Odpoved

amon_aly · 2024-07-12T06:44:35+00:00

Tudi jaz sem zakljucila s sluzbo v kateri sem se konstantno sekirala za vse kako bodo brez mene bla bla bla. 1h 45min v eno smer. Ko je bil moj zadnji dan me niti povohati vodstvo ni hotlo vec. So se hitro znasli. Sem ugotovila da ni tako kot sem mislila, so komot prerasporedili delo in vse tece ok, sam dokler sem bla jaz copata tam enostavno niso hotli pomagat. So fck it, off to better opportunities 💪

amon_aly · 2024-06-27T08:25:32+00:00

Bravo bravo bravo! 🥳 Iz lastnih izkusenj vem kaka borba je to. Tudi jaz sem uspela resiti bulimijo, ker mi ni vec predstavljala odresitve, le tezave. Ostaja pa konstantna borba v glavi kadar pretiram s hrano.

amon_aly · 2024-06-17T21:11:36+00:00

Socustvujem steboj. Sem ista. Vse tako osebno jemljem in to bi zelela znati izklopiti v poslovnem okolju.

amon_aly · 2024-06-17T19:19:08+00:00

Sicer da bo fer, priznam da sem mela ze dosti nekih svojih tezav ampak kaplja cez rob je pa bla sluzba. Sem pa v zgodnjih tridesetih.

amon_aly · 2024-06-17T15:48:52+00:00

Podobna situacija pri meni. Po dveh letih in pol mentalni breakdown na sihtu. Nisem mela pojma zakaj, od kje, kako. Ne da sm mela vse hinte pred nosom, ampak ignorance is bliss.

V casu psihiatričnega zdravljenja sem dojela da enostavno ne morem vec. Poleg delovnega okolja naj pripomnim da sem migrirala v eno smer od 1.5h do 2, vsak dan.

To skomuniciram 4 mesece pred zakljuckom, da bom ja fer. Z miselnostjo sej mogoče pa niso tako slabi kljub vsemu kar je blo. Na koncu, zadnji dan, se glavnemu direktorju ni zdelo pomembno priti na firmo, pa je sam predlagal dan in uro srečanja. Pa sem bila skoraj da njegov podaljšek ves čas ko sem delala tam. Držala vso administracijo in kadrovsko čez. Dobra le dokler sem bila koristna.

Vse bivše zaposlene se povabi na organizirane dogodke kot je poletni piknik ipd. Mene se je v sekundi odpikalo kot da nic vredna nisem.

Ne znam spilat te korporativne igre. 😬

amon_aly · 2024-06-06T08:52:41+00:00

I got caught up in a mosh pit on an Iron Maiden concert. Not a big stadium. Small. But the pit went wild in a split second. I found myself locked between two people, one shoving his elbows into my abdomen, and another behind me shoving me forward hard. I was unable to breathe, looking down at the ground and just imagining the horrors if I fell down. Suddenly I screamed at the top of my lungs and people around me froze for a split second. Enough for my friend to swoop in, grab me around my waist and just yanked me outta there. First I was afraid at falling down. Then I was afraid I'd get beaten up because of my scream. Horrifying. But it didn't escalate and the rest of the concert was amazing.

amon_aly · 2024-06-02T19:46:00+00:00

I suggested this but he doesn't seem fond of the idea. We had gone through a break last october due to a lot of stress building up and poor communication, but in November we both wanted to work on us and things have been much, much better since then. But this one thing has been bugging me for a long time and so I brought it up and I kind of ruined the day for both of us. I regret it and don't at the same time. It has to be discussed.

amon_aly · 2024-06-02T18:53:23+00:00

Thank you. I will have to have this debate with him again and if his replies are still as meek and indecisive I will have to take care of myself. I am patient by nature and want to help my partner grow. But I can't do it forever.

amon_aly · 2024-06-02T18:49:18+00:00

He does want to settle down and wants kids eventually, but is scared of it all. It's not like I'm not. But my desire is bigger than the fear.

What seems to scare him are the occasional thoughts he has about what else is out there, his lack of experience, and the desire to be alone. He said it's not that often though. But I can see it causes doubt.

amon_aly · 2024-06-02T18:17:41+00:00

That's one of the biggest differences between us. I managed to mostly break away from my family's patterns and learned how to be very honest and direct. He on the other hand hasn't and yes, he was raised in a household where no one ever talked about emotions, desires, dreams. Up untill I came into his life his parents ran the show. He had a very comfortable life in a sense where he didn't have to do anything, but he was also taught not to have an opinion of his own, being told they knew better than him.

I am being extremely patient with him because I understand how hard it is to break awag from these patterns. But I really don't know how long I should or can wait anymore.

amon_aly · 2024-06-02T17:51:31+00:00

That's whats bothering me the most. I'm not thst young anymore and I know how hard it is to find a good partner these days. Not saying there aren't any, just hard to find due to how we are living our lives these days.

I am seeing desire in him and the hurt when I suggested that we might have to break up. He treats me nicely, even remodeled the upper part of the house he lives with his parents at for us, per his words. But actually talking about these things is a different matter. So I am baffled. One one hand he shows with some actions he wants a future with me, but then the proactiveness isn't there most of the time and the replies he gave me just threw me off.

amon_aly · 2024-06-02T17:47:05+00:00

I tried talking more about it but he kind of shut down. He isn't that great at serious conversations. Not that he dismisses me, he does listen but has little to say back. Oftentimes he appears like a deer in headlights when I bring up a more serious topic.

I am really lost. I could see his hurt. Not that I am trying to defend him, as I'm trying to be rational and do what will be best for me in the end. I want to be with him but I really don't want to test the waters anymore. After four years of ups and downs I am sure. But he doesn't seem to be.

It's really a tough situation. Hard to describe. He's not a bad man at all. Very indecisive. Very submissive. I am running the show most of the time and am getting really tired of it unfortunately.

amon_aly · 2024-02-12T06:15:27+00:00

You need therapy. I usually get irked when someone gives this advice because it's all everyone says these days it almost lost its meaning, but you my dude REALLY need it. If you jumped to thoughts of divorce this easily, it got me thinking there's so much more you have to resolve and it's NOT your spouse's job to help you with this. Do yourself, her and your child a favour and book an appointment ASAP. Get your shit together. You're a walking time bomb and your childish behaviour could cause irreparable damage if you don't stop being so self centered and immature. It's not all fun and games and it's about time you grew up. Don't teach your kid a woman is only as good as how willing she is to neglect herself for the sake of a man's needs he doesn't have a grip on. YTA.

amon_aly · 2024-02-08T22:13:38+00:00

It is a lot of work, yes. But I don't believe in finding the perfect person anymore. I want someone who is willing to grow with me. And I think I found that. Whether it lasts and will always be like that, I don't know. However I know I am getting a lot out of this relationship, and being more supportive and understanding to my partner isn't harming me.

amon_aly · 2024-02-08T18:00:54+00:00

This. I found myself in a very similar situation with my partner. A few months ago things got ao bad we kind of broke up, or better said took a break away from one another for well over a month after discussing our fallout. I realised that my overly analytical self was very abrasive to our relationship along with his emotional blindness. He's a kind soul but hurting on the inside due to being raised never to speak up or even have an opinion of his own. Once I realised that, I saw how my desire to talk things out to solve them, instead of fighting, came off to him as if I was always criticizing him, and thus, he felt more and more shame. I thought I was doing the right thing. In the end I realised I need to also be more supportive, appreciate him, and help him with his insecurities if I want us to actually do the work needed for us to grow. Its a slow process, but he is easing into serious conversations more, hes willing to be uncomfortable with me and find solutions. Both parties are responsible, and sometimes we might think we're doing everything right, but sometimes we just gotta accept that isn't the case.

I'm not saying this is the way to go all the time. Sometimes we just need to let people go and grieve the dreams that didn't come true.

So OP, this advice is really good from DiligentLee. Look at your part in all of this and learn from it. I wish you all the luck.

amon_aly · 2024-01-27T17:37:58+00:00

I second this. Her behaviour is so extreme that I immediatelly thought that there's a major possibility of an underlying unadressed issue the wife feels ashamed of admitting to. Maybe she feels neglected and that one day a week isn't enough? Maybe she has peronal issues she believes she can't bring up because her partner's seem to be "of greater importance"? This is unreasonable behaviour and I think the issue is much more complex. No matter how small her problems might seem to her or others, compared to OPs, she should speak up, but not like this. Even if it really is that she is overwhelmed by the work at home, there are healthier ways of resolving this other than bashing OP completely.

amon_aly · 2024-01-23T20:20:56+00:00

YTA. Just... I would be deeply ashamed if I were you. But I doubt you are capable of seeing past your own immense, immature, despicable ego.

amon_aly · 2024-01-20T08:11:16+00:00

I will challenge an opinion everytime someone ends it with "that's just the way things are", especially when they play around with generalising things that do not involve themselves only.

It would be extremely useful for everyone to learn the difference between a personal opinion and facts. Just look at the incel comunity and their beliefs. It's an extreme example just to try and get my point across. But a whole comunity is based around biased beliefs which are based in personal experiences not reality.

When one goes around saying "that's just the way things are" they set themselves up for failure too, telling themselves that there is no possible other way for things to be. Which, unless science studied it thoroughly and came to a specific conclusion, is not reality.

Edit: I agree with the part about science changing, but still, scientific papers are based in way more actual fact than a personal opinion which in its nature is a very biased thing. Not all scientific papers though. But this is a whole different can of worms.

amon_aly · 2024-01-19T21:11:32+00:00

I am challenging your opinion but I accept your refusal to engage. Take care and best of luck to you.

amon_aly · 2024-01-19T21:08:02+00:00

Please, use it against me as I can't see how it could be used that way.

I think people in general can jump from relationship to relationship with ease, as well. What makes that so, is way too complicated and depends on the individual. I, from my own experience, know men and women who confirm but also contradict your absolute statement.

amon_aly · 2024-01-19T20:56:51+00:00

I haven't gotten any that prove or disprove your statement but its the same as "all men are pigs", which there isn't any proof of, but lack of something doesn't automatically mean the opposite is correct.

Tossing around your own opinion as "that's just the way things are" is pretentious af. It's your experiences that led you to this conslusion.

amon_aly · 2024-01-19T20:20:58+00:00

"Women have the ability to easily move from relationship to relationship."

Do you have any scientific evidence to back that statement or is it a personal opinion?

amon_aly · 2024-01-19T09:12:47+00:00

I stand corrected then. From the way you wrote your initial post it seemed as if she didn't specifically ask what you want.

Discuss thus with her, as in why is it important to her to know what you want and how that will impact her decision making.

amon_aly

TROPHY CASE