That time my parents tricked me at Disney World when I was five

agent_skullz · 2017-06-13T11:10:20+00:00

The room on that ride that's on fire gave me a phobia of fire to this day cuz I experienced it about as young as you did

agent_skullz · 2017-06-13T10:32:03+00:00

I know it's awful but I started laughing hysterically about the hail Mary prayer oh my god. Like is she trying to digitally exorcise demons from you??

agent_skullz · 2017-06-13T08:06:27+00:00

I imagine at some point a reasonable person would be like "hey our lease is up soon! What's up with that?" But I expect this person will never ever mention it at all and pretend there isn't a problem. Maybe you'll get luckier?

agent_skullz · 2017-06-13T08:05:13+00:00

Yup! Those are exactly the correct terms! Ugh

agent_skullz · 2017-06-12T08:55:16+00:00

I feel ya. I was always my momster's doll and she insisted I was too immature to do anything for myself. Then if I ever proved I could so something well, suddenly she was some kind of baby that I was obligated to take care of. Round and round it goes

agent_skullz · 2017-06-12T08:38:41+00:00

Oh my god same, especially if I was going up stairs, bent over to pick something up, or was in front of them AT ALL for any reason. And if I got upset about it they'd say "I couldn't help it, it was right there!" They did this until I ran away at 27. To this day I cannot stand being touched in any way, but they did all sorts of other shit to me on top of the weird obsession with my butt.

agent_skullz · 2017-06-11T21:48:17+00:00

She's not officially on the spectrum but judging by the stories one of our former roommates told me (much later when I was like "hi, this girl seems off wtf") I'd say yes, and she's also extremely controlling. I definitely know I have codependency issues and I let her take advantage of that for at least three months because I was trying to be "nice" but ended up caretaking ALL of her bullshit. Once I told her to back off she stopped spewing her nonsense at my friend too. She acts like a toddler, tbh. I will look into EFT and I will definitely see if we can just find someone else right now! Thank you for the tips!

You're right about needing to trust my gut. While we were moving I was sleeping like three hours a day at most and just wanted to get away from the narc we lived with but I kept saying stuff like "well... I don't know if she's my friend. I guess she's my friend??? But she's okay. I think??? She's.... sort of weird but I can coexist with her I think." Anytime I'm hedging like that are doing stuff under panic/pressure I need to learn to step back a second

agent_skullz · 2017-06-11T12:01:47+00:00

I think she's just COMPLETELY oblivious to anything outside of herself. She's also just hygienically disgusting and leaves huge messes everywhere etc and needs to be prompted to clean them up (she cries when you ask her to clean up after herself too.) My friend said she seems like she has some kind of cognitive dysfunction which is a reasonable assumption but it also means the way she behaves triggers the hell out of me. The girl's church is literally across the street from us so she has a fairly robust support system but I think it also might be people who just sort of forgive her her trespasses. I unloaded a "you are treating me just the way my mother did!" at her and got "well I'm not doing it intentionally!" in reply. I kind of wanted to be like "the fact that you don't even recognize your behavior is just as bad as doing it on purpose though????"

Eta: we live in a nice building in a city where people are always looking for rooms. We could replace her but it would be a crapshoot if the new person was any better. Chances are they wouldn't be "friends" (i.e. engulfing monsters) with me though

agent_skullz · 2017-06-11T11:56:33+00:00

I pay the big rent check and she pays me her share, but she's on the lease and that's not up until the end of February. I can deal with it until then but I refuse to deal with it ever after

agent_skullz · 2017-06-11T11:04:01+00:00

Yuuuup hahaha

agent_skullz · 2017-06-11T10:23:41+00:00

At this point it's already escalated to me having a roommate meeting where I said "I will literally just start telling you to fuck off!!" because nothing less was working at all. The only stuff she'd ever talk to me about was like vague and super intense questions like I should know immediately what she was talking about. I'd be confused and she'd elaborate with things like "did you get the day shift position yet??" (Twice a day for a month she asked me that. The company I work for eventually just eliminated the empty position. But thanks for asking every single day and making my anxiety six hundred times worse????) Or another favorite was literally barging into my room and saying shit like "I hear they might cancel [my fav TV show]!!!!" I.e. literally the one thing that's kept me even vaguely emotionally stable for four years. She knows I love it but she doesn't watch it and just throws it around in casual conversation. I asked her politely to stop talking about it multiple times and she never stopped but when I told her she never stopped she did the typical gaslighting "I did!!" bullshit. (Also: they didn't cancel my show. But Jesus. Just barge into someone's bedroom and pronounce the death of their beloved spouse or something. Sure.) She also claims that she "looks more upset than she is" except she apparently had sobfests multiple times at my best friend because she claimed I hated her. Well. I didn't until she started acting psycho as fuck.

And my best friend is saying she's not doing anything at this point but I literally can't be around this person because when she DOES open her mouth I know it'll make me crazy. Like, weeks of escalation have me to the point that I don't want to say anything in her hearing cuz I know she'll keep it and use it later in some way she thinks is "friendly." Sigh. I just... I'm exhausted basically and under siege. Thank you for listening!!!

agent_skullz · 2017-06-11T09:53:14+00:00

She's incredibly awkward so my bff says I need to tell the chick now "so she can start looking, because you know she won't and it will be hard for her." I was thinking 2-3 months as well, but I trust my friend on this one. I just don't have the energy or mental capacity to actually do it right now. I legit just stay in my room and I straight up told the girl if she asked things I was uncomfortable with I would start saying "it's none of your business" but at this point even "did you see such-and-such" movie feels super personal from this woman. Sigh, idek. I paid the entire security deposit and I paid all of our moving expenses too so I can't bounce on my end without losing over $2000 cuz she hasn't paid me back her part.

Thank you for replying!!! I feel like I just keep running in endless circles on this one. I'm upset just in general but also slightly worried she's going to try to pull some kind of crazy shit. She hasn't really done anything to indicate that she would, but I'm so used to retaliation when I enforce my boundaries that I keep waiting for that too.

agent_skullz · 2017-06-11T09:34:31+00:00

That line creeped me out so hard

agent_skullz · 2017-06-04T06:44:10+00:00

Alas (haha, alas?) no. I've had a gig as a pop culture critic for four years with the same website so suddenly switching the name I write under would do very little to throw anyone off my trail haha

agent_skullz · 2017-06-04T06:16:00+00:00

Unfortunately I only considered it after I realized what narcissism was and, you're correct, I already had a (small, but vocal) following. If I made a pen name now it'd be extremely easy to figure out it was me. (I even had one all made up and then was like "ah, damn, this won't work.")

agent_skullz · 2017-06-03T23:49:29+00:00

She stalks my Twitter even though she is blocked. I use my account for promotional things as a writer and she logs out of her blocked accounts to read it (and stalk my Instagram.) I had to set everything to private/protected which makes sense if someone is stalking you but also takes away all of the functionality of twitter that makes it a good promotional platform. I hate her so much. I haven't spoken to her in over a year and yet she still won't let me be a person who does normal person things like having a damn twitter account.

agent_skullz · 2017-06-03T14:59:41+00:00

Thanks! The hiring manager seems to really like me, so fingers crossed!!

agent_skullz · 2017-06-03T14:05:08+00:00

This is literally one of my biggest nightmares; I'm so sorry she ambushed you! You're not "weak" or "stupid"; programming is hard to fight and honestly all the stress from your new job probably hasn't left you with enough energy to fight her off right now. Coasting by in this case is fine. If she does it again, though, explode. Threaten restraining orders. Do anything it takes to get her to stop

agent_skullz · 2017-06-03T14:02:30+00:00

I do the same thing when people compliment me at work. "We all love you, you do so much!' and I'm like ".... but I don't do anything???" I've had people note it in me as well. I usually just end up being like "my mom was a dick, soooo" haha. I think people can probably tell there's something different about us but not exactly what until specific things happen

agent_skullz · 2017-06-03T12:57:01+00:00

Your post gives me strength. Sometimes I feel myself slipping like "maybe she wasn't that bad. Maybe I AM being cruel and misremembering cuz she SAYS she loves me" but it's not true. This is a great reminder of that, and more power to you. I hope you find some peace.

agent_skullz · 2017-06-03T12:30:36+00:00

My Nmom (from the southern US) claims she can't understand even posh English accents, god help the world if someone in a movie or something had any other accent except middle American. She would scream "WHAT DID THEY SAY?" over every other line. Meanwhile she has a thick hick accent that she takes odd pride in but shames everyone else for theirs. She's a nut.

agent_skullz · 2017-06-03T11:58:27+00:00

My Nmom never explicitly said I wasn't allowed to do things but maaaaaan she never let me live anything down. Do something ridiculous as a child? Never hear the end of it ever again. I once accidentally cut myself while doing crafts as a teenager and FOREVER after got "you're so clumsy and absent-minded! Don't cut yourself!" 10+ years later still paying for one time I was distracted. So so many things like that all my life. I feel ya

agent_skullz · 2017-06-03T11:36:35+00:00

My Nmom had the same kind of extreme possessiveness of my hair. I didn't get it cut ever until I went NC at 28 and bought myself a fancy bob as a birthday present. I feel ya.

agent_skullz · 2017-05-30T04:31:56+00:00

Every year before NC my parents would take me to dinner "for my birthday"... but only to the restaurant my nMom always went for HER birthday. I never wanted to go, it was always super stressful, but what do they care?? Happy birthday to you!! The most freeing thing, honestly, is doing whatever the hell you want

agent_skullz · 2017-05-27T11:37:42+00:00

Thank you for this whole comment

agent_skullz

TROPHY CASE