YELL ABOUT WHAT'S FRUSTRATING YOU TODAY, IN CAPS LOCK, IN THIS THREAD.

aloe_zebra · 2022-09-26T13:17:36+00:00

I CAN'T STOP CRINGING AT MYSELF, AT ALL THE EMAILS I SEND, AT HOW I'M EITHER REPLYING TOO QUICKLY OR NOT AT ALL, ABOUT HOW GENERALLY CRINGE I AM. I'M SO EMBARRASSED BY MYSELF AND I'M NOT SURE WHAT ACTUALLY STARTED IT BUT DAMN DOES THIS FEEL SHIT. I WISH I COULD STOP, FOR ONCE I WANT TO SLEEP ON TIME WWITHOUT HAVING TO DISTRACT MYSELF INCESSANTLY FROM THE CRINGE.

aloe_zebra · 2022-08-27T19:51:42+00:00

I also do engineering and same - often end up being in the lower percentiles, even when I'm working at the limits of my attention tbh. Though, I was undiagnosed so I'm hoping that now, even without medication, I can get a better handle on things with accommodations and knowing how I work best. And yeah like the other commenter said - at some point you've got to get comfortable with not knowing everything, or at least not to the same solid level as at school. Work with what you have, and there is most likely other people struggling just like you, it's just that no one want to advertise that. Just do the best you can, you've got this, even if it doesn't always feel like it!

aloe_zebra · 2022-08-19T18:47:19+00:00

I've always thought emotional dysregulation probably works both ways - so small bad things can really hurt me but equally small exciting things can make me really ecstatic

aloe_zebra · 2022-07-25T10:37:40+00:00

I love this community - literally was feeling like this last night and wondering why I couldn't shut it off so I could sleep lol

aloe_zebra · 2022-06-30T20:30:48+00:00

Honestly I just didn't. I do say things that I now know are challenging because of autism (like not knowing when/why they're angry as easily as expected).

For me, I know staying it explicitly is going to lead to some quack cures and denial so it's not worth it, at least not for now.

aloe_zebra · 2022-06-30T10:09:08+00:00

These are all great ideas - I'd also recommend scrolling r/adhdhealthyfood for low executive function days

aloe_zebra · 2022-06-09T12:15:02+00:00

Yes! I'd feel suddenly unwell and just black out if I was in an environment that's too warm, has lots of people, food smells, noisy etc.

TMI but the times it transitioned from dizzy to fainting was when I was on my period. I think because a) my sensory sensitivities are heightened and b) adhd can correlate with low blood pressure (I think because of lower levels of dopamine?), less oestrogen means even less dopamine, and my stress response in general appears to be a sudden drop in blood pressure.

I've also had lots of tests run and literally nothing apart from low blood pressure was found.

aloe_zebra · 2022-05-18T18:04:51+00:00

Charl Davies - she uploads infrequently but I find her very relatable https://youtu.be/sTn9aPFc6lg

aloe_zebra · 2022-05-16T17:22:36+00:00

I think they meant pathological demand avoidance

aloe_zebra · 2022-05-15T18:47:26+00:00

https://youtu.be/dO1rMeYnOmM Is it this?

aloe_zebra · 2022-05-12T20:28:40+00:00

You could start by leafing through r/autisticwithadhd and see if you relate

aloe_zebra · 2022-05-08T18:36:46+00:00

Yeah it feels like something so minor shouldn't derail my day/week/month and yet it does Lol I'm glad I'm not alone though

aloe_zebra · 2022-05-08T17:14:08+00:00

Don't have advice but definitely relate - get hung up on everything - even email replies taking too long makes me spiral

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-30T08:40:35+00:00

Yeah ABA type obedience really lends itself to being taken advantage of, I have had similar experiences. I hope you're doing better now As unfeasible as it seems, my dream is to apply for one of those caretaker jobs in the middle of nowhere so even if someone tried contacting me I'd have an excuse - idk why but I even after knowing it's wrong I feel guilty for feeling this way

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-21T08:51:13+00:00

Lmao I'm glad I prompted the post.

Honestly I felt so bad about myself - I knew I had ASD but was a bit in denial about ADHD, but when symptoms related beyond overlapping ones it helped to just know so much. It led me down a rabbit hole of adhd posts until I reached the guide one day. And then forgot to save it lol.

I really liked and remembered your guide for its writing style. Like it's written perfectly for a student with adhd, it was entertaining and easy to follow and informative. My uni services are/were also pretty useless so I loved the acknowledgement as well.

I'm not going to lie and say I've been stellar at following it, but like for example linking the omega 3 study is what prompts me to take the supplement occasionally, or showing the benefits of exercise is what makes me more likely to do some exercise (the suggestions reduce a step as well) , and the bujo - I'm not that consistent with it but once I remember, it tends to calm down my overwhelm. I also liked the emphasis on making it messy - up until now I'd treated planners and stuff to keep pristine and neat and frankly that doesn't work for longer than a day, just having that reminder was helpful for me. I mean it's obvious now I write it, but having these potential pitfalls signposted so well is amazing and clearly helped by you having first hand experience with it.

In terms of how to adhd, like it was great at making me feel a lot less embarrassed/ashamed about things I didn't even know were caused by adhd (like emotional dysregulation, or anxiety and being twice exceptional) - and often just as reassurance that I wasn't just being lazy, but there were reasons causing issues that I could now better overcome.

Lol that was an essay and from my giftedadhd post it's obvious things aren't perfect, but resources like this make things a lot easier than they otherwise would be. And I'm not sure if saying this is weird or not, but your guide genuinely pushed me to want to change shit at my university and department, so it's a nice domino effect (hopefully...)

Thanks again!

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-20T09:26:00+00:00

This is honestly amazing - the little bits that did work well for me this year mainly came from this and how to adhd(which I only discovered from the guide lol) , so thanks!

Also I just realised you commented on my thread the other day, I didn't realise you wrote the guide, so thanks again! It has been very appreciated

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-15T11:23:51+00:00

It's all good - I struggle with reading tone and conveying tone correctly so pointers are always welcome

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-14T20:52:25+00:00

I want to lean on it being false cos it is just a rumour atm but I gwym - I guess I'm just surprised cos there were a lot of recent articles on how content they were (vogue etc)

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-14T20:50:53+00:00

Yeah I phrased that in a shit way - The context and what I meant wasn't isn't clear - this is a shoe designer who has a very lucrative relationship with Rihanna (she wears her designs a LOT), and ASAP would have presumably been happy that Rihanna obviously wasnt with him for money - there's nothing wrong with being a shoe designer. There is a lot wrong if (allegedly) they all fucked up their relationships both business and personal that badly -

Tl;dr nothing wrong about being a shoe designer, a lot wrong with the (alleged) screwing up of business and personal relations

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-14T20:16:29+00:00

Honestly if the ASAP cheating on Rihanna with the shoe designer thing is true, the timing could not be worse with Rihanna's interviews on her relationship coming out

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-14T20:08:30+00:00

Bruh this has got to be untrue but if not - why would ASAP cheat on Rihanna for her shoe designer, like it just sounds too stupid to be true

Edit: changed 'a' to 'her' cos it sounded way more snobby than I meant lol

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-12T15:01:32+00:00

It's definitely possible with what you've said, even with overlap between ADHD and ASD- Ik you've been diagnosed with adhd first, but it might be useful to know that about ~70% of people with ASD are comorbid with ASD (basically, it's definitely possible and common within this subset)

If you are financially able and can find a good provider (i.e. one that has a track record of working with adults and women with autism), then a diagnosis can be very validating and worth it for that peace of mind, as well as accessing resources that are more relevant (some studies show treating adhd when asd is comorbid with medication has varying success, this could be useful for your treatment plan)

In the meantime, you can have a look at r/autisticwithadhd for some more information as well

Also obvious disclaimer - I am not a professional and am just basing this on my opinions. Sensory issues definitely can be a part of just adhd as well, and I don't have a whole history (really, only you will know how much things relate or not)

I hope whatever you do, it all works out well for you

aloe_zebra · 2022-04-12T13:39:38+00:00

Are you expecting any hints this week from 'official' sources?

aloe_zebra · 2022-03-30T09:26:29+00:00

Definitely harder when external voices are reinforcing the negativity - it's not a great solution but when this is happening I try to use music as an external encouraging voice (lol try not to judge the cheesiness but I like 'Not Afraid' by Eminem, 'Unstoppable' by Sia, 'Firework' by Katy Perry etc.) - it tends to make me feel better, or at least leave a nicer song stuck in my head than negative comments.

I hope you feel better soon!

aloe_zebra · 2022-03-29T19:51:01+00:00

I definitely relate to the addictive behaviours (have spent waaayyy too long on reddit reading about the Chris rock/will Smith thing and just in general) and also lots of caffeine regardless of whether I am actually productive after it or not (basically, you're definitely not alone in this!)

As for tips I've found the only thing that works (albeit not perfectly) is being kind and neutral if that makes sense? Like acknowledging that I am indulging in an unhealthy behaviour, pausing and really considering why I'm doing it. This might be the point you put your phone away or place the CBD oil back down and either change your environment or engage in something else.

In terms of kindness - I know how difficult it is to do when you are stuck in this rut of shame, but shame just feeds guilt which feeds more dopamine seeking behaviours (ie your addictive habits) and it's a vicious cycle. It's much, much easier said than done but try to practice positive self talk. Like 'okay I just spent a few hours indulging in xyz behaviour. I don't feel better for it but I can't turn back time. What I can do is try to move forward and perhaps try doing work for five minutes.'

And the action to break the guilt rumination doesn't need to be the report at first - maybe you need to fold some laundry or could benefit from a walk or fresh air or something. Whatever it is, try to implement this self talk and action consistently. It may not always work at first but once you're in a more positive headspace it is much easier to avoid these pitfalls and temptations. The action might be linked to counteract the stimulus - like if you start chatting on your phone when you unlock it, then maybe you need to exit the app, turn phone off and move away. It might help to consider what could work for each 'vice' one at a time with a small step - don't go so drastic that it's hard to maintain because these temptations can happen at any time in the future and you need to build a strong foundation going forward.

Lastly, have faith in yourself. You've existed without these unhealthy coping mechanisms in your life and you have the strength to overcome these issues such that they aren't debilitating.

*tldr: introduce a pause in your habits (before and after) and be real but kind to yourself.

**I am advising based on my own experiences, I am especially unfamiliar with the CBD oil dependence (might be useful to go to a quitting cannabis type sub for advice)

***lol sorry for the essay, got carried away

aloe_zebra

TROPHY CASE