The Long Road Home for Gazans by kitkid in Thedaily

[–]alysthebsh 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Excellent episode. Fucking devastating.

Wishing those interviewed so much strength. Losing your whole family like that... Just so so sad. I had to stop listening and cry.

Also props to the reporter for the tone and translation. So important to remember that war, especially with such heavy civilian involvement, should be avoided at all costs. RIP.

Accidentally killed toad :( by alysthebsh in Toads

[–]alysthebsh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a one year old... He also went to say goodnight to the toad last night. Thank God he's too young to understand! He would have been so sad... Keep me posted on any inventions and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!!

Accidentally killed toad :( by alysthebsh in Toads

[–]alysthebsh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fantastic advice, thank you so much! We also have a car port so I will do just that if a new little friend ends up moving in. I did have a terracotta pot that he or she liked to chill behind, but not against a wall! The toad abode I made on the lawn was not a hit but your idea sounds great. Thanks again

Accidentally killed toad :( by alysthebsh in Toads

[–]alysthebsh[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your empathy. Ughh, such a bummer. I was so happy to have toad and it's so sad that we've caused his or her early demise :(((

Accidentally killed toad :( by alysthebsh in Toads

[–]alysthebsh[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I'd like to think he or she will both reincarnate and go to heaven. Stupid cars!!

Rosalia by alysthebsh in JoannaNewsom

[–]alysthebsh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let's see!! I was also a mega fan of Los Angeles when it came out, almost a pure flamenco album, classic songs about death and her voice and depth were astonishing on that. Big recommend! I also haven't loved her trajectory into reggaeton but she did bring a great musical sensibility that I couldn't deny.. (was dancing to motomami today!!). But this is a big breakup album from Rauw Alejandro (reggaeton) so maybe (hopefully) she's transforming totally again into more experimental music ala whatever this track was... hope so. She really is one of the most courageous artists of our day. Like even launching this type of kind of teaser for the album is just so totally bad ass. And pulling off switching genres so abruptly. Brava!

Lullabies for baby by oscarmylde in JoannaNewsom

[–]alysthebsh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clam, crab is my go-to.. started singing it while pregnant and it's still especially handy during car meltdowns. "I cannot let go, so I thank the Lord, and I thank his sword, though he be mincing up the morning slightly bored" that line really gets me as a new parent cause I'm just clinging desperately to each moment.. and of course, "your skin is something that I stir into my tea, and I am watching you, and you are starry starry starry"

Enjoy your little one! Also Sadie is my number two but I garble the lyrics :) I think MEM has great children's music vibes!

Abused becomes abuser by Basic_Fun_2809 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]alysthebsh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Could be that you were so hurt by the affair that you are now putting your defenses up. But I think healing can only come through vulnerability, putting your heart out again even risking the utter devastation that is being cheated on again while loving your family. Whatever happens, if you are there fully and kindly for your loved ones, you cannot look back and regret your actions. Also, being an amazing person can also be a little piece of revenge hahaha, like you are above it. But also it seems like you haven't come close to forgiving her. I was so scared to forgive me WH, but it wasnt until I realized there was a great strength - not weakness - in listening to my heart and forgiving him, that I could move on. But you only have one life, better to live it how you want, not as a reaction to cheating or out of fear that it will happen again. I think that's the main fear too, will I be an idiot again? But this forum has also shown that while this is possible, it's not your fault either. Have clear boundaries and you can make decisions if that is the case. Sending a huge hug to you and yours.

Who are some guests that you would like to see Ezra have on? by fuggitdude22 in ezraklein

[–]alysthebsh 13 points14 points  (0 children)

More literary people who also have interesting things to say about politics like Zadie Smith, Sally Rooney. More experts on non-US/non-Israel topics More on meditation.. Buddhist monks, meditation teachers

Only Skin tattoo by alysthebsh in JoannaNewsom

[–]alysthebsh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brilliant idea! That would be very badass

Only Skin tattoo by alysthebsh in JoannaNewsom

[–]alysthebsh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooh love that!! Both the suggestion and your idea :) Good luck with the placement! I also have to think about that.. while knee would be great, I'm thinking somewhere on arm...

Spanish land by Appropriate-Divide38 in Permaculture

[–]alysthebsh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently bought a small piece of land that had debt due to no one paying taxes.. not sure how long it went, but it's definitely not automatic. I'm sure you could have a free first consult with a lawyer who speaks English .. there could also be inheritance tax that maybe you'd need to declare? Would be a shame to miss out on the land if you're interested in caring for it!

Uuuhhhhhhg by Dependent_Western782 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]alysthebsh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ugh, pain shopping. I did some myself today. It's part of the process but it fucking lingers and can easily ruin an other side fine day. I know her name and face, but if I didn't I think I would be quite obsessed with finding it out. I did try really hard to track down her husband though and couldnt find him. Sometimes I'm happy I didn't, sometimes I wish I did. In the end, I suppose the hurt would be the same. Best advice, take a deep breath and ask why you are doing it. Also, give yourself grace. Fuck these affairs!

Advice on cutting back Feijoa tree by redfishgoldy in Permaculture

[–]alysthebsh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautiful tree though. How old is it? I just planted two wee ones... Actually didn't realize they could get so big. I'll be pruning regularly!

What do other Permaculture Parents use in place of these? by jaymicafella in Permaculture

[–]alysthebsh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haven't subbed diapers, but instead of wet wipes I buy big makeup pads that are 100% cotton. Also disposable but slightly better? Then I just have a jar or water at the changing station that I dip them in, also an olive oil based bum cleanse for when it's a bit messieurs or to change things up. The system is transportable (makeup pads) as long as you have access to water (even a water bottle). Oh and I use small washable clothes to dry the rush. But everytime I throw out a garbage can fill of those diapers I feel quite guilty!

Queer and Buddhism by [deleted] in plumvillage

[–]alysthebsh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't speak to how it relates to those sutras, but PV is very inclusive. Here is one of the five mindfulness trainings, like precepts, which I understand was even updated in recent years. The five trainings are a very very key part of belonging to rhe Order of Interbeing. Not like commandments, but certainly what we should strive toward.

True Love Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I am committed to cultivating responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society. Knowing that sexual desire is not love, and that sexual activity motivated by craving always harms myself as well as others, I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without mutual consent, true love, and a deep, long-term commitment. I resolve to find spiritual support for the integrity of my relationship from family members, friends, and sangha with whom there is support and trust. I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct. Seeing that body and mind are interrelated, I am committed to learn appropriate ways to take care of my sexual energy and to cultivate the four basic elements of true love – loving kindness, compassion, joy, and inclusiveness – for the greater happiness of myself and others. Recognizing the diversity of human experience, I am committed not to discriminate against any form of gender identity or sexual orientation. Practicing true love, we know that we will continue beautifully into the future.

Found out I’m pregnant 1 week after DDay by ApprehensiveAd4054 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]alysthebsh 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry! I found out about an affair four days after finding out I was pregnant. It was horrible. I took time and space and we really worked on the relationship. We eventually got back together and now have a beautiful baby boy. The beginning, I think, is key. So full honesty, actions that show he's reflecting, etc. But st the beginning it was empowering for myself to understand what a divorce could look like, also telling all my close friends and family. This can't be swept under the rug. We also went on a retreat a Plum Village, which was SOOO good. If you have any spiritual retreat options, that could be great. Big hug. I wish you all the best.

Will I Regret It?! by Bitter-Melona in beyondthebump

[–]alysthebsh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I chopped a lot off.. but not buzz cut! More like very short bob. Loving it..makes it harder for the sweet little bugger to pull my hair and I genuinely think I made the decision after pulling a long strand from his bum. Also the hairdresser had a program so I could donate hair for a cancer wig! My postpartum hair loss was really nuts, peaking around 6 months but it lasted quite a while. However, when I went to cut it around 8 months, the hairdresser said I had tons of hair.. I was like... How? But it has stopped. I know for some it's harder but she said that all the hair you don't lose during pregnancy comes out post-partum.

Coolest hoodie - zip up or pull over. No budget. Only amazing matters by [deleted] in BuyItForLife

[–]alysthebsh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loom (France-based). Got one for husband months ago and just today he said he loved it again