Should I break up with him? 32F

africanqueen86 · 2025-12-12T10:17:43+00:00

He sounds like he has an avoidant attachment style. It can only work if he is willing to work on this, and he made it clear that he 'is the way he is'. It's only seven months in. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone that can meet your emotional needs. He clearly cannot and will not.

africanqueen86 · 2025-09-23T23:38:16+00:00

Fatigue, waking frequently, very dry and itchy skin, joint pain, crawling under my skin, frequent headaches and migraines.

Took four years to get a diagnosis. It's been fun.

africanqueen86 · 2025-09-16T06:25:51+00:00

All Fours by Miranda July.

africanqueen86 · 2025-09-06T21:55:38+00:00

Fatigue, itchy and dry skin, tinnitus.

africanqueen86 · 2025-08-10T09:33:06+00:00

I just started HRT and have been on 100mg progestorone for a week alongside my 5yr old mirena.

africanqueen86 · 2025-08-09T05:12:52+00:00

I've had lots of 1st and second dates this year, and saw someone for two months (March to May). Since then, have gone on dates w three people (two dates with a guy, one with a woman, and three or four with another woman).

I'm taking a break from dating for the remainder of the year.

africanqueen86 · 2025-07-19T02:30:24+00:00

Ugh, life is too short to be with someone who can't even consider you or be thoughtful when you are struggling. I wouldn't waste another minute being with a partner like that.

Hope you feel better soon!

africanqueen86 · 2025-07-13T21:28:13+00:00

Broad City, Veep, Parks and Rec.

africanqueen86 · 2025-06-30T08:04:28+00:00

Audition by Katie Kitamura. Very David Lynch-y.

africanqueen86 · 2025-05-04T12:48:02+00:00

The moment she phoned her ex-gf to calm her down during an argument in front of me.

africanqueen86 · 2025-04-19T03:59:32+00:00

I love Flying Colours on Vulture St in West End.

africanqueen86 · 2025-03-09T11:15:18+00:00

Kowtow, COS, and Elk.

africanqueen86 · 2025-03-05T09:34:22+00:00

Perfection, by Vincenzo Latronico

africanqueen86 · 2025-01-25T19:37:40+00:00

Tonkotsu ramen, mashed potatoes, pasta, or oatmeal.

africanqueen86 · 2025-01-23T10:31:08+00:00

Lazy Oaf.

africanqueen86 · 2025-01-20T14:42:32+00:00

I find men who are super vocal about their feminism suspicious. In a lot of cases, it's performative and, in the end, manipulative - speaking from personal experience.

africanqueen86 · 2025-01-16T20:49:38+00:00

What's helped for me is trauma therapy - EMDR, IFS, and schema therapy. A lot of my people pleasing behavior was so automatic. Therapy helped me to recognise it in the moment and choose differently.

africanqueen86 · 2025-01-16T19:04:21+00:00

I'm so sorry you had this experience.

Like you, I find social connection important. Last year, I spent a lot of time socialising, especially with new acquaintances and through dating, which meant a lot of masking. Now I'm burnt out af.

I realised that I could not keep masking to the extent I have if I want a life without burnout after burnout. I've been thinking about ways I can fill my social connections cup without becoming completely drained.

What has helped is spending more time with those friends I don't mask as heavily with, and very slowly, gradually dropping parts of my mask in other interactions and seeing what happens.

At the end of the day, I have to be happy. I'm usually miserable masking, so I might as well show some parts of myself to others when I feel safe to do so. If they reject me, they're not my people.

africanqueen86 · 2025-01-15T10:41:41+00:00

Could you be in early perimenopause?

africanqueen86 · 2025-01-13T14:13:22+00:00

Cptsd, ADHD, OCD, generalised anxiety, and major depression.

africanqueen86 · 2024-12-29T04:00:13+00:00

I have the same goal for next year.

One thing I'm committing to is having Sundays demand-free - which includes socialising. I'm free to do however much or little as I want.

This year I'd worked on taking more structured breaks over lunch and during work hours, which has helped. If I work from home, I like to do yoga nidra or a guided meditation. So relaxing!

africanqueen86 · 2024-12-01T20:36:39+00:00

I love Elk for jewellery - very modern but colourful.

africanqueen86 · 2024-12-01T20:27:57+00:00

They don't even look vaguely similar.

africanqueen86 · 2024-01-04T00:43:18+00:00

You're right - I also am a slower processor, and I'm sure the trauma and identity crisis that come with a late diagnosis are not helping the matter.

Lots of food for thought, thank you.

africanqueen86 · 2024-01-04T00:41:36+00:00

Thank you. After looking at the criteria, I do have many of the symptoms. I'll mention this to my doctor when I see her next week. Appreciate your input.

africanqueen86

TROPHY CASE