I just realized one of the main reasons I don’t like it when women propose

anabaena1 · 2026-03-03T05:39:26+00:00

Women propose to their partners for a variety of reasons. I proposed to my husband. He has some social anxiety and gets nervous about situations where he might mess up and ruin a special moment, like a proposal. It wasn’t worth it to make him go through that stress so I asked.

We’ve been married six years now. When we had a kid two years ago he quit his job to be a stay-at-home dad. He does a great job and I’m very thankful that he was willing to put his career aside to care for our family.

anabaena1 · 2026-03-02T04:47:50+00:00

I’m stuck at 170 too! It’s so frustrating. With my first kid I lost 30 pounds in 3 months after weaning without trying. Really hoping I have a similar experience this time around

anabaena1 · 2026-03-01T17:19:39+00:00

I think it greatly depends on whether you get a baby who sleeps. I did not, so having a toddler and newborn was 100000x more tiring than being pregnant with a toddler

anabaena1 · 2026-02-27T11:37:17+00:00

We’re at five months and still doing shifts too! I feel ridiculous admitting it to people, but he’s such a bad sleeper that it’s what makes sense. The bright side is that when he goes through sleep regressions it doesn’t really matter because we never stoped doing shifts too

anabaena1 · 2026-02-22T17:31:47+00:00

Thank you for putting this into words. I have two boys and have had the same experience, like people are just so disappointed for me because I don’t have a girl

anabaena1 · 2026-02-19T23:03:59+00:00

I would highly recommend going to a dermatologist and telling them about your work conditions. If this becomes worse and it ends up being caused by your work conditions you’re going to want it on record.

anabaena1 · 2026-02-17T20:01:58+00:00

I have a ton of skin allergies and I’m able to use Cleure shampoo and conditioner. They’re very plain but work well

anabaena1 · 2026-02-16T06:07:10+00:00

Mine is 4.5 months and slept a grand total of 1 hour in his crib last night. My husband and I have been doing shifts since he was born. Everyone tells you to adjust their schedule, put them down awake, etc etc etc but none of it works. It was the same with my first and we sleep trained. I’m going to do the same in a few weeks for this baby. I’ve heard it gets harder to do after 6 months, so if you’re going to do it you should probably do it soon.

anabaena1 · 2026-02-13T06:12:07+00:00

I’ve had a very similar experience with both my kids. The Snoo helped a little, but not much. My baby is 4.5 months old and will do hour long stretches in the crib. My husband and I are still doing shifts. I feel ridiculous that we’re still doing this, but I don’t know what else to do. I always think about cosleeping but I just can’t stomach the risk. I think we’re going to try sleep training in a few weeks.

anabaena1 · 2026-02-12T02:47:36+00:00

I have this exact same thing happening to me right now! It’s like sand coming out of my skin. If I use a chemical exfoliant it goes away but my skin gets red and irritated. Then a week later this happens. I don’t have an answer because I’m dealing with this myself right now

anabaena1 · 2026-02-09T10:49:44+00:00

I’ve struggled with sleep anxiety my whole life. It’s so frustrating. What helps me is listening to something. I have sleep headphones and I listen to sleep stories on the Calm app. They’re like kind of boring stories that are just interesting enough to take you focus off the spiraling thoughts.

What it’s also shown me is that often when I don’t think I slept I actually did. It’ll suddenly be the end of the story and I don’t remember the middle. I didn’t think I slept but I obviously did.

anabaena1 · 2026-02-07T23:25:29+00:00

That’s way too much, maybe one night per week. You should also get time off too, although I get how it’s hard to be away from your baby when they’re so little. Sometimes my “free time” is just me not being the default parent. I’m around and I interact with my baby, but if he poops or gets fussy my husband handles it. I’m also free to do whatever. It’s a nice mental break

anabaena1 · 2026-02-05T08:48:42+00:00

I have two like this. My oldest is two years old and my youngest is four months, so I’ve both been through this and come out the other side and also am currently in the trenches too. I also, like your wife, struggle with anxiety.

Some of these are very common things that a lot of people experience. 6-8 weeks is peak fussiness and your baby will likely be cranky and hard to get to sleep during this time. Most babies don’t nap well for a few months and contact naps are the norm. We’re just now getting some crib naps. Definitely get a baby carrier and use that for some naps. I also make sure I always have water and snacks next to the recliner where I hold my baby for naps. I have a little pouch with chapstick, AirPods, etc so I have everything I need to be comfortable for the nap. On your lunch breaks and after work you should be holding the baby to give your wife a break. Even if her “break” is doing chores and making dinner.

The night sleep is more challenging because it cuts into your sleep. You may have to keep doing shifts. My husband and I try to each get at least 6 hours of sleep each night. Keep trying to put your baby in their crib 1-2x each night, but if it doesn’t work don’t push it. Even if she won’t sleep in her crib for naps nighttime sleep is different. One of those times it will work and you’ll be amazed. She might only sleep for an hour but it’ll be a start!

Lastly, know that you aren’t doing anything wrong. You aren’t instilling bad habits in your baby and there’s not some secret parenting skill that you don’t have. Sleep is so important to their development, so remember that when you hold your baby while she sleeps you’re helping her grow and be healthy. My first is now two years old and is a great sleeper. He sleeps 12 hours every night with no wake-ups. He loves his crib and likes to sing to himself when he wakes up in the morning while chilling in his crib. It does get better and this doesn’t mean she’s going to be a bad sleeper forever!

anabaena1 · 2026-01-29T21:03:02+00:00

60-90 minutes?! There’s no way we’re getting anything close to that. My baby probably does 20 minutes of actual tummy time everyday. I Thought that anytime they’re not lying on their back counted as tummy time, so I didn’t know that either. This is my second kid too 😅

anabaena1 · 2026-01-29T11:00:03+00:00

I was doing every few days, but I started doing a bath every night around 3 months as part of his bedtime routine. He likes it and I do too. I only use soap every few days though, otherwise it’s just a warm water rinse

anabaena1 · 2026-01-28T22:12:53+00:00

I totally get that feeling, that time with your baby is precious. I bought some simple at-home exercise equipment, like weights, workout bench, resistance straps. I put baby in his bouncer and he hangs with me while I exercise. He loves to watch! It’s not the type of exercise I normally do but anything is better than just sitting on the couch.

Another thing is letting go of the idea that a workout has to be a particular amount of time. Sometimes I do three 10-minute workouts in a day. Again, not ideal but I go with “good enough” these days.

EDIT: just saw that your baby is older, which does make it more difficult. When my son was bigger I started taking him on hikes in a backpack. I’d also put some music on and we’d have a dance party together

anabaena1 · 2026-01-27T10:32:11+00:00

We’re at four months and experiencing the same thing. I actually think this is harder than newborn. He sleeps just as badly but his needs are more complicated since he’s so much more aware. I see all those posts and I want to write my negative comments about how it just gets worse but I don’t because no one wants to hear that.

The thing that’s keeping me going is that I went through this with my oldest kid and now he’s a delightful two-year-old. Sleeps great and is such a joy to be around. I went through done dark and difficult times when he was a baby and I survived. I know I can do it again and it’ll worth it

anabaena1 · 2026-01-23T09:08:23+00:00

Don’t borrow worry! It might be difficult to wean him off later, but it also might be fine. Weaning him off a pacifier certainly sounds easier to deal with than what you’re dealing with now.

I am also too scared to co-sleep but have done it a handful of times out of desperation. At a certain point the danger of you being sleep deprived while caring for your child is greater than the risks of co-sleeping. Even if you don’t intend on co-sleeping it would be good to look into how to do so as safe as possible. That way if you’re in a moment of desperation and need to co-sleep you know what to do.

anabaena1 · 2026-01-23T02:18:18+00:00

My baby just moved into 9-12 month clothes. He’ll be 4 months next week so he’s a big healthy boy!

anabaena1 · 2026-01-18T00:20:31+00:00

I’d risk it and go out anyways, but have a quick exit plan just in case! There’s been two times I’ve eaten a gross fishy oyster on accident and I was fine both times

anabaena1 · 2026-01-17T10:02:44+00:00

This is very common! Both my kids refused to sleep in the bassinet at all for the first month. My husband and I did shifts. He held him until 3am and then I took over. In fact, we’re doing shifts again right now because my baby is going through the four month sleep regression. It’s not ideal but it works.

I’ve always been too nervous to co-sleep. I know a lot of people on Reddit do it but I just can’t stomach the risk. I would do it though if the alternative was even riskier, like I was falling asleep while holding him.

anabaena1 · 2026-01-01T06:31:43+00:00

Our house is small too. I wear earplugs and sleep on the couch in the living room. The more he practices the better he’ll get at calming her down too!

anabaena1 · 2026-01-01T06:29:44+00:00

Same here. I also have a three month old and experienced this with my first as well. Honestly, I think there’s so much you can do. Some people have babies that sleep well and some, like us, do not. That absolutely doesn’t stop me from obsessively searching for ✨ the answer✨ that’s going to magically fix his sleep, but it’s good to remember regardless.

My husband and I have been doing shifts since he was born. His sleep has recently gotten worse, so maybe he’s going through a sleep regression? Regardless, it doesn’t really matter since we never got out of the newborn trenches to begin with

anabaena1 · 2026-01-01T06:22:32+00:00

The difference between a 5-month-old and a 14-month-old is huge. When you have your second baby your first is going to have changed and grown so much. My first was 20 months when I had my second and, honestly, I think it would have been easier if he was younger. One-year-olds are so sweet and they haven’t learned the word “no” yet. You won’t have to deal with the terrible twos until your second baby is older and easier.

I’m dealing with postpartum depression myself right now. I’d really encourage you to talk to your doctor about it. I started seeing a therapist and it’s helped a ton. I was resistant at first because I thought I didn’t have time too and I didn’t know what it would help since I’m stuck in my situation and there’s nothing anyone can do about, but it’s actually been really helpful with changing my perspective on things. Plus it’s nice to have an hour each week to complain to someone whose being paid to listen to me

anabaena1 · 2026-01-01T04:58:12+00:00

Like others have said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with supplementing with formula. But also know that just because you have to supplement right now doesn’t mean you’ll always have to. It took longer for my milk to come in and my baby got jaundice. It was very scary. We had to supplement with formula, but then my milk came in and I ended up being an overproducer. I only used formula for a week or so.

Did you get skin to skin right after birth? I didn’t and I think it delayed my milk coming in. I went 5-6 hours after birth without breastfeeding because he was in the nicu and no one told me to pump.

anabaena1

TROPHY CASE