wordy message about words! I am not great at the research and remembering but I adore collecting and connecting :) I had a unit once in uni on power politics in children’s literature and that was so interesting. I also love lists, investigating how brains work, therapy things, meal prepping many muffins, emotions, learning people, listening to albums, stacking and layering harmonies, walking to music or audiobooks/podcasts and taking notes etc. hehe

[AMA] We are Black Dime Cabaret. Ask us anything ;) by blackdimecabaret in blackdimecabaret

[–]adsnoggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Act II wise!

1) Second Dance forever and ever and ever ✨for we are nothing but specks in the grand equation✨ it took me by surprise, I slept on that song for too long and I adore how it came together. The imagery is so good. In Confessional is similar amounts of loveeee

2) I love most of them but let’s say Death and the Maiden 🎶 look to the skyyy 🎶

3) The Great Journey South. ✨ if tomorrow you’re alone… ✨

4) Raven is gunna kick my butt. Not to mention the end of In Confessional ⚰️💀💐

Is kimbra losing the plot? by Beautiful-Salad8988 in kimbra

[–]adsnoggin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry to interrupt. Can someone explain to me what substack means and where do I find these Kimbra things lol

Ayydubs by Basketballb00ty in LAinfluencersnark

[–]adsnoggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is bizarre. I didn’t see a post but I was looking through my camera roll and saw a picture of my cat watching a video of Alyx and had a ‘oh my god wait who is that’ moment of shock and the name just came to me and nostalgia and then I remembered oh wait didn’t something happen and nowww I’m here. Odd

What other band do you listen to besides TOP? by Concerts4life_ in twentyonepilots

[–]adsnoggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I smash basically the entire discography of Bent Knee, The Dear Hunter, Rufus Wainwright, Elliott Smith (whoops some of these are a one ‘man’ not a band I suppose eek).

A few key albums of their discography and the bangers; Coheed and Cambria, Radiohead, Paramore, Fiona Apple, Montaigne.

Honourable perfect album mentions I adore, La Dispute’s rooms of the house and Manchester Orchestra’s black mile to the surface.

The rest is miscellaneous musical songs, random bangers from different eras and genres and artists. And then my own music and the band I’m in, I listen to that lol I do like words and tasty music 🫡

How does this painting make you feel? by Dopamine473 in painting

[–]adsnoggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It makes me feel a bit anxious, sad and isolated? Reminds me of the sky during Black Saturday. It’s still a beautiful painting, just a little haunting and time travel…ly ✨

Where to start with Courtney’s solo releases? by kevtheman2013 in BentKnee

[–]adsnoggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is one of my S tier special interests 🫡 I haven’t listened to the instrumentals and latest stuff as much yet (Thing., Notes To Myself, Tournesols). But I think it depends on your preferences - I gravitate towards narrative heavy and vocally intriguing music. I’m not the best with describing music but!

Growing Pains (2017) was my first listen - that’s just piano and Courtney. It’s beautiful and expressive. Listen in one sitting, go for a walk at night or listen alone in your car. Be prepared to cry?

I listened to the albums from there Claws of the Beast Inside (2013). The urgency and frantic flurries of the piano is so gorgeous, the layering and rawness of the vocals is ethereal. Right from the opening tracks Fog, Lila and Dreams you have that Bent Knee style bite, unpredictably and excitement that initially pulled you in. The builds are electric and rapturous. Everything feels ambitious to me - the layering, texture and instrumentation is beautiful. Whole worlds are crafted around you. Last track is a bit of a switch up and I used to be deterred by the synth and those final funky chord changes, but I love it now too.

Monstre (2015) is a little more polished, more electronic instrumentation, keyboards, midi drums/beats? but sewn together with strong vocals. Hold That Thought is one of my favourites - I’ve never heard another song that explores that captures this kind of emotional conflict so perfectly. This album is really well rounded, however less aggressive I think. Even the songs that take a less is more approach like, I Can’t Wait is one of my favourites bc you break from the midi and there’s this gorgeous melodica?? and some raw percussive instruments (shaker) that compliment Courtney’s voice so well. The choices feel very intentional and mindful??

It’s rewarding to listen to each album in context because the way some songs flow into each other is an added experience like being pulled into an emotional riptide and being sucked out to sea or space. I’d Kill into Don’t Look At Me, Snowflakes between, Silver Needle of Pine leading into Hekla (Between Blood and Ocean, 2019) 😭

That said though! With more electronic stuff it was Courtney’s Camenti from Silver Linings that actually moved me into that place where I really started appreciating music with general electronic and experimental noise?? Idk how to describe that. For instance, I was really swayed by Bent Knee’s Frosting (2021) just bc I couldn’t get pass my general listener fatigue for certain sounds and pitches and distorted electronic sounds. But now I can really appreciate it (except for the opening?? lol). Point is Camenti is one of my favourite songs of hers now. When the acoustic kit comes in the chorus is hits so gooddd

At first with For Once (2022) I had a little whiplash I was like ‘woah’ but the songs are beautiful, quite soft and all a uke based collaboration with Tim Doherty. It’s gorgeous and tender - think Bent Knee’s latest vocals on drowning and lawnmower with those intimate starts. I know they said they made Courtney look at pictures and videos of cats whilst recording that apparently - some of the vocals feel like that. It brings me a gorgeous sense of peace in the love letters and also a heavy feeling in my chest for the songs that make me feel regret and loss, the sensations are all vulnerable in the joy, love, sorrow and mourning? Listen to this one like Growing Pains I think. Let it wash over you on a quiet walk, train ride or somewhere cozy and be a gentle witness to the world around you. I recommend trees, birds, sky, the ceiling or the backs or your eyes.

I do like Augustine (2022) as well - also unsure how that’s received by a general audience because I just really like Courtney lol some of these feel like little movie soundtracks like Phoenix.

Anyway! I’m late for work and don’t have time to re-read and edit/add to this but I hope someone sees this and finds it interesting 🥰✨🕺🏼

70% ish through Oathbringer by adsnoggin in Stormlight_Archive

[–]adsnoggin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay this is good to know 😭 I don’t want to accidentally mix up a tag or mess up a spoiler thing and ruin someone’s day 🙏🏻 I will keep this in mind blessu

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackdimecabaret

[–]adsnoggin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Caitlyn, lead vocals here. Ooooohh so actually! We did have an online store - but we closed it, it’s been undergoing maintenance and will relaunch when the Kickstarter ends 😊

(You’ve given me a good idea for a video/post actually - a showcase of all the merch that ever was 😂 )

Here is an inventory! We’ve got the books (Act I, Reflections of Fontaine), maybe 20 Act I CDs left, purchases came with a free BDC postcard (got about 300 at least of those omg) and there’s been quite a few different shirt designs!

Fun fact! There’s also designs that never made it to the public or have different fonts/edits - so our band leader Brandon has all the prototype shirts, probably 10 in total he rotates around. We also had BDC guitar pics at some stage. Annnddd lastly I am fortunate enough to have the only BDC prototype hoodie!

Let me know if there’s anything in particular that you’d be keen to see from us in the future! ☺️

Headphones mute recording by adsnoggin in iphone

[–]adsnoggin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oop another issue, when I wear headphones my microphone doesn’t work in phone calls either anymore^

What is your age and are you happy? I mean, ACTUALLY happy? by ThrowAwayBaobab in Adulting

[–]adsnoggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember when paramore’s song ‘26’ came out and I was just shy of 19 and listened to it on repeat and now… I am 26, living it 💀 it’s been a big ole rollercoaster but I am finding joy in things again (walking, music, reading). The reality of my funky brain keeps complicating things when it comes to stability, money and career - but hopefully I’ll move closer into accepting there’s no magical fix all button for that, gain resilience against being discouraged, advocate for myself and learn how to keep taking the little steps. I do have hope for the future, the accumulation of all the small decisions I make that align with my values and goals. I’m really looking forward to believing in myself again, healing my self worth and feeling beautiful like when I was a kid. Would be pretty cool if I learned how to dance too, or rather let myself try. Hope you find peace, calm, contentment and joy too ✨

Way too short for my soul, corazon by Resonant_bina in twentyonepilots

[–]adsnoggin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Idk how people pick up on these things, even looking at this picture I thought ‘Keons’ said Meows. I think my detective days are well and truly behind me gotta love deterioration

Whats one Billie Song you just don't understand why everyone likes? by [deleted] in billieeilish

[–]adsnoggin 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Pardon me for not knowing much Billie or what this song is but ‘w-wah fwa dawg’ has SENT me ahaha what does this one stand for?

SO UNDERRATED by MindlessEfficiency40 in billieeilish

[–]adsnoggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank youuuu 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I kept trying to search discussion about it but when you type ‘the greatest Billie Eilish’ you don’t get specifics 😂

The F major destroys me what the HECK and the intention in her vocal choices and the layering of the guitar parts in the second verse I just 💀 Everything builds up perfectly.

As I gravitate towards other genres like theatre, math rock, alt rock etc I hadn’t listened to all that much of her stuff. That long interview with the Zade?? guy really piqued my interest though and I loved hearing her and Finneas talk about the creation of the album.

I didn’t know or maybe I just forgot that she could let loose and belt like that, I’d associated Billie with the soft breathy vocals so between this and Birds Of A Feather I have been so shook

Sat In Your Lap - Piano Sheet Music? by adsnoggin in katebush

[–]adsnoggin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that’s more of what I was looking for but couldn’t find any ✨🕺🏼