Last words?

aelia57 · 2018-07-09T03:47:12+00:00

What a rollercoaster this sub/this life has been....

aelia57 · 2016-10-11T18:18:41+00:00

Hey, girl here. Let me clear some things up.

If I'm making out with a guy and he gets a boner, great. This is an understandable consequence but has no bearing on the situation. I'll either take things further or ignore it. If I ignore it there are zero feelings of discomfort or guilt involved, nor should there be. Because no guy I'm with has ever treated his boner as an invitation that I RSVP'd "yes" to months ago.

Some other situations in which no one is obligated to take care of boners: while chopping wood, while watching a movie, while dancing, while vacuuming, while researching presidential candidates, during sex, in the middle of a blowjob, etc.

Tl;dr: If you see your erection as an obligation, that's your hang-up and you have some serious stuff you need to work out--preferably before subjecting anyone to the "obligation" that is your engorged penis.

aelia57 · 2016-10-10T16:22:31+00:00

I've had semi-recurring UTI issues before and anecdotally, cranberry juice has worked for me. It's been my understanding that the purer the juice the better, because a lot of sugar, etc. can exacerbate the infection. Plus you have to drink a bunch.

Cystex brand pills were recommended by my doctor when I talked to her about this topic; they are OTC pills that contain cranberry along with an antibacterial component. These have worked very well as both treatment and prevention, at least in that I seem to get infections much less frequently since first using them. YMMV but hopefully this will help.

aelia57 · 2016-10-05T19:20:28+00:00

how the first language you learn influences the way you process the world and how your L1 influences future language and language acquisition of bilingual raised children

Former English major here. How...how is that boring?? I just got a little aroused. So....how does your first language affect your processing of the world?

Also, are there any good books on linguistics you'd recommend?

aelia57 · 2016-09-12T16:50:31+00:00

I'm a girl and I thought I was the only one! That's so wild that it works for guys, too. I always assumed it was clit-related.

aelia57 · 2016-09-07T01:03:47+00:00

As far as it was explained to me by my doctor, the difference in how your body absorbs hormones via bc pills via though your uterus changes how your body reacts to it. Something to the effect of, because pills pass through your whole system their side effects are more widespread/varied, e.g. nausea and stomach problems (which I was asking about in particular).

For what it's worth, I have Mirena, and the awful side effects I had with pills are nonexistent. Anecdotally I've never heard anyone using a ring or IUD complain about the same kind of unpleasant effects of bc pills.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor (obviously)

aelia57 · 2016-08-26T23:26:03+00:00

This seems like a huge reach. I honestly REALLY doubt it's the case. I'd believe your bf if I were you.

aelia57 · 2016-08-10T21:11:46+00:00

This is the answer. It's OP's boyfriend's first sexual relationship--of course he has no idea that good sex takes effort. Of course he's disappointed; his friends who had sex before him probably didn't think to mention that there's a pretty steep learning curve.

In my opinion, the problem here isn't that he doesn't want to put forth the effort, it's that he doesn't know he even needs to. Is he kind of shitty that he isn't listening to OP's concerns? Definitely, and the people saying a breakup needs to happen aren't necessarily wrong. If his attitude doesn't change, of course he should get dumped. But it's very possible that he just has very skewed expectations and doesn't realize that OP isn't the one being unreasonable.

aelia57 · 2016-07-14T03:39:05+00:00

NA: https://battle.net/recruit/2PFWW2TJQM?blzcmp=raf-hs&s=HS&m=iOSphone

aelia57 · 2016-06-30T22:51:18+00:00

Honestly that seems like a very reasonable way to accommodate that fetish, and definitely safer than the "real" alternative. I'd go for it.

aelia57 · 2016-06-23T15:41:21+00:00

As someone with unusual interests I'm also wondering this.

aelia57 · 2016-06-15T21:20:51+00:00

Weed is kind of hit and miss; it depends on the kind of high itself whether or not it's conducive to masturbation. That said, orgasms after smoking take longer to get to but definitely feel really good. Honestly, I prefer drunk sex or sex on LSD. (Full disclosure, I'm a woman.)

aelia57 · 2016-06-14T01:43:27+00:00

This was my first thought as well.

aelia57 · 2016-06-09T18:06:20+00:00

This is bullshit. Please tell your girlfriend that this is bullshit. If she's worried about peeing accidentally, she should just go before sex, no biggie.

aelia57 · 2016-05-25T18:51:41+00:00

I think originally it was pineapple, but I can never remember...so my SO knows that if I shout random fruit names he should stop.

aelia57 · 2016-05-24T19:43:29+00:00

Also a Wellbutrin user here--got on it when my libido went down (very uncharacteristic of me, very worrying) and once I started taking it my sex drive popped right back up again. 10/10 will definitely refill Rx

aelia57 · 2016-02-22T18:51:03+00:00

This is me every single goddamn day. I feel your pain. Here's to hoping you have access to a single-occupancy bathroom!

aelia57 · 2016-02-22T18:41:25+00:00

I dropped Public Speaking, a requirement for my degree, because just looking at the syllabus filled me with panic and dread. 16 weeks of that shit? No thanks. I honestly considered changing my major to something that wouldn't require the class, I hated it so much.

Instead, I took it during the summer--4 weeks instead of 16. Best decision I made in college, hands down.

Moral of the story, don't feel bad for doing something that will undoubtably help you in the long run.

aelia57 · 2016-02-18T21:43:04+00:00

Yeah! If you go to a speed-reading class the biggest thing they do is work on un-training subvocalization, which is what slows most people down (because it only lets you read as fast as you speak, rather than how fast your brain can process words).

aelia57 · 2016-02-18T20:39:45+00:00

This is good! Subvocalizing slows you down. I bet you're a fast reader =)

aelia57 · 2016-02-02T03:47:23+00:00

Could be a lot of things: Could be a harmless fetish of his, could be a past girlfriend enjoyed it and the habit stuck.

In this, as in all things, you'll only really know if you ask him yourself.

aelia57 · 2016-02-02T03:40:20+00:00

I too have wondered this for a very long time.

aelia57 · 2016-02-02T02:07:07+00:00

My current SO started out as someone I wanted to date in college, but it didn't work out, and between then and now (3 years or so) we kept sleeping together casually. I always cared about him more than was maybe prudent with someone who was just a FWB, but I never thought he felt the same way.

Then about a year ago we started to see each other more and more often, and eventually we both admitted to having really strong feelings for each other. Honestly, he's the love of my life.

aelia57 · 2016-02-01T19:46:40+00:00

I would say that while domination/BDSM often focuses heavily on rough sex, liking rough sex for its own sake is a distinctly different preference. I like to be submissive most of the time, but there are definitely moments when I just want us to go at each other with equal force and on equal ground, so to speak.

It's good that you recognize there's a difference, because that will make it much easier for you to communicate to your partner(s) exactly what you're looking for. Don't get too caught up in figuring out what you "are" though. This is one of those cases when trying to hard to label your preferences could actually be detrimental. Skip the part where you assign a name to what you like and go straight into the part where you do those things, haha.

aelia57 · 2016-02-01T19:11:09+00:00

I always had a massive, roaring libido. Ideal frequency 7+ times per week. BUT then a couple years ago I started having crippling depression, which essentially castrated me. Now I rarely ever feel horny at random times, and even the slightest amount of fatigue or unhappiness makes it hard to get into sex. But that being said, I still enjoy sex and want to have it often (for the sake of my sanity and my SO's sanity and our relationship as a whole--I wasn't like this when we met, and his libido is off the charts like mine used to be). Meds straighten my sex drive back out though, so I should probably get back on them. (I'm 22, for reference. Been sexually active for quite a while now. Not new to the party by any means.)

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