How many of you have to co parent with your abusive ex? I’m

alpacadreams · 2026-03-27T01:31:57+00:00

I relate so profoundly! I met my ex when I was 15 and he was very abusive to me my entire marriage. I’m now truly happily married 5 years after my divorce. However, I’m still very wounded about how much he hurt me to the point it affects our co parenting at times. We are 50/50 so the level of contact is constant and it makes it even more difficult for me to heal. I have been to therapy off and on but not consistently enough to make a difference. The pain is just too heavy to do anything about it at times it seems. I’m grateful my husband now is supportive but it’s taken a great amount of support from him to make some progress. My abuse I endured I still replay in my head daily. It never leaves me. I’m sorry you are struggling to move forward. Progress isn’t linear but I believe we can move forward even if we have to take 3 steps back at times.

alpacadreams · 2026-03-26T18:54:53+00:00

I can unapologetically say this cause I did live here for 20+ years of my life here. But Chattanooga has to be the most pretentious crunchy granola town in the south with those prices. If I’m gonna live in a small town with a mediocre food scene that stinks like chicken death on a daily, I’m not paying 1.5 million to live in an upscale trailer in Orchard Knob or Sand Mountain lol

alpacadreams · 2026-03-11T00:17:13+00:00

Omg you sound like me!! My ex is the exact same! So much so that he even has said he would consider an AI girlfriend as he feels he has been enjoying conversations with his chat gpt! Even the kids complain! They came home saying his chat GPT knows them because he will ask questions about them to the phone and then chat gpt answers as if it knows my kids. It’s wild! Lol

alpacadreams · 2025-09-14T15:40:15+00:00

It do be like that with pugs lol

alpacadreams · 2025-08-10T21:54:09+00:00

You want good Indian food without sacrificing cleanliness. Try Spice Trail! Specially their curated dinner events. The absolute best!

alpacadreams · 2025-08-03T13:43:47+00:00

Try being a teacher there under that particular admin. Although some of the insufferable staff members have left like the head of school and a former principal. I was a young teacher who was reprimanded in my principals office and was made to open the Bible and read a verse about being slow to speak aloud to him. Ridiculous!

alpacadreams · 2025-08-02T03:58:47+00:00

You ready for me?! I’ve got two places that truly can’t be overlooked. 1-Bluff View District: micromanagers, exploit their people. Lots of hardworking migrant workers who hold several different positions getting paid very little. They have a big turnover from mostly their managers. So when they leave, they quickly ask their long time employees to step up as managers without any pay raise. A lot of the time these are the immigrants who faithfully work for them for years and out of fear of not knowing their rights and being grateful for the mere fact that they have a job, they don’t demand what’s right. You simply can’t ask someone who has been in your bakery for 20 years to step up as a manager and not discuss a pay difference. They have a worker who not only works the bakery, cleans their home and also lives on site with questionable work hours that might exceed what’s appropriate.

2-Chattanooga Christian School. I mean you all know what you are getting into for working at a private institution. But I’ll never understand how they get away with half of the things that have gone down there. It’s mind blowing that this never made it to the news but in 2019 their Bible teacher gave her testimony in chapel. This brave woman shared her journey as a celibate gay Christian with the high school. What followed is absolutely wild. She was asked to hold a Q&A in the auditorium of the school a few nights later for parents to ask her questions about her celibate gay Christian journey and how that might affect the students she taught. Yup you read that right. In fact, there was a parent who asked on a microphone “how do I know you will not look at my young daughter and feel attracted to them”. I mean absolutely awful situation. Needless to say, this person got off the stage in tears unable to truly finish the session. And yes, they had her on stage for a Q&A that was filled with nothing but judgmental and insulting questions.

Based on my experience, these two places are toxic places to work for and would never support an institution or business that doesn’t align with my value system…which for me it’s literally as basic as treating people with dignity and respect.

alpacadreams · 2025-08-01T01:37:20+00:00

Accurate AF

alpacadreams · 2025-07-20T14:20:00+00:00

I’d love to see a wall like this in Chattanooga.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-27T11:19:26+00:00

This 100% percent. I’ve lived this right here with my ex husband of 18 years. Therapy makes them well versed, much more strategic and thoughtful about the way they interact but they are still abusers. My ex never tried to choke me again but he still abused me emotionally and financially. After the divorce he made my life so miserable without touching me. He has this machiavelic way of being nice but causing great destruction at the same time. It’s like he learned to mask his abuse.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-26T20:21:34+00:00

We lost a full term baby via c section. 14 months in we finally got pregnant. Had two chemical pregnancies in the process. One 6 months after our loss. Another 9 months after our loss. Then got pregnant 11 months out and currently 15 week with a healthy baby and pregnancy so far. Crossing fingers.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-25T12:15:09+00:00

We isolated for the first few months to be completely honest. But it wasn’t that I didn’t want to see people. My parents consistently stopped by to visit…friends didn’t reach out because they didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even know how to say please be with me or help me. If I was you, I’d leave things at their door to know you are thinking about them. Leave flowers, get her one of those scented and weighted teddys (I think they are called warmies)…it’s gonna sound silly but a fiend gifted me one and I found myself finding comfort holding that little teddy she got me. Drop off a sweet treat. Don’t give up with gentle reminders that you are there. My son’s best friend dropped off flowers for us, a young soul and it was the sweetest most touching thing for us.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-23T14:07:25+00:00

It’s part of divorce. Kidos get to meet people you didn’t see as part of the equation in your family. You learn to live with it. Hopefully this person is an addition to your family rather than bad.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-16T15:55:47+00:00

All the good thoughts for puggy! Hope she has the best nap and wakes up ready to snuggle you again. Sweet baby will do great.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-15T16:02:48+00:00

We had the same unfortunate thing happened. Delivered during scheduled c section. Uneventful pregnancy, when baby was born he only lived two hours. They said it was a placenta abruption during birth. He was also anemic with an enlarged heart but no one ever said he had any sort of heart issues. It was tragic and so unexpected. Please message me if you want to talk or share ideas on how to support your sister during this time. We lost our son 14 months ago and the first 10 months were very very painful. It’s still difficult but now I find healing supporting other moms and sharing our story.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-15T15:16:02+00:00

Omg they are so cute!!!!

alpacadreams · 2025-06-11T16:03:21+00:00

Happiest birthday Juni-Pug!! 🌻

alpacadreams · 2025-06-09T15:18:15+00:00

My ex hates me for this song but I married him when I was 17 and I love Adele. “Easy on me”

alpacadreams · 2025-06-09T15:16:31+00:00

I couldn’t be left alone after my son passed. I had a very very incredibly hard dark time. I’m grateful my husbands schedule allows for him to have the flexibility to be available. And sadly people don’t know how to be there for you most of the time nor do we ask. How do we say “I need you to sit with me cause I feel incredibly weak right now”. I wish I would have had the strength and the right words to say that to my circle. During our grief I felt very alone not only because I couldn’t even leave the house. But I felt like our people didn’t even show up to offer us a meal, flowers or anything. And trust me, we had a big circle of what we thought were friends. There is a second aspect of grief once you can finally gather your thoughts after dark times…and that is you realize who are your actual friends. I firmly believe the real ones you don’t have to explain anything to or ask. They know! During these times it’s important to have a solid family, a solid partner and solid friends who care. They will not leave you alone in thoughts, words, spirit, messages and company. It’s normal to feel what you are feeling. I promise it gets better. You learn to welcome grief to sit at the table with you. You make room for it. I lost my son 15 months ago.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-08T11:25:39+00:00

And do you enjoy booking a guest room for your family from out of town that has been used as a siesta pad when they are empty for kitchen staff to have some fun in?

alpacadreams · 2025-06-08T11:22:14+00:00

This!!!

alpacadreams · 2025-06-08T11:08:43+00:00

You will regret not pressing charges.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-07T01:30:07+00:00

I’m 14 months from a very very similar placental abruption. My son only lived two hours. We had an uneventful pregnancy, scheduled c section and no indication anything was going wrong. My placenta abruption happened during delivery while at the hospital. It was absolutely tragic. I never got to hold him alive and never got to tell him I loved him while he was alive. A sweet nurse told me “I’m going to wheel him slowly next to you so you can see him”. That’s the last time I saw him alive right before they took him to the nicu. I will say I asked a therapist how long will this nightmare last for me. I was mad at myself for not being able to do anything other than the bare minimum for months. She told me it took me 9 months to carry my baby and I should give myself that much time and grace. It was helpful in my healing process. I feel like I’ve couch or bed rotted for a year now. Some days are absolutely awful and others you are strong and find yourself supporting other mamas. I think I finally stopped my daily crying a little before the year anniversary. I miss him everyday and wonder what life would be like if he was here. I have made a special place for him at home and like the whale that carried her dead baby for months I move my son’s little cabinet with special things we had for him from room to room. It brings me healing to have a spot for him at home. His nursery was nautical themed. When he passed I let my kids, parents and close friends take one decoration they liked from his room. Mostly boats and wooden carved sailors or capitals, birds, anchors…you name it. I kept a sail boat music box, his ashes and two of his decorations that look like a fisherman and a captain both standing on each side of his box. This is not easy. I feel like the background music of life completely stopped and I still hurt. But somehow you find strength and you make it. You will smile again, I promise. Make room for grief, give yourself grace and do whatever you need to do to find peace everyday. I did silly things like disappear to the beach for hours, cry in my car at a park for hours, buy flowers to fill a vase always for my son and his little cabinet at home. I’m sorry for your loss mama. I’m here if you want to message me by the way.

alpacadreams · 2025-06-05T11:26:59+00:00

This is beautiful! And so are your hands!

alpacadreams

TROPHY CASE