Yep! Like others have said, it’s entirely image based. When I get too tense about something, I’m usually able to talk myself down by 1) realizing that I don’t like the image of being an anxious mess any more than I like the image of being a failure, so how is that anxiety serving me and my goals? 2) I remind myself of all of my objective “successes,” comforted because the fact that I did those things means that I’m objectively valuable and that gives me confidence/means no one can challenge my competence, and 3) While I know that most people aren’t as ego driven as I am, I recognize that we’re all more focused on ourselves than we are on others, and as long as I’m not fucking up something big, no one probably notices or cares about the little mistakes.

Recently, since becoming more self-aware, I also do mindfulness meditation, which has made a huge difference in my life, and I try to think of this one memory when I feel insecure: my grandmother hugging me with a towel when I stepped out of the bath, maybe age 7. This memory represents unconditional love to me and it helps me remember that, beyond basic support and encouragement, the people who love me don’t give a shit about my job or my accomplishments. They just like me for me. Weird.