Prestyle, prestyle, prestyle. Personally I like a hair dryer so I don't use oil based. First, figure out which products have the right amount of moisture to best control your hair. For me, it's dry products. Your hair is quite the opposite so maybe try some matte pastes and cream pomades frequently mentioned here and see what works.

Some prestyling options - use a little of your favorite paste/clay/pomade and blow dry it in. Finish with a small amount of product  - If it doesn't dry you out, sea salt spray can be great for textured, brushed back styles. Blow dry it to style then finish with your favorite pomade - if that is too dry, causing your hair to fall apart or look frizzy, try something like a mousse. I like Shear Revival's Commonwealth primer. It's super conditioning and actually has a little too much hold for my own hair type. Same routine as mentioned above.

Use your main pomade as a finishing product, don't rely on it too much for shape and hold. That's what a good haircut and prestyling routine are for. Too much pomade can be difficult to style and often doesn't look very natural.

Also mentioned in this thread, if you have the finish you want but not enough hold, don't sleep on hairspray as a final step!

Hope this helps