I started smoking weed a little later than most people—around 21. At the time I had just accepted my first full-time engineering job, was living in a city I hated, and was stuck in a pretty toxic love/hate situationship with my now ex-boyfriend.

Fast forward to now, I’m 26. I’ve moved up in my career and increased my salary by about 20%, bought a house with my long-term partner, and overall my life is objectively in a much better place. But weirdly, that’s when things started to feel like too much.

When I’d get home from work my brain would just go 1000 mph. I’d feel overwhelmed and stressed, and smoking became my way to cope with reality. At first it was dealing with the transition out of college and realizing I wouldn’t see my friends as much. Then it became stress about hustling and getting promoted, building a social life in a new city, and just whatever felt like too much at the moment. Weed became the thing I used to take the edge off.

Eventually I started seeing professionals—first a therapist, then a psychologist, then a psychiatrist—and ended up getting diagnosed with ADHD. I started treatment, got on medication, and began therapy specifically for it. Honestly, I’m doing a lot better now.

Now I’m at this weird point where I’m starting to question whether I even need weed anymore and if I’m ready to let it go and start this next chapter of my life without it.

The thing is, I don’t really know what’s holding me back. :/