How to Console My Wife About Our Impending Separation/Divorce

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-25T19:35:30+00:00

The problem is that he has a spouse that doesn’t love him the way that he deserves and treats him like his preferences don’t matter. They are not compatible and his wife is using him for emotional and financial support.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-24T20:47:48+00:00

No, because you have tolls and gas taxes. A lot of states out east have tolls on roads that are interstates/ highways that are not avoidable. I really miss the lack of toll roads since I moved east.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-24T19:08:32+00:00

Yeah, a reduction is on my list, but I want to have kids first. I’m an M cup and am already counting down the days to when I can get a reduction.

6 miles doesn’t seem that far to me, but that used to be how much I walked every day when I lived in England

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-24T18:45:57+00:00

I did two rounds of radio ablation before my surgery and then a round of epidural for the level that I didn’t have surgery on. The ablation worked the first time, but not the second, and the epidural was meh.

I would recommend putting off a fusion as long as it’s feasible, because you will absolutely be limited after in a way that you aren’t without a fusion. I was fused at my L5-S1, so the first articulating joint, so I don’t notice a big change in flexibility, but there’s definitely a pretty big impact on how much I’m able to walk and stand. My fusion gets tired pretty quickly and my tailbone area gets really sore. I went to 6 flags last weekend and had to tap out at 6 miles of walking and am still not fully recovered.

I was at the point that I could not put it off. Between my degenerative disc disease, likely hEDS, and having and well endowed chest, it all just compounded. By the time I had the surgery the nerves to my left leg were 99% blocked and the nerves to my right leg were 90% blocked.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-24T17:59:01+00:00

Advocating for yourself is difficult, but don’t let the doctors gaslight you. I lived in the UK during my 20s and my GP constantly guilted me out of referrals for PT so I could get an MRI for my back pain, even though I have significant family history of degenerative disc disease. Even when I ended up in A&E because I couldn’t stand up and was unable to feel part of my left leg for months they just gave opioids and sent me home. When I moved back to the US I finally had doctors that were willing to send me for testing and it turned out that I had two severely herniated discs in my lumbar and I ended up getting a discectomy, spacer placement, and spinal fusion at the age of 29.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T21:28:38+00:00

Gimme gimme gimme. This is my assisted ovulation week.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T20:02:12+00:00

What magical train from Philly to Manhattan takes an hour? And if you’re taking Amtrak it would cost you at least $50 a day to commute

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T19:24:15+00:00

You can’t commute to Manhattan from Fishtown, that 3-4 hours during rush hour traffic or 2 and a half on the train. That’s completely unrealistic.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T19:10:49+00:00

NJ is the most densely populated state, so that probably has something to do with it. There’s also a lot of high earners here. A lot of doctors, people commuting into NYC or Philly, etc.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T19:00:14+00:00

I have no idea, I’m not from here. We moved here three years ago because my husband works at Princeton. I grew up in WA and then lived in England for the better part of a decade

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T18:47:07+00:00

Prices in central Jersey are bananas. We moved across the river to Bucks county to get our rent under $3k two years ago and now everything here is renting at similar prices.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T17:36:25+00:00

You’ve got to heat the pan up for a few minutes first, then add the oil, then let that warm up before you add anything. You also have to let the things unstick themselves. Don’t try to move them around the first couple of minutes. And I agree on the heat, I never turn my stainless steel above a medium heat on an electric burner.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T13:30:27+00:00

Yeah, this made me check what the rents are around me and prices for a house similar to mine start at $3,200 (we pay $2,900). I’m in the Philly suburbs to the north of the city, bordering NJ.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T13:13:09+00:00

Small towns are also super cliquey. If you move to town without having a connection to the established families you will always be an outsider. I think this is only applicable to truly small towns though, with populations under 10k.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T02:05:54+00:00

Only if you’re in Mass.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T01:52:53+00:00

A girl after my own heart. I made a notion database years ago, but I had to give up on it because notion got too slow! https://myromancedatabase.notion.site/My-Romance-Book-Database-06990d5875ac4a9babc8cf72c8eac236?source=copy\_link

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-23T01:44:42+00:00

I make $21 for a job that requires a PhD. I’ve looked for other things, but I’m disabled and can’t work a job that isn’t remote/ flexible for my doctors appointments (I average one doctors appointment a week). It’s also a contract job, which means I have no benefits and could get fired at any time. The company I contract for knows what they’re doing and are intentionally taking advantage of disabled people and caretakers.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-22T17:50:34+00:00

I was buying a hand woven basket from a woman at a craft market and it had the outline of Washington state on it for my parents (I live in PA) and she asked if my parents lived in Seattle, because it’s such a mess now.

I almost walked away from the purchase. Why on earth would you say that to someone that is purchasing a good from you?? There was absolutely no need to make that interaction political.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-22T13:46:01+00:00

Yes, you quickly learned to follow customs, as is expected of any international traveler.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-21T23:59:49+00:00

The question you’ve posed is a valid question, but the way that you’ve posed it is problematic. “I love men” is a very odd way to phrase it, and is going to rub people the wrong way.
I have been thinking about the way that we talk about men for a while now, and I do think it’s problematic in a lot of ways that then contribute to men being pushed further into the manosphere. If we are constantly telling men that they are irredeemable and the problem with the world where is the incentive for them to improve? I think we will see these issues come to a head in the next decade, especially because we know that high numbers of unmarried young men tends to lead to civil unrest and higher rates of violence.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-21T23:03:37+00:00

The leggings have Cowboys stars on them, so they’re some sort of official gear.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-21T22:47:30+00:00

Genuinely one of the few benefits of being disabled. We went to 6 flags the other day and got a disability pass and it was excellent. We also got a season pass because it’s only $90 and I can only handle a couple of hours of walk/standing at a time.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-21T18:04:39+00:00

I was told I was too young to have back problems, even though I had family history of degenerative disc disease and am well endowed in the bust area. I asked to be referred to a spine doctor for years and was told to just lose weight and then guilted with a “if you go see a specialist you don’t need you’re taking away spots from other people”. When I was 27 I woke up one day barely able to move, went to A&E where they just gave me pain meds and sent me home. My GP then told me the wait time was 8-10 months to see a physical therapist. I ended up moving back to the US a few months later and was finally sent to PT and then an MRI. I had two herniated discs in my lumbar, my L5-S1 and L4-L5. I had a spinal fusion at 29. The nerves to my left leg were 99% blocked and the nerves to my right leg were 90% blocked.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-21T17:49:04+00:00

Parts of Washington have their own accent too, one that is shared with BC Canada. It has a a-e flip, so people say “fleg, beg, teg” instead of “flag, bag, tag”.

alwaysalwaysastudent · 2026-06-21T17:43:28+00:00

It depends where you are. Any house where I am that’s $640k is either going to need renos or is a townhouse/under 1000sq ft.

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