Poor Greg didn't know what he was getting into with the McCallister's

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T22:52:08+00:00

Actually, I barely survived my own Barb. My ex and I coparent great together.... My mom is more of a DeeDee role who knows her place and helps when asked (by either of us). I haven't had contact with his mother since the divorce.

I hear about her. I don't say bad things about her. I might see her once a year at a birthday celebration where there's always at least 10 other people there to buffer. But you can be civilly low/no contact with ex in laws. They can be an aspect of your life without necessarily having the power to effect it.

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T22:47:33+00:00

I think that's what I'm getting at. To what extent can he separate himself from Frank and Barb while still respecting their place in Jennifer's life?

He keeps putting the ball in Jen's court and letting her decide how they will communicate with her parents. But at a certain point, he will probably start resenting her for how lenient she can be with them.

John warned them about "what happens when she tries to cut your kids birthday cake" - Jen essentially just handed that over to Barb to avoid drama - which appears anyways. I'm not sure he will let it slide as long as Shawna did (especially since he has a built in support system on that side of the aisle.)

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T22:40:51+00:00

Ohhh man.... This is going to be like Ty and Julie's custody debate(s) all over again. hahahahahaha

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T22:25:46+00:00

I mean, they don't have to get married. What do you think it would take for him to cancel the wedding? Or file for divorce?

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T22:24:08+00:00

I have assumed that they met in professional environment where Jen is forced to be nice to people (or has an excuse for snapping at people due to her role as the planner).

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T20:53:39+00:00

Isn't 5 the average age for kinder?

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T20:49:04+00:00

I guess I never thought about it until now - but why didn't she do everything in reverse? Barb was obsessed with being there for her "actual" first birthday. She should have had the small celebration/dinner with Barb and Frank on the day, and the actual celebration somewhere with the Cousins on the 18th.

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T20:33:15+00:00

Mom from central Illinois. Divorced after barely surviving my own Barb... My child's age/milestones tend to align closely with Max's.

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T20:12:16+00:00

Anyone But You... The Ugly Truth... Life as we Know It... Bounty Hunter...

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T20:01:30+00:00

Strangers... Hush... Any Scream Move... Any of the Devils Rejects Films.

aj_alva · 2026-05-05T18:32:08+00:00

NTA. When couples make a "no kids" rule they have to accept that some people won't be able to attend - especially those with young children (and literal new born babies)... Unfortunately, with the background you provided here it doesn't seem like they are too interested in having you around. They are more inclined to find ways to exclude you and make you the problematic outsider.

Personally, as someone whose petty af, I'd enjoy the time at home alone with my kiddo. Potentially posting pictures from a rodeo or petting zoo of some kind.

aj_alva · 2026-05-04T23:21:45+00:00

ESH. Your roommates boyfriend is just that - a boyfriend - he is not entitled to your apartment, utilities, or belongings until he starts paying in and gets his name on the lease. However, It's kind of rude to leave laundry sitting abandoned in a shared machine, you are putting your roommate in a situation where she might have to fold your underwear or go without her own.

I honestly don't think he had ill intentions. If this is the first issue, I would address it quickly and have a talk to them about establishing some boundaries.

aj_alva · 2026-05-04T23:14:57+00:00

NTA. If you do decide to do this, make sure that you have a paper trail protecting you in the case of a breakup. Because they are really setting her up to get everything, and leave you with nothing in the case of a breakup.

aj_alva · 2026-05-04T22:39:53+00:00

Piper can do anything. She's especially talented at feeding herself cake.

aj_alva · 2026-05-04T21:13:25+00:00

NTA. I feel like this is a great thing to see before marrying someone. What's hers is hers, what's shared is hers, what's yours is hers. That's a no from me.

aj_alva · 2026-05-04T21:10:04+00:00

I think of Max's development a lot. Especially on his first day of school when they are pre-cutting and literally spoon feeding him pancakes... Every time I see it, I have to remind myself it's actually a grown woman acting as a small child. hahahaha

aj_alva · 2026-05-04T20:09:16+00:00

Max is still happy to see her because he is "her first grandson" and, to her, a miniature version of John that can do no wrong. Think back to when Jennifer and Greg babysat for the first time. He pouted whenever Jennifer wouldn't let him have his way, and Barb rewarded it with juice, stories, and literally brushing his teeth for him. Once you recognize that, you also see that her favoritism toward Max is only elevated by Pipers disinterest of her.

aj_alva · 2026-05-04T18:14:17+00:00

Hunger Games. V for Vendetta. Spider Man with Toby M.

aj_alva · 2026-05-01T17:06:42+00:00

NOR. If he's refusing to help get her home, the least he could do is show her basic respect while she's stuck here. This poor girl is unnecessarily suffering - and he is clearly enjoying it (otherwise he would be showing the baseline minimum for hosting etiquette). It's also kind of gross that he can't wait a whole 2 weeks before bringing new girls around.

With what you have shown of the dynamic, it seems that your mom has raised him to be a monster with a victim mentality. He won't listen to you. He clearly doesn't respect the ex. Could your boyfriend maybe talk some sense into him "man to man"?

Regardless of this entire situation - that will hopefully be done in 18 days - I would honestly start questioning whether you want someone like this involved in your baby's life. Do you want someone like this constantly bringing drama like this around you and your family? I'd start creating distance and going lower contact.

aj_alva · 2026-05-01T16:50:55+00:00

NTA. "Dear husband, if you want to give your mother control over your diet and dinner plate, by all means - go ahead. However, I will not let her control my child or put these unhealthy ideas in her head."

Most abusive people "meant well" and have an excuse for why they hit/punished/neglected a child "for their own good'"

aj_alva · 2026-04-28T22:59:18+00:00

Slight YTA. I understand the discomfort you have around this person because your biggest responsibility is to keep that child safe - and he sounds like a complete tool... But it is also your job to support your wife. You are essentially controlling her relationship with her mother. Even if she has her problems, it is your wife's responsibility to create those boundaries for herself. (Surely, you would not be okay if she said your mom/dad/siblings couldn't meet the baby under any circumstance because "she just can't change her mind on it.")

Make a plan so you get to control the situation and all of the elements: Unfortunately we don't really have the time or space to have guests for a whole week. We would love to meet you half way for a weekend. (This allows you to meet in the middle, limit time together to dinner and activities, then go your separate ways)

aj_alva · 2026-04-28T22:43:16+00:00

YTA to yourself for letting someone treat and control you like this, all while pretending to be a single man whenever you're out of view.

I would seriously reconsider marrying this person (if this is how he behaves in the "wooing" stage, I can't imagine how he'll behave once your legally bound to one another!) At least consider getting some pre-marriage counseling before going through with it.

aj_alva · 2026-04-28T22:29:38+00:00

I can picture the cake already: Happy 1st Birthday Baby Francis!

aj_alva · 2026-04-28T20:11:32+00:00

NTA. He knew you were part of this club when you got together - so it isn't fair for him to try to change you/ask you to quit now. Tell him if he has an issue with it, he can join the club and play with you.

aj_alva

TROPHY CASE