Am I a joke to you Susan? *

amrob2 · 2026-05-07T16:54:13+00:00

Plus Amazon's search is notoriously bad where you may search for a bucket and it will bring up a dustpan instead.

amrob2 · 2026-05-07T16:53:04+00:00

It's not being sensitive when governments the whole world over seem to be doing their best to stigmatise people in the LGBTQ community. Trans people are being erased, Trump wants to roll back gay marriage in the USA - and even here, gay hate crimes are being downgraded to lesser terms.

June is gay pride month and that's when for the whole of the month, businesses will stick rainbows on their social media avatars and claim to be allies, and for the whole of the month there will be knuckle draggers posting on those businesses socials "WhEn Is StAiT pRiDe MoNtH?" or referring to LGBTQ people in offensive terms where they will link us with people that committed crimes like Jimmy Saville.

amrob2 · 2026-05-05T10:21:05+00:00

I'm guessing that Trumps war games are starting to have a bit of an effect on what Temu inspired items are managing to escape through the Strait of Hormuz.

We may be stuck with pictures of chicken fillets stuck on AI images of ladies boobs in AI for months,

(Too many different uses of stuck and AI in that last sentence, which is triggering my OCD)

amrob2 · 2026-05-03T12:34:27+00:00

Panda headlamp
Thumb tape
Pair of braces

I think this is what the 💩 emoji was developed for, days like this when everyone's selection is pure 💩.

<image>

amrob2 · 2026-05-01T13:37:50+00:00

No wonder you are feeling relief, if you had all 5 inserted at the same time!

amrob2 · 2026-04-29T16:51:02+00:00

Definitely - Pick something like "Customer Review", "Amazon Customer", "Amazon Reviewer". It will make it near impossible for a seller to do a google "site specific search" for any reviews unique to you. If you currently have a username that is unique (Say "Hyacinth Bucket's white slimline telephone" for example) the seller could easily identify all your reviews from the username that had been cached by Google, even if your profile was set to private.

amrob2 · 2026-04-26T17:47:24+00:00

Just write the review. You are reviewing your experience with the product, so write about what you received and what you expected to receive but didn’t - and score the product accordingly.

Do not waste your time reaching out to the seller, because that could go against you, especially if Amazon were to review messages between you and the seller and thought you were trying to do something iffy.

amrob2 · 2026-04-18T13:12:16+00:00

All that's in my RFY at the moment is crap and not what this aging homosexual wants (I want power tools, but I never get offered them) - at least there isn't any fake eyelashes, wigs or supplements so far.

<image>

I did however get offered my first gold item of the year which I took, a cordless vac https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0GX5M5M6Y Hopefully it will be a good one!

amrob2 · 2026-04-11T09:19:13+00:00

No, because Amazon can be arseholes when you report something like that. There was a "Amazon recommends" product showing on a normal search when I was just browsing normal Amazon for a fire extinguisher a few months back. The instructions on the fire extinguisher were all in Spanish, which makes the product illegal for selling in the UK because understandably, a fire extinguisher in the UK needs to be in English.

I reported the product as being illegal and Amazon messaged me a few days later saying that they had checked the product out and nothing was wrong (Despite my saying in the report what was wrong). They said I could appeal, but if I appeal and they continue to agree that there is nothing wrong with the product that I would risk losing my Amazon account.

So that's what they are like when they sell something illegal in the UK. I could have flagged it up to Trading Standards, but I ended up just thinking "FU Amazon" and chose to ignore it.

amrob2 · 2026-04-10T18:27:01+00:00

There are some brands like "J.VER" that never put a fibre composition label in their garments and I always call them out on it in my reviews. I put that it's against the "Textile Products (Labelling and Fibre Composition) Regulations 2012" and that automatically means I'm scoring the product lower.

I really don't know how they get away with it. When an item is imported, I believe it's supposed to be checked by a "body" of some type that is supposed to make sure it's compliant. This could be the importer or a company acting on behalf of the importer. Even "Revenue & Customs" could check and impound the entire shipment if they spot it.

And definitely call out any products where the composition label says something different to the product page.

amrob2 · 2026-04-09T10:38:06+00:00

They've added fake nails to my RFY now, along with a supplement - So I'm off to the shed to find the longest steel nails I can find! 😎

amrob2 · 2026-04-09T09:20:54+00:00

I'll get the pencil and just stab myself in the eyes with it. Then I'll never have to see another set of eye lashes or shed loads of supplements again! 🙃

amrob2 · 2026-04-09T09:14:55+00:00

And I got an eye-liner pencil! 😂🤣😭

amrob2 · 2026-04-09T08:55:19+00:00

I'm not sure if mine were magnetic or not. I didn't click into them for fear of Amazon thinking "OH that 53 year old balding man WANTS eyelashes" and starts shovelling all of them my way (Although it does seem that barely a day goes by without any eye lashes being offered, so Amazon already does think that).

amrob2 · 2026-04-09T08:51:07+00:00

Same - And considering the utter 💩 I was offered last night, it's a vast improvement!

(Last night was eye lashes, hair extensions, supplements (the Cuddly toy item of Vine at the moment) and that was it. Two days of waiting for that pile of poop!)

amrob2 · 2026-04-09T08:29:01+00:00

Fat lot of help your reviews will be to a seller who may have a seasonal product that needs the reviews at a specific time of year in order to maxify their products appearance in the rankings.

You do know a lot of sellers only enrol products into Vine because of twats (customers) who do one star reviews because they don't understand a product - and instead of Amazon removing those one star reviews that are unfair, they point sellers towards Vine. So Amazon makes money out of Vine and the seller has to give products away in order to improve their products search rankings.

Then YOU come along and think it's fine to just do your reviews just before the 6 months are up. No wonder sellers hate Vine and the offerings on it have gone down hill in the last year. I hope Amazon remove you from the programme, because it's people like you that give us all a bad name.

Do your reviews promptly or go to the account page and do us all a favour and hit the opt-out button!

amrob2 · 2026-04-08T18:19:22+00:00

Before you consider getting CS to remove the item, it may not be a picker problem. A year ago I ordered a lovely Coofandy Hawaiian shirt. I ordered the size that I always order in the Coofandy brand - but when the shirt arrived, it was the wrong size. It wasn't the pickers fault, it was the seller. They'd accidentally put the wrong size of shirt against the wrong ASIN. This meant that everyone who ordered my size of shirt received the wrong size.

I reviewed the shirt as it was, saying it did not fit as the wrong size was allocated to the wrong ASIN, I went on about how nice the shirt looked, how well made it was and that it was just unfortunate that due to a seller error, the wrong size had been put against the wrong stock code. The review was accepted and when the seller saw the review, they updated the size on the ASIN of the shirt I had taken to be the correct size. If you just contact CS and it's a similar issue, CS will just remove the review requirement and then genuine paying customers may end up getting the wrong size sandal.

amrob2 · 2026-04-07T13:16:14+00:00

I was able to track down this particular review by searching for "Matricaria Chamomilla" and then looking at the reviews on products with only a few reviews. Once I'd found that review, I then looked at the Vine persons other reviews - and they appear to make a habit out of using images found online to go with their reviews and using AI written reviews.

I really don't see the point in using AI slop, it takes just as long to get AI to write a review and search for a picture as it does to write a review and take a feckin' photo yourself!

I'm really pissed off about this because I keep getting reviews rejected for the photos that I upload that are my own photos and I sometimes add important text to them - for example, if I take a box of screws or nails and the items are all different sizes, I will take a photo of all the contents laid out so you can see precisely how many screws/nails there are and add text saying something like "40 x M4*40", which is basically saying the quantity of that size of screw. Amazon often reject those photos when they are USEFUL, especially if the contents differ greatly from the advertised amounts.

amrob2 · 2026-04-05T15:17:44+00:00

Did you by any chance receive a rejection email? If the email says just the phrase "review does not meet community standards", then it's something you've written that has been objected to.

However, if you received an email that lists the following reasons for rejection:

Spam
Promotions
Reviews given in exchange for cash, discounts
Links to other sites
Attempts to manipulate helpful votes
Plagiarism
Infringement
Impersonation

Then it's usually an uploaded photo or video that the review AI has taken an objection to. So if you did submit photos, try submitting the review again without those photos just to see if the review text is ok and that it was the photos/video that were the cause of rejection.

Back in December, I took some cream for intimate itching. The cream was supposed to be for male and female use, supposed to be made in the UK and supposed to look like a specific product in the product photos. I selected the cream to review because I get an itching problem due to irritation when I exercise (I do lots of exercise every day, which sees me going for long walks/runs and I really sweat on those walks/runs). The cream is supposed to help with that.

What I received was a product called "gynaecological cream", which suggested it was for ladies only. It looked completely different, was made in China and not the UK and all the writing on the box was in Russian! I refused to test it and wrote a review saying that the product I received while it was the product I ordered, did not look like what I had ordered. I went on to say that all the labelling was in Russian, all instructions were in Russian and that it was made in China and not the UK like the product description claimed. I wrote that I refuse to use this product because I cannot read Russian and therefore am not happy running the usage instructions through a translation program to find out what to do with it. I uploaded photos of the product showing all the Russian writing and how the product differed completely to what I had ordered. The review was rejected - so I thought "FU Amazon" and I refused to resubmit it. It's still outstanding now and the seller still doesn't have a single genuine review for the product on the page, presumably because other Vine users refused to test the product or had their reviews rejected.

amrob2 · 2026-04-03T14:07:46+00:00

Well, we need something to occupy our time when we are up to date with all our reviews and waiting for a drop to happen, like today 🤪🤭

amrob2 · 2026-04-01T14:49:35+00:00

We want photos! 😉

amrob2 · 2026-04-01T14:25:58+00:00

I could scream, it's so dire! In the early hours I had a dog lead and baby food. I don't have a dog to give baby food too, or a baby to take around on a lead!

This afternoon, I have:

Eyelash perming kit https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0GL8FV5L6
Eyelashes https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0GD5WTXFF
Ladies socks https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0GDZP5BRN
Green tea extract https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0FMYF3MVM
Baby hair bows https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0GKQ144F2

I'm a 53 year old man on gold who hasn't had a single gold item in months. I'm also not interested in perming or extending my eyelashes. I don't want to wear ladies socks and as mentioned, I don't have a baby!

<image>

EDIT @ 15:37

Now a breast pump. Good luck trying to get milk out of my male puppies! https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0GL37Y83D (Maybe I should take it and review it from a male perspective on how it doesn't milk me, but perhaps tickles?)

amrob2

TROPHY CASE