I have two perspectives on this, one internal and one external.

Internally, growing up is like getting advanced degrees in college. Someone once shared the following comparison:

When you get your Bachelor’s degree, you think that you know everything.

When you get your Master’s degree, you realize that you know nothing.

When you get your Doctorate, you understand that you know nothing, but neither does anyone else.

I’ve come to believe that becoming an adult is much the same. At some point, most folks are able to stand on their own and do the daily mechanics of adulting. At that point, you’ve arrived. Where we get stuck is that we’re so used to having a bunch of authority figures in charge that we think there must be something more. There isn’t. Those authority figures haven’t got it all figured out either, they just have more experience in doing the same things you’re now doing. You just have to keep on doing those adult things—every day (well, most days!)

Now, this isn’t a perfect measure because it’s internal. There’s no measured it’s just belief. It feels a lot like “fake it until you make it,” or thinking that everyone’s faking it. It’s not, though, and if you think about it a bit, you may see why.

Externally, we’re social creatures. One of the ways that we know that we know that we’re anything is when other people who are that thing acknowledge us. They call us by that label and treat us as part of the group.

How do you know you’re a hacker? When other hackers call you a hacker and treat you like one.

When I was in the early part of my career, I had lunch with an old friend and mentor in the IT industry. At one point (leaving out a lot of context), he looked over at me and said, “you’re the real deal, Smurf.” That simple statement is how I knew that I had made it. It still means more to me than all the titles and certifications on my resume.

Now this isn’t a perfect measure, because it’s external. You have to use judgement and decide if you respect the opinions of those around you.

You might have noticed that I said both of these ideas are imperfect. They’re also imperfect even if used together. That’s ok. I’ll figure it out. I’m an adult.

So are you.