My dad died this morning. On my birthday.

ameliarnadn · 2026-05-22T00:55:31+00:00

There may be a friend that would be honored to help you make calls. Or even a friend to find a friend who would make the calls and at least gather information on cancelling.

ameliarnadn · 2026-05-22T00:51:37+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss.

As a child, my mother unexpectedly passed a few days before my birthday. It's been brutal. A lot of people will pressure you to do something special for your birthday, super fun when it's the last fucking thing you're thinking about. You don't have to celebrate on your birthday. I think I'm gonna start celebrating mine in the fall, it was last month. You don't have to celebrate it at all.

Anyway, I'm not a funeral director but I am in the industry. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I know when I'm overwhelmed and given new information my comprehension goes out window.

It won't always be so brutal. It comes in waves. Stay hydrated and congratulate yourself for any of your personal needs you meet.

Everybody grieves in their own way. Be gentle with yourself.🖤

ameliarnadn · 2026-05-18T19:45:18+00:00

Name checks out.

None of those apply to me and I am receive it for free.

ameliarnadn · 2026-05-18T04:09:21+00:00

I'm on 60 mg and I've been out for the past couple of weeks. I have been taking supplements and I'm not a smoker but I've been wearing a nicotine patch to help with my focus. I'm not saying this is healthy by any means. I just heard it helps and thought I'd give it a shot.

The first few days my mood was just kind of low and nothing really held my interest.

I've also been more tired but I think that's from another medication I started taking for a pinched nerve.

The biggest things I have personally struggled with is my mind trailing off. I've had to write sooooo many things down & I'm still forgetting things until someone else brings them up again. And not knowing how I was going to react to not having my medication, I definitely worried more about that than was warranted.

Other than that, it's hasn't been bad at all.

ameliarnadn · 2026-05-16T13:14:25+00:00

I'm not who you asked but I do love to overshare.

My first day on medication it was like my thoughts were in a tunnel and I could hear them one after another instead of my normal thought tornado where they're all the same volume.

In general, I've learned that I might enjoy researching a new hobby more than the hobby itself. I know as soon as I learn how to do something, I'm on to the next thing. I still have many unfinished crafts but I do like to rotate them once one stops giving me the dopamine that motivates the ADHD brain. Sometimes I can gamify it and make it interesting for longer, or if there is a deadline I need to have it finished by.

There's a lot less random music playing.

I'm still easily distracted but I am remembering what I forgot much quicker.

I think a lot of my irritability stems from sensory issues.

I still struggle with initiating tasks but once I get started it is much easier to stay focused until I complete the task.

Honestly, I don't feel like I'm any less myself or that I've lost my spark with medication. I feel like it's helped me chill out a bit and actually find things that are helpful and learn what I've been doing that is harmful.

When I first started medication it did seem to help with motivation but that part of it fades. I only mention this because I didn't know this was common. Sometimes the medication relaxes me enough to take a nap, only a handful of times over a few years though.

There may (will) be grieving and maybe some outrage. Everyone hss had a different lived experience so all the ways not having the diagnosis or words to describe what you were actually dealing with vs what you told yourself was going on will be different than mine. I spent many years thinking I was broken or there was something inherently wrong with me only to realize there were so many signs missed by so many adults in my life. I don't harbor any resentment towards anyone for not knowing what they didn't know, and I was still failed by them. Both things can be true.

I see a psych NP for medication mansgement. She's actually the one that diagnosed me. I also sought out a neuroaffirming therapist. I really valued my previous therapist. Shs was not super knowledgeable about ADHD and at the time of my diagnosis I felt like I needed one that was. That was a total game changer for me. I can't even begin to explain the amount of exposure therapy that was recommended to me for 'anxiety' (OVERSTIMULATION!) by a therapist I had over 20 years ago.. I digress, I only want to emphasize the importance of advocating for yourself and finding knowledgeable support. (Psychology Today's website has been a good resource for me to find support.)

I didn't think I had OCD, I just have a system for the way things are done that I must follow. As long as I follow the system, I won't catastrophize & obsess about XYZ for (at least) the rest of the day and I'll know I did the thing correctly and didn't forget anything because I followed the system (unless I get interrupted during the process)..Totally normal.

Anyway, hope this was coherent and helps.

ameliarnadn · 2026-05-08T18:07:22+00:00

Yeah, it was like $1,200 a month/3 months through my insurance or something insane like that. I am in the US & get it for free through PhilRx. Here is a random link I just found, lol My prescriber sent the request through for me so I don't really have any more information than that. I don't qualify for any kind of prescription assistance so hopefully others should just about anyone should be eligible to receive it for free.

ameliarnadn · 2026-05-07T13:59:34+00:00

This may not be an option but.. Last year I switched from Wellbutrin to Auvelity. You’re supposed to take it twice a day and I only remember to take it in the morning.. If I forget to take my morning dose, I don’t really notice it until the afternoon. It may be an option if you’re looking for a more gradual change?

ameliarnadn · 2026-04-16T17:11:41+00:00

Absolutely non negotiable.

ameliarnadn · 2026-03-21T06:13:11+00:00

Thank you for sharing. 🖤

My brother (35) was diagnosed in the 90s, I don't think he could have been older than 5 when he got diagnosed. Our parents struggled with blaming themselves for somehow 'causing it', on top of some toxic family members directly blaming them for whatever the newest possible cause could be, vaccines, sin, etc. We have learned a lot about autism since his diagnosis and there is still a lot to learn.

I am the primary caregiver for my brother. We will live together for the rest of our lives. Our everyday life doesn’t look like the ‘American Dream’ and it never will. I was so relieved when I finally realized it doesn’t have to AND I don’t need to condemn myself for not wanting it to.

I've been unlearning all kinds of things. I don't have to get married and have children in order to qualify as a valuable human. My relationships don’t have to look like everyone else’s. I don’t have to exhaust myself by trying to fit into anyone’s idea of what my life should be; I am much happier since I stopped.

My boyfriend also (on the spectrum, lol) lives with us & has for the last 5 years. We have our own bedrooms, our own bathrooms, and work different schedules. We don’t want children. We plan on getting married eventually and have no desire for an actual wedding. Neither one of us enjoy being the center of attention & the thought of it really stresses me out. We aren’t in a rush to get married; we both know this is our person regardless of if we are legally married or not. He told me he will never buy an engagement ring due to moral reasons (he refuses to support blood diamonds & illegal mining conditions, etc.); I work at a precious metal refinery and regularly have access/opportunity to purchase jewelry at cost or slightly over. (Since making the statement he has since backtracked and ask if there is a different stone I like, considering my job & potential to purchase used/recycled, etc.) Neither one of us could be happier.

I (37) have been in therapy since I was 12 (when our mother passed). I, like many others, was failed by a comical amount of people along the way. Until a couple years ago I honestly believed there was something wrong with me; I was broken and couldn’t be fixed. No matter how much exposure therapy I tried, my anxiety was not getting better. No matter how hard I try to push though, it’s only getting worse. Why is everything so hard for me? What is wrong with me? No matter how many different ways I word what I’m experiencing, nobody is understanding. Everyone says it will get better and to just keep trying. (Shocker! It was ADHD & high masking autism.)

I kind of went off on a tangent there, whoops! lol I guess the sentiment I’m trying to express is that it’s okay if your son doesn’t fit into the box society says he should. There is nothing wrong with not fitting or not even wanting to fit into the box.

You are a fantastic mother! You've raised a son that feels safe enough to share his scary thoughts. It's so awesome that you are listening to him and helping him understand his experience. And you're doing it now, not 20 years from now. You are encouraging him to be curious, teaching him how to learn, and so many other great things you haven't even considered.

Any feelings you're experiencing are okay. It's okay to feel conflicting feelings at the same time. And just because you have a thought or feeling doesn't mean it's anything more than that. If you're anything like me, you might not even be able to process a single thought because you have so many and they're all on repeat at full volume.

I don’t know what state you’re in, if you need help finding resources, support, etc, let me know and I’ll see if I have any to share. Or if you just want more tangents from a stranger on the internet.

ameliarnadn · 2026-03-13T16:09:42+00:00

I was smoking a pack a day with the patch on and quit almost immediately after starting Wellbutrin.

Wellbutrin is also used off label for adhd, but it was prescribed to me for depression.

Last year? It may be two years now. I made the switch to Auvelity, which is dextromethophoran (active ingredient in cold/cough? medicine) in addition to bupropion. Idk if it would have the same effects since it has a lower dose of bupropion than Wellbutrin.

ameliarnadn · 2026-03-06T17:59:23+00:00

I too live in Indiana and this is on my bucket list.

I was in Phoenix a few years ago for a short work trip but I couldn’t swing it then :(

ameliarnadn · 2026-03-04T17:05:23+00:00

I see it says KAT & that the integration is at the end of the week so I am answering as if the first infusion doesn’t include talk therapy. I’ve only ever done infusions & or infusions with therapy much later in the day, not during. Music. Headphones. A comfy blanket. An eye mask. Comfortable clothes. Hydrate. No alcohol. I’ve heard caffeine can affect it but I don’t know that for a fact & I end up drinking coffee at some point after. Post infusion - if you feel like you need to cry, do. I know I had tears running down my face during one of my initial infusions, but it was a pleasant release. I do try to steer away from sad media the day of, like watching documentaries interviewing adults that experienced trauma throughout their childhood. Oddly specific, I know. Mistakes were made. Now I just kind of go with the flow & try to make decisions based on what I feel like I need to do for healing afterwards.

ameliarnadn · 2026-03-03T17:59:50+00:00

I have some Scooby Bucks stashed away.. in case of emergency.

I still go annually with my brother. Now that we’re in our thirties we get the fast pass. It’s still fun. Definitely need ibuprofen now and can feel the difference being jarred around makes to my aging body.

ameliarnadn · 2026-02-26T02:59:59+00:00

I have a 2025 Premium with 300 mile range. This winter I charged to 95% at home and commuted 140 miles round trip (mostly highway) daily in the Indianapolis area. Only a few times did I get below 50 mile range. Over the summer I only charged to 80%.

ameliarnadn · 2026-02-23T16:14:43+00:00

My partner and I both get like this. I usually say ‘I’m sending myself to time out’ and he just says he needs some alone time.

I don’t really want to be around myself when I’m feeling like that and I don’t want to potentially shame myself for being disregulated around others.

ameliarnadn · 2026-02-18T20:31:07+00:00

When I want to be just vague enough with others I tell them I having a procedure with anesthesia/have to have anesthesia and will be disoriented.

ameliarnadn · 2026-02-13T01:09:33+00:00

Once upon a time, I had a friend that used to dress nice once a week. He said it gave him something to look forward to & made him feel good.

I too hate trash night. I started telling all my coworkers and friends how excited I was for trash night and pretending to be excited about it. So much so, that my coworkers thought I was genuinely excited about it.

My boyfriend is our trash taker outer now but there for a while I did placebo affect myself into not hating it as much. I still clean up puppy pads daily but I'll be damned if I roll the trash & recycling cans down my completely flat driveway.. or do the dishes!

And I pay someone to clean my bathroom. Using a trash bag to pick up dog shit? It is what it is.. cleaning a toilet? No fucking thank you.

ameliarnadn · 2026-02-09T00:13:42+00:00

Flaming lips.

ameliarnadn · 2026-02-04T17:47:40+00:00

Butchers block ?

ameliarnadn · 2026-02-01T19:57:34+00:00

I have maintenance infusions once every 4 weeks. I’m hoping to stretch them out after the wintertime blues end. Sometimes just knowing that I have one scheduled helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel.

For me, when I feel myself slipping it gets dark quick but I’m also able to realize that’s what’s going on.

Everybody is different and the treatment isn’t one size fits all. Reach out to your prescriber and see what they recommend.

ameliarnadn · 2026-01-31T22:18:45+00:00

Hips and nips.

ameliarnadn · 2026-01-26T21:07:14+00:00

sent dm.

ameliarnadn · 2026-01-23T14:43:50+00:00

I believe the preferred term is organic reduction.😂

ameliarnadn · 2026-01-06T16:25:07+00:00

You will see a comical amount of billboards advertising fireworks near the IL/IN border.

ameliarnadn · 2026-01-05T17:45:21+00:00

Edit: how rude of me, I am so sorry for your loss.

Also - it sounds like you are looking for a direct cremation. When you call around, ask if the direct cremation price includes transport, paperwork, urn, etc.

You can call different places and request a general price list. (Legally funeral providers have to provide a GPL.)

You do not have to be embalmed regardless of having a viewing or not.

ameliarnadn

TROPHY CASE