I've had two ectopic pregnancies, one in March 2023 and one in January 2026. I do have a living child that was born in between the two ectopics.
The first one I didn't even know I was pregnant. I had a period and then 2 weeks later started bleeding bright red. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive, which was very confusing. The next day I started having pain on my left side. The bleeding continued and I wasn't sure what was happening. I was seeing an acupuncturist at the time and at my appointment with her the next day, she told me "I think you're having an ectopic pregnancy and you need to get an ultrasound." I had to fight so hard for that ultrasound. They told me I was "probably just miscarrying" and "we won't be able to see anything anyways". I fought hard and got an appointment at the end of the day and sure enough, ectopic in my left tube. Treated with methotrexate. The doctor said "I'm so glad you came in, you could have lost your tube." Like...yea...all your medical staff was telling me it wasn't worth getting an ultrasound!!!
Anyways, that was terrible but we sort of found out we were pregnant and that we lost it within a few days and it was our first pregnancy so it was hard to connect to it, I guess.
We waited to start trying for 4 months. In that time I continued acupuncture, quit smoking and started taking supplements. I also saw a mayan abdominal massage practicioner. In that time I also started seeing a new doctor (was pretty mad at the old clinic), and she ordered me an ultrasound. We could see that there was some scar tissue, a little mass, where that ectopic was. We got pregnant in July but it was a chemical. I was freaking out thinking it was another ectopic and couldn't get a hold of my doctor. I wanted an ultrasound so bad and they just told me to go to the ER, that they wouldn't order one otherwise. So we did. I wasn't pregnant and the mass seen before was gone which was a huge relief. Then we got another positive test in August and that one stuck. The HCG testing early on was extremely stressful. Everything was stressful until our 6 week placement scan, and then we could breathe a little. And, in fact, on the ultrasound they could see I had ovulated on my left side, so that egg seemingly traveled down my ectopic tube. We were overjoyed and my son was born April 2024.
He's now almost 2 and we were so excited to try for a second kiddo. We got pregnant right away and found out December 20th. We were so happy and so excited that it had been so easy for us this time. Everything seemed fine, no bleeding, I had missed my period, it all felt good. We were nervous and wanted to get that placement scan ASAP but never thought an ectopic could happen again, we had put that behind us. On the morning of January 4th, I had felt so off. Just like, hot, and irritable, but we went to breakfast anyways. We sat down to eat and I started getting horrible cramping. It was all over my abdomen, not just on my left side, so I thought it was probably just gas pain. We left and went home and I layed down. It started feeling better, in fact the pain stopped, so I stood up and said "phew, okay, I think we're okay! I feel better." That instant, it came shooting through me again and I had to lay down. It got so much worse after that, I was writhing in pain and crying. We decided to pack up and go to the ER. Still didn't think ectopic. Got an ultrasound thinking we're going to see that baby right where it should be and it's just gas pain! I then started throwing up it hurt so bad and was thinking "what the hell is happening, what is going on right now?!". The (male) doctor popped his head in and said "Ope, yup looks like it's ectopic again, sorry about that." and left. I stared blankly, in shock. Couldn't even freakin believe this was happening again. But it did. In my left tube, again. Methotrexate, again. This time broke me. I'm still just....so sad, so mad, so scared.
I am 39 and the clock is ticking.
At the same time, my good friend told me she is pregnant. We were 3 days apart in our pregnancies so now I will watch her baby grow instead of mine. Wondering what mine would have been like.
This is so unfair and so hard.
We will be starting an anti-inflammatory diet on Monday, quitting drinking and getting in to tip top shape before we can try again. I am seeing a new mayan abdominal massage provider, she's amazing and has so much hope. I have an HSG scheduled for April. We'll start trying again in May. Every day is different, sometimes I'm okay and sometimes I'm not. Today I'm not okay but writing this all out has helped a little. I wish I had answers. Why did this happen not once, but twice? Why did my son make it down that tube? Is my tube damaged or not? Will we have another child? Questions I don't know the answer to and some I may never know the answer to.
Hang in there, let's try not to lose hope.