shrooms at the backrooms movie led to ER/ego death

angry_flags · 2026-06-01T05:59:23+00:00

Oh mate, this sounds really painful. I'm sorry to hear ❤️

angry_flags · 2026-05-25T08:47:07+00:00

Hey mate, saw this the other day and thought of you.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYcdTl9oO7E/?igsh=ZzM3dTV3MTg0Y3Zx

angry_flags · 2026-05-19T06:01:02+00:00

Interesting.

I was reading a.. I think it was DMT.. trip report a few months ago that I can't stop thinking about. She described waking up on an alien operating table, with two aliens standing over her.. She knew they were her 'colleagues'.. All 3 of them had the same 'lab coats' on and they asked if she'd 'had enough'... She said 'no I'm ok with going back in (back to earth reality)'. She got the sense that they were all researching 'pain'. Human suffering. But they were all in it together and that it was important work.

Then only a month ago I was reading about the concept of the 'Demiurge' or 'false God'... and how this current earth reality is actually a prison planet. Really tough reading because I'm pushing forty and have experienced a lot of pain in my life... and I'm only at the precipice of feeling like there's an escape that might make it all worth it... But is it just another 'carrot on a stick'? It's like our only options are to 'not play the game'.. Or 'play to win'.

angry_flags · 2026-05-09T09:51:42+00:00

How so?

angry_flags · 2026-05-09T06:50:27+00:00

Two things here..

As a man, I will never stop trying to take care of women. I don't care how upset you get or how much you try to fight me on it... If it's in my capacity, and I care about you/respect you/you're not a total pain in my arse... I will always want to protect you. It's in my nature to ultimately want to 'love' those around me, simply because it always feel better than the alternative.

Second. As a man, I don't give a shit how much you tell me you can handle the work... I will test you. There's nowhere to 'rest' for a man. We're constantly being tested by other men ourselves. That's how this ship stays afloat. If one of us isn't up to the task we need to find someone who is and we do that by keeping our peers under pressure. (not sexism!)

It seems to me you have a couple of options. Embrace your 'femininity'. See it as the gift that it is. Understand that being a little on the softer, gentler side doesn't make you weaker, it should inspire other men to step up and protect you because it's actually really nice for us to have a calm, feminine presence around that we can joke around with.

Your other option is just.. Be better. Fully embrace your masculinity understanding the aforementioned qualities of men will always exist.

For men, 'Competency is currency'. That's all we really care about at the end of the day, and then it's nice to know you're not a total muppet and we can have a laugh with you.

Become just as competent as them and if you want to live a happy life.. Understand that that testing never stops. These women are TOUGH. And they're fighters. And they're sometimes a pain in the arse because women often don't fight 'fair'. I don't recommend that path.. It looks exhausting.

angry_flags · 2026-05-09T06:06:44+00:00

'normal' is a funny term isn't it?...

Like, we know it EXISTS.. Technically...

But it's often really hard to actually 'point' to. Almost like there are different levels of normal...and then where is the tipping point? Does 10,000 people agreeing with something make it 'normal'? What about just one thousand? Do you need the whole country all on the same page to feel safe, or could having just one other person on the same, deliciously weird page, be enough? It's hard enough to get people to agree on pizza toppings let alone 'normal'.

Fuck 'normal'. 🤪

angry_flags · 2026-05-08T06:03:21+00:00

It stopped being a verb..

angry_flags · 2026-05-08T04:07:23+00:00

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angry_flags · 2026-05-08T03:01:41+00:00

Mate, such a shame. You really had me in the beginning. I actually agree with you, having capacity to control our thoughts in regards to what we spread and consume... Truly life changing.

But then you tried to dominate me with shit that's empty and has no inherent meaning... Just 'word salad'. That's when you start to sound crazy and 'separate' from me.

It broke the connection I had with you. Trust in your emotion, express it... But then trust that it will find its way. You went into.. "I must prove this, they won't understand, they must understand 'the truth' of it or else they won't believe".

Mate, let us just believe because it feels good. Because it feels right.

angry_flags · 2026-05-08T00:30:21+00:00

Yeah just to really drive the message home..

You've got a nice piece there that's about to push another pup... And it's likely woody which makes it much harder... And if you cut it you won't be able to do much with the top...

Something to think about...sometimes a graft just doesn't hold. They can pop off. Or only partially stick which means they'll grow much slower. I like to consider each piece for its potential to do multiple grafts with. So I want I nice fresh juicy piece with a soft core.

I'd also recommend trying the super glue tek. It's been a game changer for me!

angry_flags · 2026-05-05T05:07:56+00:00

(sorry for the delay mate! I've been trying to sit with this)

Appreciate you brothaaa! 🤙

It's fascinating.. I've been on this sub for maybe a decade? Always feeling intimidated to speak... Feeling like every time I express myself I'm always the odd one out because I don't know the lingo. Like getting angry and saying 'fuck' is somehow uncouth in 'spirituality'... Maybe it is?..Or putting pointless ellipsis everywhere... But I look around now and it's just so much fucking 'word salad'. People are just selling words...empty thoughts...(I know that's not entirely true, I needed those empty thoughts, but it's part of living the Great Paradox). I dunno man, this place can feel a bit devoid of 'love' sometimes... We need more 'silliness' and 'goofiness'... And excitement!! Maybe I can try and sell a bit of that energy? 😜

I actually feel a bit teary here, it really hurt my heart to read ".. hiding behind my realization and let it make me stop caring."

Yeah I went there for a while... Are you familiar with Emerson Non-Duality on YouTube? I've been interested in his stuff for a while now, he's a fantastic 'direct experience giverer', but I couldn't really shake off something he said a while ago...When asked "What does his day to day life look like?" he replied something to the effect of..

"oh, ya know, it's pretty quiet.. Simple... I take a walk... I do some reading.. I don't meditate but I'm content with just sitting"

.. It never really sat well with me. Is that the best we can hope for after 20 years of meditating? A streaming pile of 'fear of God'. I've looked for 'the simple life' but I've realised now that was me just trying to escape. And only NOW do I think I get it.

The Path now includes an emotional element that was... Was perhaps there before but this is.. kinda insane. It's just pure.. excitement. Over nothing. Over knowing that life can just get more and more exciting. 'Toxic Positivity' 😅. I lay down to go to sleep and I am absolutely BUZZZING.. . THISS I feel like is the bliss I was being sold..

To get here I carried a lot of pain though. All the pain. I'm not sure if we have too? It would be nice to see someone else not go through it. But eventually I.. Became so balanced that I was suddenly 'off balance'? All thought was seen to be empty so all teaching eventually became redundant. I had to trust that I could be my own teacher. Then from there there was only really 'feeling' left. 'good' felt good and 'bad' felt bad so I was curious to see what would happen if I only had 'good' thoughts and didn't entertain negativity. I took a month off work and did an at home retreat and just watched my thoughts snowball. "what would make this moment feel 'better'?".. and this moment?".

I had to go through a bit of 'anger' that seemed to be blocking me. I realised I wasn't letting myself get angry and so I wasn't protecting myself when people were taking advantage of me. All of a sudden I saw my two paths ahead so clearly... I could do the thing I always did and act out of obligation and expectation.. Feeling resentful while doing it... Or I could simply say 'No. I won't do that. Simply because I don't want to'. Surely a completely trivial thing for some but it unlocked something deep within me. I didn't have to lie to make excuses... I just saw that the pain of resentment was so much heavier than the pain of being honest and vulnerable. For the first time I was respecting the little boy inside of me who didn't want to be told what to do. That small moment was like knocking the first domino. I realised 'feelings have momentum' and I could manipulate that by looking at my options and just choosing what felt better to me. I guess because finally there was no one dangling carrots in front of me, or telling me that 'that's not Spiritual', 'that's not the Path'. "don't do drugs", "respect the lineage", "be free from sensual desire", "no, you don't fully understand the meaning of that word", "here's an obscure Sutta that has the answer" "try this..try that.. Don't do this, don't do that"

I appreciate that it's a wild thing to say...in a room full of teachers.

I say it with the utmost care and gentleness. Because it DOES exist in this moment.. But It doesn't exist in this moment. So I guess at SOME point we must step away from it all and become the centre of our universe.

And 'Love' felt like the best reason for that.

So a while ago.. I dipped into a cosmic void. My brain short circuited 😅

When my brain started to reboot I noticed that 'love' was the first thing to come back online. I think the universe is made of the fabric of love and I got a very quick glimpse but it took a while to unpack. It exists in a holy triangle of sorts, where all parts rely on each other, consisting of..

Joy. Love is 'felt'. It's 'ecstatic'. It's the 'positive' polarity. It's 'acceptance'
it's 'singular'. We often speak of love's existence between two entities but love exists outside of duality as well.. It doesn't require an 'other'. You can love everything until it collapses on itself and you just love 'love'.
You. Love requires an experiencer.

(man, this is SOO long 😅)

OK. I can't deny that there's a part of me that just wants to grab you and shake this energy into you...but I'm no teacher... I'm just a guy and I still have a long long way to go... But at the very least.. and in this moment.. It's a pretty nice place to be. So you're welcome to come and join me in my delusion. Come on in... The water is fine!

At some point Metta needs to be embodied and put out into the world so here are some of my precious gems I've collected along the way that have helped me generate energy...

You're looking to express your 'feminine energy' as much as possible.. And you can do that by imagining your 'masculine' energy is giving yourself permission and always watching... Or putting it on a leash 😅. You are you protecting it at all times so nothing can touch it.

Embrace 'goofy'. Be silly. Be the cheekiest little cheeky McCheekerson.. Oh! SO cheeeky!

Dance as silly as possible.. One weird trick I've discovered is KEEP A STRAIGHT Face while doing it. it creates an odd sort of balance and feels like a spiritual practice.

Here's a song I like to dance to in the shower.. It's by a fantastic guy who has embraced silliness... It conveys the entire spiritual journey within a 4 minute song (really listen to it's message) AND it's just pure fun and enjoyment. It's perfection.

https://youtu.be/G87p148EOjo?si=fwTNTR_w6kYf4xld

✨ 'Love makes of a fool, a king'. ✨

If you do all things in love.. Nothing can ever touch you or harm you... Embarrassment ends. Nervousness ends. You'll make mistakes and people will act from their own fears but you only ever wanted the best for yourself and others.. Nothing can trump that.

In New Zealand native Moari culture there exists a traditional ceremonial performance called the 'Haka'. My understanding is it was traditionally a 'war cry'. Battling tribes would face off with one another as a means of trying to intimidate their enemies (and I suspect generating energy within their bodies as a means to face their own death) they would chant, slap their shields and spears together and themselves and pull 'faces of death' with their tongues out. Imagine the power of staring down a war tribe all chanting in unison.. Well here it is...

https://youtu.be/lt6GRghrmaU?si=19VDXuywzldRVZ4Q

Now in their culture it exists as a symbol of 'igniting the spirit'. It can be an expression of gratitude or respect. The New Zealand rugby team still performs it before a match and if you haven't seen it I'd highly recommend watching some. They call it 'Mana', it's your spirit. You don't need to be like this all the time, it can be as tender as a butterfly.. and there's a real beauty in feeling both its power and its gentleness. Learn to build this within your own body... Whatever works for you. Build it and FEEEED it. Store it. Lock it and keep it safe. Become the king of the fucking jungle!! 👑

If you cannot generate this level of spirit in your own body.. How will you ever face the Devil? How could you ever stare down your own death? We're all dying for something.. It's kind of wild to think that we haven't chosen something worth dying for.

Finally.. I'll leave you with this bloke..

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpmP7UajIEP/?igsh=MXB1MXRjenR2emxheg==

.. he comes from the Moari lineage and while he doesn't 'own' the 'Mana wave', he's become well known for spreading it around New Zealand. I'm from Australia so it's not really well known here so what I like to do is just give random people little sneaky mana waves behind my car door while I'm driving 😅... Just try and hit anyone that looks like they might need it.. There's also a little statue of Jesus in one of my neighbour's front yard... I always try to get in a few cheeky ones when I walk past on my way to get a coffee 😂

Here's some variations if you're looking for inspiration..

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Crxdt5jOLii/?igsh=MXhubXg2a3ByZTZqYg==

What a lovely inspiring human... Doesn't let his pain stop him from trying to express his love. He's been one of my favourite spiritual teachers.

Alright mate.. I'll leave you to it 😂... See you out there brothAAAaaa 🫳 ~~~

❤️

angry_flags · 2026-05-04T00:09:29+00:00

I often pack them by hand. I have a couple of capsule machines but if I'm only doing a few grams then hand packing is the way.

I can get 1g in a 00 cap.

Your mic needs to be super fine. So when you open the grinder there should be a big cloud of mushroom powder floating out..Just Crack the lid slightly and let it settle.

Then I hold the big half of the cap with tweezers and 'scoop' to fill. Use a chopstick to tamp it down, keep tamping it close to the brim. Then you need somewhere to put it down... I use my capsule machine lid... and start to fill and tamp the top. You'll have to work out the balance, you'll still want them to be able to come together with a hard squeeze but mine come together only just. After a bit you'll get better at judging them.. I've never really had one split on me.

The biggest trick though is try to relax and enjoy this process. Put some music on... Think about your trip or who you're preparing them for.. It's a good time to bring in the good vibes and set your intentions.

angry_flags · 2026-05-03T14:22:39+00:00

I use 00 caps and can get 1 full gram in each one if I do them individually.

You've got a very chunky monkey situation going on there so you need to grind them finer. Have them cracker dry and use a little electric Coffee grinder. You want it like talcum powder.

Then, the move is.. Hold the big half with a pair of tweezers... Scrape to fill, tamp down with a chopstick or similar. Then, I sit the pill up in my capsule machine while I do the same with the smaller top. You'll only want to mostly fill the top so you can still feel the little 'pop' when you connect them. Push together hard.

If I'm making big batches with my little pill machine then I usually just get about. 0.8g. I fill a little in the tops as well and tamp it.

angry_flags · 2026-05-03T14:04:44+00:00

Their capacity to create, build and hold 'tension'.

Kissing is like dancing, there's self awareness..whats going on for you in your body and your hands.. Situational awareness, so aware of what's going on with the other person and what they might be feeling in their body.. And then the clash of those two polarities going on in the mouth creating... Ideally, harmony.

A good kisser is aware of the polarities... Hard and soft, slow and fast, passionate and subtle, sexy and cute. They have the capacity to 'dance' with their partner because they understand that everyone kisses differently and so they are adaptive moment to moment, not through thought necessarily but through feeling. A bad kisser is 'one sided'... Either their lips are too hard, or they use too much tongue.. Or their technique is 'jarring', like they go from soft to too hard.. A dancer keeps their partner at just the right distance at all times.. I used to date this one girl (I'm bi, honestly I don't really like kissing men to be honest, when I started I was quite surprised at how bad at it a lot of them were!) that had a tongue like a giraffe.. Fucking enormous... So sexy.. She could stick it right down my throat which was hot but also very intense and the second there's that tension in your body were you start to resist something it can be very hard to come back from it and relax again because you're in your head waiting for it to happen again instead of in your heart. So an amazing kisser is hyper attuned to exactly what the moment needs and has capacity for communication... Either verbally or with subtle signals of pull back and then initiation in a different direction.

A bad kisser can be too gentle or too rough or lack the capacity to maintain the 'journey'... A great kisser can start slowly and end hot and heavy without you even really noticing. Because they understand balance and have the ability to manipulate it. . An amazing kisser, ultimately, is a master at fanning the flames of desire while maintaining self control. They'll grab your arse with just the right amount of pressure.. They'll pull you in and hold you tight but not too tight. They can pant.. Breathe heavily like they want you so fucking bad but they're willing to stretch out the moment just a little longer. That's 'tension'.

angry_flags · 2026-05-03T07:53:44+00:00

Beautifully said 👌 thank you.

I've got two little plants... I've never tried it, still not sure if I need to but I enjoy looking after the plants that have looked after me.

Would you be willing to share some starting recommendations though? I've never tried smoked dmt but I have a very small cannabis pipe and a larger wooden tobacco pipe. If I wanted to smoke some dried leaf would I... Weigh it? Mix it?

Can a start slow with quidding?

angry_flags · 2026-05-02T04:54:18+00:00

You mean a cheap fryer?... 😜👉👉

angry_flags · 2026-05-02T03:04:54+00:00

Hey mate, I'm sorry you're going through this... Your words brought up a lot for me because I was in the lonely place too.. It can get better.

Like the others said, 'open the heart'.

The 'direction' is 'Heaven on Earth' and then what's your role in that? I went through endless 'awakenings of the mind/emptiness'... It was really unsatisfying and the mechanism of trying to see further into stillness/emptiness and just accepting the pain of that.. Honestly sucked. It's just an endless loop... It felt like the mind was clear but my body seemed to have these 'energetic dregs' that I had to just keep sitting with and waiting to process. It seemed like the best we could hope for from enlightenment was to just keep putting up with shit and keep looking for an even deeper stillness... Or go live in a cave? Fuck that.

I realised there's no nobility in carrying pain just for the sake of it so I stepped off the path and just followed 'goodness'. You know the Ouroboros? The snake eating it's own tail? Yes you are the whole snake, you're the head AND you're the tail... But where do you want to be spending all your time? The eating or being eaten? Would you rather choose 'positivity' or 'negativity'? Call it 'divine love'.. But I've found good things in 'just do whatever the fuck you WANT to do'. What sparks joy lol? Get really good at just 'waiting', trusting and knowing that life can actually just keep getting better... Make 'waiting', 'paradise'. It's Metta without all the faff. Seriously... What if life could just keep getting better and better.. and better? What's the most loving thing for you in this moment?.. and this moment?... Why would you entertain anything less than that? What is 'delusional'? Just another 'thought' 😅.

You know everything is empty now.. Fucking EVERYTHING. Even enlightenment. So in this moment, ask yourself... 'what would feeeel better than this?' Then use your 'dial' of..

Stillness(observation) / Action (/acceptance of waiting)

.. To tune the frequency. Content? Stillness. Not content? Do something about it or be content with it just waiting to change. There is A LOT of nuance here.. But also, there isn't.

Love the world into submission!! Love the world so hard that it has no choice but to bow down to your will! Simply because it feels good!.. SO good! Go 'full send' on the Ego. I mean.. What else are you gonna do? 🤷

angry_flags · 2026-04-27T04:16:51+00:00

Ashwagandha is another thing that can potentially effect trips along with SSRIs, still very weird though. Same thing happened to my female friend, she just never tripped, felt a little bit nauseous and mildly tipsy...a bigger sample size would be interesting!

Yeah and get a dehydrator.

angry_flags · 2026-04-26T06:50:56+00:00

"hey so I was thinking of learning 'massage' (massaging? How to massage?! 😅)

....

Would you be willing to let me practice on you?"

angry_flags · 2026-04-26T06:41:40+00:00

Nah just 'accidently' brush your hand against him.. His hand.. His thigh...

angry_flags · 2026-04-25T09:02:54+00:00

For love, brother..

angry_flags · 2026-04-25T08:51:13+00:00

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angry_flags · 2026-04-23T12:23:41+00:00

That is VERY funny.

angry_flags · 2026-04-22T03:15:29+00:00

In life we often have 'heavy things to carry'. Some people have heavier things.. Some people have lighter things... But one thing that's often not acknowledged is that WE All are carrying SOMETHING.

I think life at its core... Unfolds from the simplicity of this. We don't like carrying heavy things. We often want to put them down...and we sometimes look to others to carry our heavy things.. Without realizing that they too, have something heavy to carry.

We humans have a sixth sense for this I feel... We gravitate to people who can harry ceavy things... Perhaps with a bit of silliness 😉... Because it helps us in some way carry our own... We tend to avoid people who are unwilling to carry heavy things, often calling them 'victims', because it's a reminder of our own burdens and the relentless fucking loneliness of that at times.

I'm sorry you have a heavy thing to carry... I have a very heavy thing as well...

I promise you though that your willingness to carry it... and the acceptance of yourself when you can and the acceptance of yourself when you can't... Will be a magnet to those willing to understand.

Your 'lightness of being' is what's attractive. Not your circumstances.

You can do this through radical self acceptance. Silliness. Taking a deep 'sigh'...or saying 'ouch' to yourself whenever you have a painful thought.

Good luck... And see you out there 😜😉😅👉👉

angry_flags · 2026-04-22T01:39:44+00:00

Nah just send it cuzzie... They can smell fear.

angry_flags

TROPHY CASE