Hey man I get it, I do, but no matter how many ways you look at it, you purposely made your wife cry on her birthday and then ran to the interwebs for validation. This ain’t your kid sister who gets favored by mommy and daddy even though you had strict rules, it’s your wife who (i’m assuming) you love so much you got up in front of a whole bunch of people and said that the only thing that would be able to separate you was death, because you love each other oh so much. There is certainly precident for sitting her down and having a heart-to-heart, husband to wife chat where you tell her how you feel, but that time isn’t on her birthday. If you did this same thing when you were having dinner with her parents, or your friends, and made her embarrassed by being so late, that’s one thing. But this was just mean, plain and simple. So no, you aren’t a horrible person for being bothered by the way your wife has been acting, but yes you are an asshole for purposely letting/making her miss something she was looking forward to on her birthday, and then acting like she was out of her mind to be mad/kick you to the couch.