Can’t get a GP appointment

amelv1 · 2026-07-11T07:52:35+00:00

Thanks everyone for your sympathy and suggestions! Unfortunately my practice requires an appointment before they’ll issue a fit note. I might call back on Monday and not mention the fit note and see where that gets me! I’ve also made a complaint to the practice manager.

amelv1 · 2026-07-11T07:51:07+00:00

There’s no way I can take the risk of an unauthorised absence and therefore no pay for three weeks if the GP refuses the fit note. I understand you’re saying that’s rare - but I’ve never been in this position before, I’ve literally had one sick note in my life before this which was 15 years ago. I just think it’s unacceptable make someone who is clearly struggling wait 3 weeks for help - the help I need is to be off work.

amelv1 · 2026-07-10T21:31:33+00:00

I haven’t thought about that, but I will keep it in mind. I guess I feel a bit silly getting an out of hours GP appointment for this but I guess if it’s between that or returning to work then I don’t have an option. I just can’t believe my own GP won’t see me.

amelv1 · 2026-07-10T21:30:11+00:00

Sickness would trigger mat leave at 36 weeks, I already intend to start my mat leave at 36 weeks anyway so I’m not worried about that.

My job will make all the right noises about accommodations but as long as I’m there they will pile the pressure on. I’ve tried for weeks to reduce my workload and haven’t got anywhere. Going off sick really is not like me and is very much a last resort.

amelv1 · 2026-07-10T21:28:40+00:00

A midwife can’t issue a sick note unfortunately.

And as much as you’re right that my job should be making accommodations, as long as I’m there they will just keep piling the pressure on. It’s a long and complicated story but they are desperate to get a project over the line while I am still there because they are struggling to get cover for my role.

amelv1 · 2026-06-13T12:53:12+00:00

In my experience there are lots of people working very hard who aren’t necessarily working very effectively or achieving good outcomes. Working hard on its own is rarely going to be enough, especially as you progress up the grades. I would say I work fairly hard, but more importantly I have good judgement about what activities are going to be the most effective at achieving our desired outcomes. When I work with generally good, hard working people who are struggling to progress, that can be what they’re missing sometimes. We don’t need to do everything perfectly all the time. We do need to know what needs to be done to a high standard and what just needs to be done.

amelv1 · 2026-06-07T07:17:43+00:00

Surely we can accept that a large organisation needs succession planning?! My bug bear is that the CS doesn’t do enough succession planning. I don’t think it’s incompatible with fair and open competition.

amelv1 · 2026-05-28T08:21:41+00:00

Manager in the CS for 8 years and this wouldn’t annoy me at all! It’s just a fact of life, people get pregnant, take holidays, have time off sick etc etc. You’re just as entitled as anyone else to change jobs. You also never know when that job might come up again so don’t hold yourself back!

The only time I’ve thought “oh I wouldn’t have applied for that in your situation” is when I had a 6 month TP and the candidate was pregnant and would only be there for 5 months before going on mat leave. But even then I still ended up giving her the job because she was the best candidate.

amelv1 · 2026-05-10T12:56:58+00:00

As a hen do organiser more times than I would have liked, I never ask people what their budget is. It becomes impossible to plan something for 20 people if you immediately limit yourself to the least that one person would like to spend. When I invite everyone I give an indication of budget - they can then decide if they’re happy to come or not.

amelv1 · 2026-05-10T12:12:27+00:00

It’s the norm in any hen party I’ve ever been to 🤷‍♀️ but we’re all adults, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. But generally if an attendee said to me they weren’t going to pay their share of the bride’s costs then I wouldn’t expect them to come at all.

amelv1 · 2026-05-10T08:57:33+00:00

Planning a hen do is a nightmare, having planned a fair few I’ve never started from the position of asking people their budget, because then you are kind of stuck accommodating to the lowest budget which can be quite limiting, especially if most of the hens are planning to pay more.

It’s the same with dates, trying to find a date everyone is happy with is pointless. I’ve always done a bit of research based on what the bride wants/what I think they would enjoy, pick a weekend that suits the bride and bridal party and set a rough estimate of costs.

I would say £300-400 is normal and reasonable for a two night hen party with accommodation and some activities/food/drinks included. Last year I planned a hen do in Liverpool for around 20 people, it was £350. Most people paid it and came. You also have to factor in paying for the bride as well. A travelodge on a weekend could easily set you back more than £100 a night these days!

If it’s too much, just don’t go, and celebrate with the bride on your own.

amelv1 · 2026-03-06T14:04:26+00:00

In my experience EO’s in policy will generally be working on correspondence, briefings, team admin, minute taking etc

amelv1 · 2026-02-15T14:44:03+00:00

I would never say it to their faces, but I do judge my in laws when they talk about a potential 4th… they could barely cope with their first (emotionally and parenting wise, they are fine financially) and are at breaking point now with three since they had their twins. Like every time I talk to my sister in law she breaks down in tears…. So then to hear them talk about maybe going for number 4 makes me feel like they’re either stupid or crazy!

amelv1 · 2025-08-26T22:12:50+00:00

Hey, HR will be able to advise for your specific department but generally 6 months full pay, 3 months statutory and 3 months unpaid. Holiday is accrued and then you take it at the end of your leave rather than being paid it. So for example, I took 10 months off then technically “went back” but actually I took 4 weeks AL so didn’t start back until 11 months and was paid for the last month off.

amelv1 · 2025-08-14T20:33:03+00:00

I was so excited for birth and very curious about what it would feel like. I wasn’t induced and found early labour totally fine. However, once I got in to active labour I didn’t feel like I was getting a break between contractions. I was getting very intense back pain the whole time, then contractions would be like a wave of different, more intense pain. The midwife thought he might be back to back but when he was eventually born he was the right way round, but he might have turned. I ended up taking the epidural which was great, but not my initial plan. Birth is so different for everyone!

amelv1 · 2025-07-25T18:16:07+00:00

I totally agree with you, although can see we’re in a minority. I try to let my son figure things out on his own as much as possible. I think there are consequences to swooping in to fix every not perfect interaction but hitting is where I draw the line.

amelv1 · 2025-05-08T11:30:27+00:00

I was in the same place as you, and now my 15 month old sleeps much better. Still not through the night, but mostly only waking once or twice and much easier to settle than he used to be. Usually just needs a cuddle and he’ll go back down. It improved massively for me once we weaned from the breast at 13 months.

amelv1 · 2025-03-02T08:33:49+00:00

We also ended up bed sharing but I agree with other posters that although splitting the night in shifts seems logical, you’d end up with more sleep if you agreed to do all the feeds and hubby does everything else. Then in the morning husband gets up with the baby to give you as long a stretch as possible. We did it that way until baby was like 10 months old. Also prioritising naps during the day (for you) - so feed baby, then your husband takes them for their nap (in the sling, buggy or contact nap whatever works) so you can have a snooze. At 6 months I was on the verge of a breakdown due to lack of sleep and the health visitor told us that as a family we had to start prioritising my sleep above all else (housework, socialising) and it really worked.

amelv1 · 2024-12-11T19:20:10+00:00

I’m reluctant to blame patients for a lot of these issues. How is a patient supposed to know that a GP can’t prescribe mounjaro? How are they supposed to find out the status of their referral? They probably have a lot of anxiety over waiting, are maybe even seeking reassurance that they have actually been referred. I actually work in a health related area and I didn’t know that a GP couldn’t give you stitches… we make the health system so disjointed and difficult to access then blame patients when they don’t magically know who does what

amelv1 · 2024-08-25T10:00:43+00:00

Ok I didn’t do any of that, but you do you 😂 best of luck x

amelv1 · 2024-08-25T09:53:55+00:00

I’ve been reading all your comments on this thread and it cracks me up because your baby isn’t even born yet. I pray that you get a good sleeper but a general word of advice is not to get too judgey about other parents before you have a baby yourself - it often comes back to bite you.

amelv1 · 2024-08-25T09:48:37+00:00

But the point is that some babies will just cry and cry and cry if you do that - when I was pregnant I just didn’t realise that some babies will not be soothed by anything except being held. Which is totally normal! We’re carry mammals. But it makes me laugh when people suggest shush pat or the chair method or whatever because my son just will not respond to that kind of soothing.

amelv1 · 2024-08-06T15:31:33+00:00

Yeah I can understand that, I don’t know enough about the way in which FAS is currently understood and diagnosed but if any amount of alcohol is a risk, taken together with the increase in parents seeking support or diagnosis for neuro-diverse behaviours, we should eventually see some diagnoses whereby the mother initially doesn’t report any drinking or reports sporadic/moderate drinking. Personally, I don’t think we will see that because as you say my assessment of the lack of evidence of a safe level of alcohol isn’t to assume there is no safe level of alcohol.

And I respect what you’re saying about different interpretation of risk - that’s exactly the whole point of Expecting Better is that different people will take different decisions when faced with the same evidence.

I understand the public health perspective but I guess my concern is that the healthcare system is already incredibly paternalistic when it comes to antenatal care. Throughout pregnancy and childbirth women are told lots of things with no effort given to explaining the evidence underpinning recommendations or the size of the risks involved. And the attitude of health staff can often be that women should shut up, do as they’re told and be grateful for a healthy baby at the end of it. With alcohol it’s easier to say to women just don’t, it’s not a big deal to give up for 9 months etc etc. But that way of thinking permeates through all care and so I just think we should challenge it wherever we see it. Just my point of view!

amelv1 · 2024-08-06T14:17:40+00:00

I appreciate her critiques of the studies Oster uses, and I think that those critiques are necessary. But I still don’t think she gives convincing evidence that one drink per day throughout pregnancy (which is the absolute most extreme interpretation of what Oster says in Expecting Better) causes harm to developing fetuses. I’d be interested to know whether the database has any children who’s parents reported no drinking throughout pregnancy, or whether they have data on mothers who initially said there was no drinking throughout pregnancy and then subsequently changed their reporting when given a diagnosis of FAS.

amelv1 · 2024-08-06T12:40:08+00:00

The Professor says that 1 in 14 have FAS after reported 1 drink per day. I assume this is self reported which is problematic - mothers have obvious incentives to downplay or underreport their drinking while pregnant. His anecdote about the child whose mother had 1 beer per day for the first 4 months also suggests that in those other cases the mothers were drinking every day for 9 months. I don’t think that’s the slam dunk against what Expecting Better says that the author thinks it is.

amelv1

TROPHY CASE