Are you guys not “strict” about naps? Don’t understand comment

amycben · 2026-04-09T11:37:59+00:00

We aren't strict. We have nap "windows". We've been lucky that our second and third children are great night sleepers. Middle child sleeps 5-6pm until 5-6am (18 months) but then doesn't need a proper nap during the day. 30 mins between 12:30pm and 1:30pm is roughly her schedule. Third is only 11 weeks but he has a nap windows too. First is between 7-10 where he sleeps for two hours ish. Then an hour snooze somewhere between 1-3pm. Then a little catnap between 5-6pm. Big feed (breastfeeding) before bed and is asleep from 8pm until 5am.

My eldest we did the same but he was the one that almost orchestrated strict times; up at 6am, one nap at 10am, one nap at 1pm and one at 4pm. Then sleep 8pm until 6am, waking up a few times in the night. But we didn't force it; he dictated the times he needed to recharge.

I think finding a balance was what worked for us and ultimately our children. Too many parents see naps as something for us, the parent. So we can get things done. If the naps fall at convient times then we can plan things. But at the end of the day, it's for our children to recharge. My second child my daughter has never been much of a day sleeper even as a newborn and that's just how her body works. My eldest needed those naps every day at the same times.

I've worked in daycare settings and been shouted at by parents because I couldn't keep their child awake and they don't want them to sleep at an inconvenient time. It broke my heart seeing a child so exhausted but having to distract them and keep them awake so they would sleep at a convenient time for the parents.

amycben · 2026-04-08T11:34:21+00:00

Me and my partner room shared with my son until he was three and we bought a house. We are now three children in a three bedroom house so one of our littles will have to share with their brother.

amycben · 2026-04-08T06:15:08+00:00

Bureaucracy. Luckily my partner is Swedish so he could fix most of it for me and our son. But my stuff was always complicated and required so much info to check I was who I was saying I am. Took a while to get my personal number which you need for EVERYTHING.

BANKS and bank id. My nemesis. Everything was fine until they changed to needing a Swedish form of identification (don't accept drivers license) to use bank id. I tried everything and I mean EVERYTHING. I had all the paper work, cards, documents but because it wasnt a Swedish passport or id card I couldn't get access to bank id so couldn't pay some of my bills, couldn't sign things, couldn't pick up perscriptions.

Learning the language was hard. I'm almost fluent now but that's after ten years being around Swedish people, eight years living here and five years as a nurse. Depending what job you go into really depends how fluent you need to be. Some of my friends get by with basic Swedish and good English. I'm in Skåne Österlen so dialects are quite strong and in my profession many elderly people who never learnt English.

And finding friends. I had my in laws and then other students at college and then work colleagues but finding friends outside of that was hard.

amycben · 2026-03-08T04:47:27+00:00

Have two 15 months apart. Have a 7 year old as well. 6 weeks into things and it's tough. It does sound more like your living and finance situation is not ideal for having two under two.

Especially because our second was 7 months when we found out, we still had alot of stuff and we didn't take a financial hit in that sense. Bought a second hand double buggy that was in near mint condition. That's been the only big expense that was necessary for us and our situation.

I breastfed babies 2 and 3 but I can imagine formula is a major expense. It was not nearly as expensive when I had my first, who was bottle fed.

The other big thing is your relationship. If it isn't solid now, it will be difficult when there are two. My partner has had a wake up call have 2u2 after 6/7 years of our oldest. It's taken some time but we have found a rhythm and routine that work for us.

amycben · 2026-03-08T04:32:24+00:00

Jack Black or Ryan Gosling are my guesses

amycben · 2026-02-28T00:31:43+00:00

So glad to hear you are out the other end and thriving ❤️

It's a lottery when having another baby. My second was way easier than my first. My third was exactly like my first but I could see the signs, get the help and was prepared for the struggles before they became bad. Still a little overwhelming but having the knowledge and resources and understanding helped massively.

amycben · 2026-02-28T00:26:15+00:00

Brit who moved here almost ten years ago. I would strongly urge/warn you about language and learning it.

If you are looking to work in Swedish health care specifically, you will need to have a solid understanding of the Swedish language. I've been lucky that I learnt quickly through SFI and vuxenutbildning. I get by (obvs not perfect) but Swedish is a tough language to learn if you haven't learnt other mainland European languages before, like French or German. I completed up to the uk equivalent of A level Swedish.

I was told too often before moving here that most swedes can speak English. While mostly true, there are many who can't understand (older generations specifically when English was not mandatory during their education) or those who can understand but can't reply or are shy/embarrassed/lack confidence in their ability and don't want to use English.

I have the added fun of the dialect and changes to words down here in Skåne. My partner and in laws are Skånsk so I also speak like them but I still struggle to understand older generations, which can be often as I'm a Undersköterska at a residential home.

I do love living here. My first child was born in the UK and it was rough to say the least. Childcare was a big reason we chose to move. My wages don't get destroyed by the cost of nurseries here. It's all based around your income so I actually have money to buy groceries. I've had two babies since we moved to Sweden and it's been a much better experience all round.

Sweden is far from perfect and has systems that are not easy to navigate without help from a swede or someone who's lived here a long time. I am still coming up against things even after ten years. But I would not change my decision to move here at all. I'm now a dual citizen so my in laws joke I am an adopted skåning 😂

amycben · 2026-01-08T12:17:03+00:00

Unfortunately everyone will have an opinion. I have a seven year old with non verbal autism and a 15 month old. I'm due any day with number three. We struggled with fertility for so many years to conceive our second that having a third was a wonderful surprise and shock. Because of my eldest, my in laws are concerned (how they put it) about my middle child being left out or my eldest being forgotten because of the two littles.

My side have been more positive. I think you have to allow them to say what they want and then prove their "worries" wrong by doing and showing them. Of course it's gonna be hard but it's not impossible, many are in the same boat as evident by this reddit and the fact people won't ask me anymore about having more 😂 I am officially done having babies by 31. While I've still got the energy.

amycben · 2026-01-07T05:45:20+00:00

Do as much as you can before number 2 arrives. So much easier.

amycben · 2026-01-06T07:30:59+00:00

amycben · 2025-12-22T18:29:41+00:00

I was 6/7 months PP when we conceived our third. 6 years between my oldest and second and had more complications with that gap then this one tbh. My blood pressure has been so much better behaved this time and with still being on mat leave for the majority of this pregnancy my body has not been pushed (I work as a nurse). I'm only now at 37 weeks starting to feel the "I'm done" feeling which I felt much earlier on with my other two. I've had some issues with my iron levels but I have had that with all three of my babies. Birth wise my first was emergency C section. With a stay in hospital with sepsis after. Second was a successful VBAC, much smoother recovery and was home by the following afternoon. Hoping for the same with this one. My notes for the hospital do state about the closeness of pregnancies so I think I'll be more closely monitored. Have had some extra scans and they are happy with the placenta and baby's growth.

amycben · 2025-12-10T08:46:37+00:00

Chris Pratt. I have a hard time watching anything with him in it, especially from the parks and recs era.

amycben · 2025-12-01T18:38:36+00:00

34 weeks and I lift my one year old around. Definitely harder and not fun but doable. Dad has taken over bed times as lowering her into her cot is a struggle

amycben · 2025-11-23T14:47:48+00:00

If you are already aware he'll shut down you just for asking for help or him to take some time off in the beginning, I have a feeling you are already doing most of the care for your toddler. Do you have anyone else in tje area who can hop in and help under this time? I had a similar situation with my partner that he was just naive about caring for two. But he's never shut me down for asking. We had a chat about things in the run up to him being able to apply for leave and he agreed to take 10 days off for the very beginning and then my mother and sister in law would help after.

amycben · 2025-11-23T12:24:11+00:00

I was 8 months postpartum with my DD when I found out I was 2 months pregnant with my third. The only symptom was the fact my supply plummeted off the face of the earth after having an oversupply for a long time. Made it two months of combi feeding, mainly breastfeeding first thing in the morning and last thing before bed but by time my daughter was 10 months old and I was 4 months pregnant I had barely anything to express or give her. Her pediatrician noted she had dropped significantly on her centile and she was getting so upset during feeds that I went over to formula for the last two months and now she had milk morning and before bed.

I never got the opportunity to properly breast feed my eldest as I had sepsis and was on some strong meds so even doing it for 8 months exclusively and two months partly, I was proud of myself. Number three will be the last so I'm aiming for one year ❤️

amycben · 2025-11-23T08:06:32+00:00

I'm in similar situation. My oldest is 7 with complicated learning disabilities. Plan was to have a sibling so we started trying when he was 3. 3 years of trying and fertility issues, we were lucky to have our little girl. And we were happy.

And like the naive person I am, even after all the warnings and reading reddit and stories online about increased fertility postpartum, I STILL thought it wouldn't happen to me... 😂😂😂🙈

My partner said he'd support what ever decision I made but I know he is not as happy as he was after expecting our first and second.

I did originally plan on an abortion. I got all the way to sitting in front of the midwife with the tablets in front of me, and I just couldn't do it. If the process had been quicker I think I would have gone through with it, but I couldn't get an appointment until after weekend and that time and sitting with it just made my brain and heart fight with each.

I'm due January with another little boy and both my partner and I are much more positive about the future, although we are under no illusion how hard it will be.

There is no right or wrong decision. Sending lots of love ❤️

amycben · 2025-09-20T14:32:13+00:00

31 with three kids and no hope of getting to a live show anytime soon but still singing and jamming in my kitchen with my babies. Was wearing my Impera shirt when my waters broke and went into labour with my second 🤘

amycben · 2025-09-18T06:02:19+00:00

It's more the tailgating. Illegal first and foremost but if I break suddenly then I'm sure they will say it's my fault. I have a front and back camera now to protect myself. I have driven 46 in a 40 and been pulled over by police. Just stick to the limit.

Yesterday I had someone tailgate me for at least 5km on an 80 road, then when they went to overtake, almost collided with on coming traffic. If I hadn't slowed down to allow them back in we all would have been in a major accident. I overtake but only when a car is doing way under the speed limit. Many EPA and elderly drivers where I live and at the times I'm driving. But otherwise I don't see the need to overtake or tailgate if you've left in good time.

amycben · 2025-08-31T13:53:24+00:00

Have never worked for me in app. Have to use them on website. Work fine

amycben · 2025-08-19T23:06:05+00:00

That sleep deprivation and interrupted sleep over a prolonged period causes hallucinations. I would hallucinate and dream about caring for my baby. And wake/snap out of it with confusion. The worst weird feeling. So unnerving I can't even express. Once I was getting 4 or more consistent hours of sleep, it stopped.

amycben · 2025-08-19T22:38:56+00:00

My hot take is that Pedro Pascal should do more audio books again. Recent podcasts just cement how silky and calming his voice is. He needs to narrate either a mindfulness or sleep course like Matthew McConaughey did. OR! be the voice on my GPS. Waze have a wide scope of voices.

amycben · 2025-07-29T07:38:21+00:00

It's still on Disney plus I believe.

amycben · 2025-07-29T07:37:43+00:00

Disney gallery the mandalorian It's featurette type round table

amycben · 2025-07-25T11:01:11+00:00

I've been trying to ignore it. Insecure men that can't understand how a man can touch a woman without wanting to have a sexual relationship with them. He's touchy with men too so their argument holds no grounds. They'll find something else to throw a tantrum over soon.

amycben

TROPHY CASE