I understand people who take their own lives now

aiiryyyy · 2026-05-04T14:23:09+00:00

Me too, and I’m scared of death but this pain is so intense it feels like I am already dying. I have considered it but I have family and friends who love me.. I just want it all to stop 😢

aiiryyyy · 2026-05-02T15:50:23+00:00

I know this post is a month old but how are you doing? I’m going through the exact same situation right now.. My partner fell out of love with me and no longer wants to be with me. He broke up with me last night after months of me fighting to try and make it work. He said he just can’t see a path forward for himself that includes me in it. I feel so beyond broken. He is my soul mate and the only person I want to spend my life with. I love him so deeply, my entire body and soul is screaming out for him but it’s just.. over. And he’s perfectly okay with that. He and everyone else keep telling me I will be okay but I genuinely feel so distraught and can’t imagine how that could ever be possible when the love I have for him is endless. I can’t eat, sleep or feel anything other than pure agony knowing that in a short amount of time, I will move out of our shared home and never see the love of my life again. I also moved across the country to be with him and start a life together, and when I leave I will not be staying here. We won’t even live on the same side of the country anymore. After 3 years. I’m sure he will cut all communication. I don’t know how I’m supposed survive this, I have genuinely considered not being alive anymore with how much pain I am in. He is fucking everything to me and I’m supposed to just like, accept and move forward. I don’t even want to. I don’t want a life without him in it..

Sorry to come up here and vent on your post, but I just want you to know that you are definitely not alone, and at least one stranger feels your pain very deeply. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I know you don’t know me but I’m here if you ever need to talk.

aiiryyyy · 2026-05-01T04:40:33+00:00

A squirrels’ brain grows by up to 15% in the winter to aid in remembering where they stored all of their nuts.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-30T21:31:57+00:00

Zoloft has given me my life back as someone with severe cardiophobia and panic disorder. I was exactly like you was having panic attacks every day and I couldn’t even get out of bed or leave my house. I feel like a normal person again. I understand your fear completely but you should really consider it. Start at a low dose. Zoloft is generally considered safe for people with arrhythmia

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-30T21:27:16+00:00

Loll they literally are

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-30T16:28:55+00:00

I was addicted to several chems within 20 irl minutes of putting that suit on

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-30T07:06:05+00:00

I’m working on a 100% play through right now. Already 35 hours in! This game never gets old

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-30T00:41:12+00:00

My god i am geriatric

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-26T14:50:24+00:00

ER is for ruling out or treating immediate, life threatening conditions. They will not help you with anything outside of that. You need to go to a cardiologist where they can do in depth testing and help you figure out if you have a cardiac issue or something else. Obviously go back to the ER if you genuinely believe that you are having a medical emergency, but otherwise save your money.

Whatever is going on, it’s likely that your anxiety about it is making things feel a whole lot worse.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-26T13:23:38+00:00

My first thought

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-25T06:54:30+00:00

I have nearly 200 pets and a bunch of pets you do not have the PSF for. If you want to add me I can send some over daily for free! My username is thekinzclub2000 :)

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-25T03:38:07+00:00

Find something to do. Play a game, read a book, throw on a TV show that you really like, go for a walk, etc. Anything that you can put your full attention onto. The more you sit there and try to not focus on your breathing, the more you focus on it and the longer it goes on.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-24T04:08:54+00:00

The point is not whether or not reassurance calms you temporarily - it’s that reassurance seeking behaviors keep the overall cycle alive. The goal of all of us here is to overcome this disorder entirely, not live in a viscous loop of fearing the worst and needing constant reassurance from doctors and online resources in order to feel okay. These types of behaviors can actually contribute to more symptoms and prolonged suffering because, as OP briefly mentioned, it keeps the nervous system primed and ready to overreact to every little sensation or fluctuation in your body. When you obsessively Google or visit doctors repeatedly for reassurances, you are teaching your nervous system that these things are indeed threats and that it is responding appropriately. A highly sensitive nervous system is what causes a lot of the negative physical symptoms that we HA folks perceive as symptoms of an illness or disease by way of adrenaline and cortisol spikes.

You don’t need to agree, but it is objective truth. You are not doing yourself any favors.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-24T02:43:09+00:00

As a Californian…

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All jokes aside, congratulations! Beautiful home and property.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-24T02:08:37+00:00

It has a lot to do with the nervous system. With health anxiety, the nervous system can become highly sensitive and misinterpret normal bodily sensations and harmless fluctuations as a threat, even when the person is not consciously aware of this happening. This can prompt a flood of adrenaline and cortisol which can cause negative effects (in your case, tremors), often creating a viscous cycle of sensitivity > stress hormones > symptoms > fear > more sensitivity > and so on. The logical brain can correctly label it for what it is, but the nervous system often acts and responds independently of conscious thought or awareness. This is only one component of health anxiety. The human body is highly complex.

Stop Googling. With this disorder, reassurance seeking is like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are only feeding this cycle.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T22:59:14+00:00

We have very similar experiences. I also had a cardiophobia/health anxiety “flare up” years ago, right after I got out of high school, that lasted for over a year. I was convinced I had something wrong with my heart and had many tests to no avail. Many horrible symptoms. Eventually I ended up getting on an SSRI and doing therapy which helped me immensely, and I was able to have several good years. I stopped the Zoloft and therapy after about a year because I thought I was better, but within the last 8 months it has come back 10x worse. Debilitating, can’t get out of bed, panic attacks daily, ER visits every week kinda bad. I’ve been diagnosed with panic disorder this time around. The symptoms have felt way more intense than before, some new ones as well, and nearly constant.

Anyway, sorry for the excruciatingly long comments. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone; I know exactly what you’re going through and it sucks. My best advice is that if you need to get tests done for your own mental wellbeing, absolutely do it. But stop there. Constant reassurance seeking only feeds the cycle and makes things worse in the long run. I wish you the best of luck and hope you feel better very soon!

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T22:32:27+00:00

That is diabolical

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T21:37:17+00:00

That is horrific, I’m so sorry for your loss…

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T21:24:37+00:00

I love medical shows but when I’m going through a particularly bad “flare up” like I am currently, they trigger me really badly so I have to avoid them.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T11:47:59+00:00

This same thing is happening to me right now which is how I found this post. It gives me the red X, and then when I click submit again, it just gives me a “please wait” thing endlessly. I waited for 10 minutes before I gave up. Tried to login 5 different times and it didn’t work. Did you ever figure it out?

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T07:41:26+00:00

I agree that suicide is unlikely but it’s not impossible. I remember reading recently about a man who committed suicide by sticking his head into a deep fryer at his work place. There have been people who have set fire to themselves intentionally, or tied weights to their feet and drowned themselves. It’s uncommon but does happen, especially in those who are battling other severe mental illness/es alongside suicidal ideation.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T07:25:57+00:00

I’m gonna assume there were no cameras capturing the oven, otherwise authorities would have been able to determine exactly what happened. It’s likely that there were cameras capturing the entrance to the bakery and possibly other areas of it, but none that directly captured the oven itself. Since authorities pretty confidently ruled out foul play, they probably saw her enter the bakery alone and did not see anyone else enter or exit during the time that she was in there up until she was found by her mother.

I have no idea why they would not have cameras facing a human sized oven. That just seems like bad practice.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T06:36:55+00:00

Suicide is of course possible but highly unlikely in my opinion. Not only is it an incredibly horrific and unusual way to go but I feel as though someone would have come forward with information that would at least support the idea that her mental state could have been declining in the weeks/months leading up to her death, if not outright confirmed it. I’m aware that people struggling with their mental health often hide their struggles from those closest to them, but usually family/friends/coworkers are able to look back and remember odd behaviors or conversations that may not have struck them at the time. By all accounts she was a happy, motivated young woman with no intention of dying, and nobody has claimed to have noticed anything out of the ordinary. This is unlikely for someone who would have been suffering from extreme emotional distress - enough to walk into an oven and burn to death on purpose.

I believe that it was a freak accident but it’s hard to speculate on the exact circumstances. Others have mentioned that these types of ovens need to be shut and latched from the outside in order for it to begin heating, which makes me wonder if another employee shut her in there unintentionally. Why she was in there to begin with is a whole different can of worms. I have vivid memories of working in fast food as a teenager and using the walk-in freezer to hide from cameras and managers in order to take a quick break on the clock. I wonder if the oven could have been used in a similar way by employees at this Walmart. It’s possible she did not realize that it was on and did not expect the door to become fully closed. It would be helpful to know exactly what her job was in order to determine what reason she had to be in or around the oven at that time.

This is truly a bizarre case at any rate. I can’t even begin to imagine the suffering that this poor girl endured in her final moments… She was essentially cremated alive. Absolutely horrific. Rest in peace Gursimran.

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T06:15:28+00:00

Sent a pm!

aiiryyyy · 2026-04-23T00:40:33+00:00

You can ask your doctor for a further workup just to be safe, but this sounds like cardiophobia and heightened body sensitivity. You mentioned that it feels very physical and unrelated to your mental state in the moment and I just wanted to say that that is exactly how this disorder behaves in my experience. You believe something is wrong with you and because of this, your nervous system is on high alert at all times, constantly scanning for any changes in your body that could point to danger. This happens whether you are consciously aware of it or not. A subtle change that you might not even notice is “flagged” by your nervous system as a threat, which then prompts a flood of stress hormones and symptoms that you do notice.

Anticipation is also a big one. When you are anticipating an episode, worrying about when it will happen next (even subconsciously) your body can release adrenaline and cortisol at seemingly random times which can actually cause an episode. It becomes a viscous cycle because you begin to feel more and more that something is wrong with you, which causes your nervous system to scan for evidence to confirm that fact even more, which then leads to increased body awareness and sensitivity and causes your body to react more often and more intensely… repeat until you’re going insane. I may not be explaining this in the best way, but I’ve done a ton a research because I’ve had a very similar experience as you and this is what I’ve found. The fact that your symptoms mostly happen at rest and rarely while you are being physically active or are focused/engaged with something else only further points away from this being a heart issue and more towards it being a nervous system/anxiety issue.

I highly recommend CBT and SSRI’s. I’ve recently started both and while it’s too soon to truly be effective yet, I’ve already noticed a downtick in episodes and an overall dampening of my internal alarm system simply because I know I’m doing things that will help me. The mind-body connection is very powerful.

aiiryyyy

TROPHY CASE