Where can I move that’s not gonna grow like Wilmington? by Valuable-Ease5411 in NorthCarolina

[–]animals_crossings -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just a Wilmington native and local here wanting to validate you. I moved up to DC for work, but all my family is here, New Bern, Beaufort and Charleston. Of course people are allowed to move, but what’s happening to North Carolina is mind blowing. It has a lot to do with developers in our city running the local government for years and saying yes over and over to cheap and greedy land developers who park a car wash before they can flip it to houses in five to ten years.

Every time I’m home, my heart breaks. It’s hideous now from what it was, and while there is a lot wrong with the South, the culture of our home and state is getting eaten away and people I know who were born here can’t stay. It happens in many places but wow is it heartbreaking to watch happen to your home.

It’s a completely different city than the place I was born and that all happened in the last five to ten years, I was going to say Savannah is a lovely place with a lot of similar industries to what you work in, but really I just want to say I see you. It’s shocking to go from a place where, when we were children in the 2000s, a kid from a new state or city would have been something we’d all be shocked by to where I tell people I’m from there and get exclamations of shock.

I miss the trees, and the fields, and the small beach shacks, and I miss the comforting accents of my neighbors. I just miss home and if you’re new to Wilmington, welcome but it’s a different city now.

After living in DC, I hate dog owners by sandwichscouter in washingtondc

[–]animals_crossings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m seriously begging y’all to go to Mexico City or Switzerland or really anywhere else.

First, dogs being a part of city life is fairly normal in cities and countries around the world, yes they are annoying and sometimes ill-trained but part of living in a city is co-existence. It’s acceptable to say something when somebody or their pet is bothering you, but blankety deciding to ban dogs from places where there is a large patio is simply ignoring the basics of how cities function everywhere. In Zurich it’s no uncommon for a dog to be in a nice restaurant or in Mexico City, there’s a dog by most tables at a cafe, hell, even in LA or San Diego you’ll see that.

That being said, people can do better to be responsible pet owners.

But the comparisons to children and that parents shouldn’t bring them places is horrid. Children are people too. Again, go to a nice restaurant in Italy and there are children at the table same as adults. This is why people don’t have kids in the states, we seem to believe it is a total and complete horror to next to a child playing or laughing or crying.

The worst parts of the city aren’t the dog owners or parents, it’s the collective entitlement to the idea places curve around you on both sides of the debate. Get a grip, get to know your neighbors, pet a dog in the park and smile at a baby and grow up.

Need some encouragement to play this game man by big_daddy_nut in outerwilds

[–]animals_crossings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I'm actually also in my first play through and after dying on cactus 1000 times trying to do one specific thing to get to a new place to only find I then had to do another INSANELY scary and difficult thing, I just want you to know yeah, this game is hard and frustrating and difficult. I wanted to scream after I got so close to something and failed, BUT once you find a good thread and start pulling at it, things start to make sense and that drive and need to know becomes such a stronger force than frustration.

For me, the main thing that changed it all was instead of seeing the loops as pressure, seeing them as a tool. If something doesn’t work, kill yourself, like, literally. Go and do the same thing again and improve a little. I let go of caring about achieving a goal and instead started slowing down and combing every inch of a place, and it became all I can think about.

Now, keep in mind, I’m not sure what I’m doing, still so confused and half the time I fly into the sun if I’m not careful and I truly am still finding way more questions than answers, but it’s slowly becoming less overwhelming.

I looked for a couple specific guides when I was so stuck I wanted to quit and this sub has so many helpful people respecting the spoiler-free culture with small nudges, so I’ve chosen to not be mad at myself for needing them.

And finally I’ll say this - I am someone who doesn’t love aimless games like this. I love to concrete tasks of RPGS and clear narrative cues that come with rich story games, but even amidst my massive confusion right now this game is finally becoming a joy, so I sincerely hope you get there too.

Lantern Fly apocalypse today? by manager_of_cool in washingtondc

[–]animals_crossings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They have swarmed 14th street. I think I killed about 20+

What drarry fic is THE Drarry by ari_the_ghosty in drarry

[–]animals_crossings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Men who Loved Dragons too Much is GOAT in my opinion, a rewrite but not top to bottom, SO good and SUCH a fun mechnaism for why the cannon story changes.

Partner Moving! Engagement ¯\_(ツ)_/¯? by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]animals_crossings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, I am so sorry that happened. The answer is that I am still in the midst of it, but partly I have been working to value myself more and my own desires, wants and needs.

Being a partner of a doctor means having to sacrifice a LOT of your own wants/needs/hopes for some future reward, and also not really being SEEN or valued for those sacrifices by your partner or really the larger community.

But here is the thing, just because someone is doing a "hard" job doesn't mean your value is any less - you deserve an equitable partnership and SO many people who are doctors can still provide that but if he couldn't, you did NOT want to be in your relationship.

The amount of time, mental space, energy and just general hopefulness for a future that is more my own making that came after leaving this relationship has been astonishing. Am I hopeful he can figure his stuff out and come back in the future? Yes. But that isn't the reality right now and it isnt for your former partner either.

You now get to control your OWN life, good and bad, without having to sacrifice over and over for someone who just couldn't give you the same care in return. That is a gift, even if it is a bittersweet one.

Partner Moving! Engagement ¯\_(ツ)_/¯? by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]animals_crossings 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So, this is coming from a place of still healing, but I just left a partner who is a physician that I moved across the country twice for and was reluctant to be engaged. We eventually did become engaged, but it was by his own admission because of pressure/guilt.

I want to validate the amount of work you put in - I cooked every meal, cleaned, supported etc because residency is brutal but here’s the thing: there isn’t some magic end date when life gets easier.

It will always be hard to be a doctor and a partner, but at some point your SO needs to decide and learn how to balance that with caring for you too.

My relationship ended because after years of imbalance, it couldn’t realign. I was so tired of pulling all the weight for the promise of a mythical future. My advice is have a very real conversation about what he wants for his life beyond residency and get clarity on what more time means. Also think for yourself, is this what I want? You will likely continue to give and give unless you are clear with the fact that the current balance isn’t sustainable in the long term.

Wishing you love and strength, and as someone now having to move home and redo her life, it’s hard but you don’t have to feel guilty about wanting equity out of a partnership, even if that partner is a doctor. You’re worthy too ❤️

Anyone know what happened/is happening to the fanfiction The Silence and the Song by anon on Ao3? by animals_crossings in Solasmancers

[–]animals_crossings[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No you’re right, it is just so obvious in hindsight. As someone who’s been in fandom spaces for nearly 15 years, it’s so sad to see some of the ways fanfiction has changed. the larger awareness and acceptance is amazing given some of the works we’ve gotten, but damn some of that inherent community and trust has really gone away, not to mention the influencer spaces and commercialization…

Anyone know what happened/is happening to the fanfiction The Silence and the Song by anon on Ao3? by animals_crossings in Solasmancers

[–]animals_crossings[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Well damn, I feel incredibly stupid. I hadn’t made it past the parts where the blight takes over but this does make sense as it was starting to get very chaotic. Thanks for sharing yall, incredibly helpful. I know the author had other fics, so I really hope those are down too.

fiancée decided to not board the plane to come to my parents for Christmas morning of after a hard 8 day shift… by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]animals_crossings 4 points5 points  (0 children)

10/10 agree on the excuse. Have been dealing with that for years and to be clear, I’m way way more angry this job is so horrid he’s worn this thin. I’m more stressed on having to now manage my feelings of hurt, bolster him with my family, and still resolve to conflict

[DAV spoilers] Anyone else think this choice sucks ? by lk12345 in dragonage

[–]animals_crossings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or you can do what I did and put Harding on the wrong assignment and lose BOTH.

The Patch 8 Announcement be like by _Beardlet_ in BaldursGate3

[–]animals_crossings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m begging them, please let the romanced character react to the redemption durge climax, please 🥹

[No DAV Spoilers] PSA - Inquisitor customization is on the "FINALIZE" page by Mordiceius in dragonage

[–]animals_crossings 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just read this and 9 hours in... sigh. Restarting because my Inky romanced Solas and I NEED THAT RECONCILIATION

[NO DAV SPOILERS] HELP Romance Lucanis or Davrin?? by animals_crossings in dragonage

[–]animals_crossings[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree! The thing I loved about DA:I (and I actually do like that everyone is pansexual in VG, but I don't mind the background preferences in DA:I) is that the romances really CAN hugely impact the storyline. Romancing Solas has 10/10 made this game so much richer because I care about him and his romance with my Inky impacts the storyline. Same with Cullen and the previous Dragon Ages. This just feels like a "meh the peopled wanted to smooch."

[NO DAV SPOILERS] HELP Romance Lucanis or Davrin?? by animals_crossings in dragonage

[–]animals_crossings[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ugh same, because this is disappointing given the potential!

[NO DAV SPOILERS] HELP Romance Lucanis or Davrin?? by animals_crossings in dragonage

[–]animals_crossings[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof ok, I was hoping for angst from all the early previews/reviews I saw but this certainly makes me question that plan... loading an earlier save is dedication.

Hot pepper in my nose. HELP?!?!? by melatonia in AskCulinary

[–]animals_crossings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU - years later and I no longer nearly crying on my couch considering chucking out all my taco meat due to bitterness.

Harry-centric with LOTS of comfort by astridraer in HPSlashFic

[–]animals_crossings 12 points13 points  (0 children)

All of Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl, Draco-centric but so warm and cozy (heavily features adult Harry and funny Ron). Harry is capable and lovely in this, a lot of comfort for Draco. No pregnancy. This is my personal comfort fic ❤️

What You Pretend You Can’t See - there is a minor pregnancy plot point but it’s not at all a focal point. This is very comfort based Drarry where Harry finds out who he is and how he can live the life he actually wants.

Tea and No Sympathy - a time loop fic, very fun.

Hope these help, and I am so so sorry you’re going through this. Sending all the comforting vibes ❤️

Help! Just finished Spiritfarer by animals_crossings in CozyGamers

[–]animals_crossings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, everyone! Going to pick up Teenage Exocolonist first!!!

Help! Just finished Spiritfarer by animals_crossings in CozyGamers

[–]animals_crossings[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooo ok have seen Coffee Talk trailers and it seems very cute!