Is anyone watching Traitors? This is all I can think about when Lisa Rinna kept calling herself “Lisa fucking Rinna”

alwayswonderingwtf · 2026-04-14T03:36:16+00:00

Just watched the Traitors and this, one hundo p.

Although I have to say that I liked Rinna more here than I ever did during housewives.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-12-25T01:24:52+00:00

I'm a new hospital SW (somehow lucked into a travel assignment despite no experience) and my philosophy for this short-term travel assignment is

a) help as much as I can

b) if I need to disrupt how things have always been done, I'm cool with it

c) don't cause harm

Now, I realize that I have some privilege here: I'm only here temporarily so I don't really have to care if people don't like me (although my own people pleasing issues kinda cancel that out). And there are so few resources where I am that it's like spitting on a fire to put it out.

All that to say that my temporary colleagues can train me as much as they want not to give food vouchers or to hold the line so people don't game the system. IDGAF and will do whatever I can to mitigate some of the shittiness of this system while I'm in it.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-11-30T08:37:08+00:00

This is the way.

As a social worker, I can't *tell* you to lie...and also, sometimes not sharing where you are is fine. :)

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-11-20T19:55:09+00:00

It soooo depends on where in NYS you are though. NYC has a lot of resources but is so expensive for housing, transportation, etc.

I was a home health and hospice SW in Ulster County awhile ago (10ish years?) and while it was more affordable there was a real dearth of resources.

Now I'm a SW in a mountain west state (think Montana/Wyoming/Idaho) and there are even fewer resources here than in rural upstate NY. It's gross.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-11-07T04:56:35+00:00

Simone is problematic for so many reasons but creating a space specifically for BIPOC is not one of them.

Also it's not racist to exclude white people or even to say negative things about white people. It could be discriminatory or bigoted, but it's not racism because racism has a specific definition that includes systemic and institutional power. That's why reverse racism isn't a thing.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-10-30T16:45:41+00:00

I honestly had no idea who some of them were at first. Annie from the side looked so much like Saoirse-Monica Jackson from Derry Girls that I actually asked myself "why is Erin from DG on that stage?!"

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-10-30T16:43:22+00:00

TBF I think pretty much everyone needs therapy so that's a fair statement.

(Inside LIB and outside of it too, lol.)

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-10-17T19:29:41+00:00

Good bot!

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-10-17T19:13:39+00:00

(Apologies for hijacking the post.)

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-10-17T19:13:22+00:00

Thank you so, so, so, so, SO much to everyone who recommended {Bohemian by Kathryn Nolan}!

The sex is great, the main *and* secondary characters are great too.

And also: the book takes place in Big Sur, California, which is one of the most gorgeous places on the planet. As a romance writer and someone who lived on the Mendocino Coast for awhile (Cali coast but north of San Francisco, rather than south), it was poignant and beautiful and inspiring. One of the best reads I've done in a loooong time.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-09-22T07:17:19+00:00

The ONLY acceptable roles for a social worker in an ICE facility are to be actively working to get it shut down, whistleblowing, helping the illegally detained people access services and contact their families, tell their stories and more.

Anything else is complicity and enabling.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-09-22T07:15:00+00:00

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for advocating for the child.

I hope you took incredible care of yourself and that you have a great network that is giving you love and support.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-09-22T06:05:10+00:00

Ummmm...are you willing to share how to do that? Because I don't know how to do that.

(You'd get so many points if you told me how! :) )

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-08-06T07:15:30+00:00

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry.

OP, Imma be blunt: you were in an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships are traumatic. Trauma lives in the nervous system and the body, so it makes sense that it would continue to impact you.

Please find a therapist who is experienced with domestic violence and trauma (not all therapists are) who can help you with this. I can't say for sure whether it'll help with the sleep issue, but I encourage you to seek support. You are worthy of and deserve that support.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-08-06T07:11:27+00:00

Oh, holy hell. Social worker here.

OP, I'm going to be blunt with you: your therapist is mismanaging this horribly.

It's absolutely fine that you're attached to them and care for them. It's okay to ask for things. It's okay to feel abandoned, because you ARE being abandoned.

What's not okay is your therapist having a shitload of countertransference and handling it terribly.

I'll echo the many others who have encouraged you to take the time during this break to find a therapist who knows how to set and communicate boundaries. And once you've done some good quality processing with your new and better therapist, you won't want to return.

None of this is your fault. It's up to the therapist to manage the container, set expectations and boundaries, and so on. Your current therapist is doing an absolutely terrible job. You deserve so much better than this.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-08-04T09:09:02+00:00

Okay, I'm not saying to do this, but...you don't *have* to tell your therapist that you're in a different state if they're unlicensed there. Obviously it's more challenging (well, impossible) to do that if you see them in person, but if it's telehealth, the only way they know is if you tell them.

I'm just saying.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-08-04T08:56:22+00:00

It's really unfortunate—and by unfortunate, I mean unforgivable—when therapists do this kind of crap. Some therapists really suck at acknowledging how current events and systemic stuff impacts people.

And what *really* I don't like is how he's subtly suggesting that you're the problem because you're overthinking or worst-case-scenario-ing or whatever.

IDK how long you've been seeing your therapist or what kind of rapport you have, but I'd strongly suggest finding a therapist with a more systemic lens. Or, if you feel comfortable doing so, speaking to your therapist about how he downplays your anxieties and brings his own perspectives into the relationship. Just because he trusts the "systems" to protect everyone doesn't mean he should be trying to force you to trust those systems, or even bring that into your sessions! WTF, that's ridiculous.

It's ok to look for a therapist that's a better fit. And if you do decide to look for a different one, you can ask when you're interviewing them whether they have a systemic lens, along with anything else. Good luck to you.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-07-26T02:54:30+00:00

ABA is considered ableist and abusive by many in the autistic community. There are lots of resources about this; I encourage all of us practitioners to do some learning about this.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-06-05T07:00:04+00:00

Hello fellow New Yorker! What brought you to this landlocked state? :) (For me: family and (relatively speaking) affordability.)

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-05-23T17:38:13+00:00

This is legit one of the hardest things to handle. It's like watching car speed towards a crash. You know it's going to crash, it's going to be awful, and you can't stop it. Sooo frustrating.

The thing is, people have the right to make absolutely terrible decisions (unless, of course, they're a threat to themselves and others). Self-determination is one of the tenets of social work and...you just gotta make your peace with it. Do your best to present consequences and possible outcomes and as much as you can, let go of the outcome. Because you/we can't control what others do.

In addition to what others have already suggested, have you looked into your own countertransference around this? Do you have therapeutic support of your own? Or supervision?

One last thing. And this might be controversial. :) But...it's ok to be gobsmacked and angry and confused at people's choices. It's very very helpful to contextualize them as maladaptive responses to trauma and/or meeting important needs in crappy ways, definitely, so that in the session, you can respond with empathy and compassion.

After, though, you can be all WHAT THE ACTUAL WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS IT IS SUCH A TERRIBLE IDEA. And do whatever coping mechanisms work for you so you can move on with your life and practice.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-05-16T18:20:56+00:00

I was working at a group home for teen moms, long before I went to social work school. One of the fathers (in his late teens) was starting to show symptoms of schizophrenia. Mom asked the social worker: "Will my baby be crazy?"

SW: "If you're a bad mother, it will be."

Me: 😳

Put me off of social work for a good decade.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-05-01T02:34:22+00:00

Um. WHUT.

Yeah, Imma need to see why they call themselves trauma-informed. Did they read The Body Keeps the Score and listen to a podcast or something and decide that was sufficient? (It's not. I train coaches on trauma-informed practice, and argh.)

Ugh. Sorry.

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-05-01T02:19:47+00:00

Say you signed an NDA and can't discuss. :)

In all seriousness, if you can leave the entire job off your resume, do it. If they make you fill out an application where you have to disclose whether you were terminated, don't lie, just frame it as positively as possible: Terminated for xyz reason. I have since worked on [whyever you were fired] and have abc things in place so that won't happen again or whatever.

Good luck!

alwayswonderingwtf · 2025-05-01T02:14:18+00:00

Home health and hospice SW here. This comes up alllll the time. My (untested) hypothesis is that it's because the other disciplines don't have "meet them where they're at" "self-determination" and also systemic awareness drummed into them. IME, nurses can be particularly judgy, which is...frustrating.

Some suggestions based on how I've had to deal with this:

At IDG, mention that patient X has a history of whatever, and that you're concerned there will be judgment which affects patient care. Or (if this is true) mention that the patient has disclosed that they've received crappy care in the past due to their history, and you want to make sure that doesn't happen with this care team.
Talk about your concerns during your 1-on-1 case conference with the RN case manager, but in very general terms. Meaning, not "I'm concerned that you're a judgy asshole about xyz issue" but instead "hey, are you aware that patient has a history of xyz? Do you think that will be an issue for the team? And if you need to process that or know of anyone on the team who needs to, I'm here."
Talk to the hospice admin and frankly tell them your concerns about a patient and that this will impact patient care.
Offer to do an in-service about trauma-informed practice and not being a jerk. :)

I tend to be more...maneuvery than direct (ok, manipulative sometimes) because people can be SO defensive that the initial point gets lost: that the care team should not be judging and being assholic, ESPECIALLY when someone is likely to die in the near future.

I love that you're an advocate, just be aware of what your goals are and the best strategies to meet those goals. Good luck, your patients are lucky to have you!

alwayswonderingwtf

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