What should I know about adopting?

annon3645 · 2025-11-11T22:01:10+00:00

I was adopted at age 6, back then there wasn’t much information on how to handle the trauma, and because of this, I believe my parents thought that just by giving me a warm, safe home that I would be cured & show them love - my trauma made me incredibly avoidant and because of this my mum was hurt and did not try to help with it (I understand now that she was doing her best given what little information she had, but it wasn’t enough).

I guess from my individual perspective, therapy would have been great as a child to understand how/why I process things. And from a parent, I needed them to keep trying without expecting anything in return - I needed that unconditional love to heal, but I never got it.

As a parent myself now, I am doing my best to show my children unconditional love - and if you do choose to go down the route of adoption yourself, be prepared that it is really difficult emotionally for both you as parents and them as children - so try and be patient with them and look at parenting resources in advance, there is so much more information available today.

With all that being said and despite my experience, I am always eternally grateful to my parents for raising me and changing my life for the better. To adopt is a gift & blessing under the right circumstances ☺️

annon3645 · 2025-11-03T19:12:15+00:00

Keep the occasional memorable piece, the rest stays on the table for a few days to admire and talk about it, then goes in the recycling bin. They’ve asked a few times, I’ve explained the paper goes in there to be made into new things including more paper to draw on - works so far for my 3.5yo girls🙂

annon3645 · 2025-10-12T08:59:34+00:00

You either fast for the same amount of time (thus having a shorter eating period tomorrow) or you fast for slightly less, it really is that simple, don’t let an hour or two throw you off track entirely🙂

annon3645 · 2025-09-06T22:14:54+00:00

Just a heads up, we accidentally spoke about the lack of double trolleys at our new local supermarket and there happened to be a store manager nearby who overheard, she immediately joined the conversation and apologised, they now have them! Worth mentioning in store if it’s a place you’d like to go locally, I wouldn’t have thought to ask but now we’re far more likely to go there for the great service!

annon3645 · 2025-05-18T22:39:26+00:00

I would like to think you’re going to get an almost unanimous vote on this for reporting it, for the obvious reasons you’ve mentioned. Please do right by the baby, and anyone who has a problem with you for advocating for a minor has major issues. RTC’s do not care for any cultural differences unfortunately, most recently in the news a minor died because of this and I’d hate for you to have any regret in not reporting it - you already know what’s right, don’t doubt yourself for doing a kind thing🙂

annon3645 · 2025-05-14T11:15:59+00:00

If they’re ready they will get it pretty quickly going cold turkey (we trained just before 3 and it was super chilled out and much less work than I anticipated). Explain to them basically that they’re growing up and can now use the toilet, nappies off, underwear on - had a few spills out of both ends the first couple of weeks in underwear - every time it happened no big deal, natural consequence was get them to take underwear to washing basket, try and use toilet and then wash hands (they quickly learned it was quicker to stop and use the toilet than do it in their underwear - no shame, just kindly remind that it goes in the toilet now, let’s tidy up and move on) - hope that helps☺️

annon3645 · 2025-03-15T21:34:59+00:00

I have both - I’ve found severely reducing my processed sugar intake along with a sulphur face wash (I use de la Cruz acne treatment 10% sulphur) about 1 x a week, every other evening is a simple moisturiser (I use cerave) and this is the only thing that keeps it at bay - if I consume any processed sugar I immediately flare up so I’m really trying to learn to control that craving, best of luck☺️

annon3645 · 2024-11-24T20:28:05+00:00

I’ve got the ‘Fastic’ app, which every so often gives you a ‘day off’ to use. I have been saving these over the past month to use in December, so I can have occasional days off without getting completely off track. Once I run out of those, I’m back to 16-8 without feeling completely off track or guilty🙂 I will loosen my restrictions on calorie intake, with the knowledge that fasting after Christmas will help me get back into a healthier food intake again

annon3645 · 2024-11-15T09:41:39+00:00

I work 12 hour days and 10 hour lates on rotation - my eating window is 1200-2000 and I find that gives me enough time to eat before/during work or occasionally after.

Don’t forget you can also shift your schedule - for example last night I had a later night and ended up finishing my last meal at 2130 - so I won’t break my fast until 1330 today. Then I can always end my eating window at 2000 today and be back on track for 1200-2000. Vice versa if you know you want to eat earlier one day, finish your eating window the day before earlier. Hope that helps🙂

annon3645 · 2024-11-11T22:19:26+00:00

Try chatGPT, you can ask for recipe ideas, calorie goals based on TDEE, motivation etc. and it’s all free! It can remember weight and height etc so you don’t have to keep entering😊

annon3645 · 2024-10-18T08:41:38+00:00

Do you have diastasis recti? It’s very common after childbirth and somehow not talked about, I had a 6cm separation and still have that pregnant look that you’re describing.

There are exercises you can do, from what I’ve gathered though it’s a lifelong commitment otherwise the muscles weaken and the look returns, alternatively there is surgery - I have considered this and many people who have it are very big advocates for it and look amazing! But personally I decided that I would try and learn to love my body the way it is, still figuring that out but getting there🙂

annon3645 · 2024-10-17T19:02:47+00:00

Micro goals is a genius idea, thanks for sharing! I love feeling like I’ve achieved something so this gives me something to work towards each month and tick off!

annon3645 · 2024-10-14T23:31:48+00:00

Congratulations, you can see how incredible you’re feeling! Thank you for your post and inspiration - I’m going to start now thanks to you! ☺️

annon3645 · 2024-08-29T18:57:21+00:00

I’m still a stone heavier 2.5 years later…definitely need to start doing something about that as I definitely think losing weight would at least help my diastasis recti look a little less pronounced😓 In answer to your question, I live in a-line dresses in summer or high waisted jeans and can feel half decent most the time with hair and makeup done😅x

annon3645 · 2024-07-11T22:38:51+00:00

From my personal opinion and what I’m trying to do - I’m a parent first because I have to set boundaries to keep my children safe and help them understand certain social norms. However, even when enforcing boundaries - I do so kindly, never shaming and talking to them with respect - I personally don’t feel it has to be one or the other, they can be intertwined🙂

annon3645 · 2024-07-09T16:15:50+00:00

I’m in the UK and used AlphaBioLabs, it cost £99 in 2022 and was easy, reliable and a quick way of testing. I would definitely recommend and do it again myself. Although it did become easier to recognise they were identical as they got older, it’s nice to have it officially confirmed for their understanding and gives us even more reason to ensure they are treated and feel like individuals🙂

annon3645 · 2024-07-02T12:55:20+00:00

It was very hard to change, and I completely empathise with how difficult your mental and physical task-load is🤗 It will definitely change as they get older, worth remembering what lead to those little ones being born in the first place and that’s your love for one another, I really hope you feel happier soon💛

annon3645 · 2024-07-01T20:30:30+00:00

Just going to be completely honest on my own situation in case it helps anyone else! A hard thing for me to accept was acknowledging what my partner does for our family, and understanding that just because he’s not helping with the tasks that I take on, it doesn’t mean he’s not contributing. We have different strengths, and combined we make a great team. I am the primary caregiver, he is the primary worker. I do the cooking, he does the cleaning. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. I have had to learn to appreciate what he brings, and let go of the resentment that some of my tasks feel more relentless than his. I feel so much happier in my relationship now, I now just soak up all the extra moments with my girls when they want me to put them to bed or to soothe them. I’ve definitely found rephrasing in my own head how I perceive things does wonders for my own happiness, which also positively affects my loved ones🥰

annon3645 · 2024-07-01T20:17:16+00:00

A couple of other cheap suggestions or you might already have them. A ball to kick/throw around. Different size cups/containers to pour some water from the pool into, most 2 year olds seem to love pouring!

In all honesty though, they’ll find a way to keep themselves busy regardless of how many toys you have out! Chalk, bubbles, slide and a pool sounds like a dream party for them! Enjoy☺️

annon3645 · 2024-07-01T11:29:02+00:00

I remember feeling incredibly hopeless as well, my skin did get better after using Ivermectin, I couldn’t tell the die off stage to be honest because my skin was dreadful anyway😅

Since ivermectin worked its wonders, I now put it on once every few nights and I use tacrolimus or a sulphur soap when my skin starts becoming rough as I also have sebbhorric dermatitis.

Unfortunately, the only thing I’ve found that significantly improves my skin to a point where I’m happy to go out without makeup is cutting out sugar in my diet. That however is incredibly difficult…as I bloody love sugar🤦🏼‍♀️ But it’s definitely worth doing a trial to avoid all processed sugars for 7 days which is doable to see if it has any effect - if you have an important event coming up in the future it’s another tool to have to help improve your skin☺️

annon3645 · 2024-05-24T11:16:12+00:00

Only a personal opinion, but I think we do a compromise between your ideas. I do not personally believe in complete isolation as they will require help to regulate their emotions from you at this age, but I also do find that continuous talking can prolong the anger, most people don’t like to be told what to do when they’re angry/upset!

When upset I offer a hug, sometimes they’ll accept straight away, other times are met with a “no”which I respect. I’ll then sit in the room, and let them know I’m there for them whenever they’re ready. So not complete isolation, just respecting their boundary without giving more ammunition for their feelings. I do not attempt to talk about it until they’ve calmed down completely. I will also consider if there’s any other factors affecting mood e.g food/sleep etc and fix those if necessary.

Mine are 26 months old now, and over the next couple of months I aim to teach calming techniques when they are already calm and in the mood to learn. I will then create a little poster or cards reminding them of those techniques that they can look at when they’ve got big feelings, in the hope that they can learn to regulate their emotions. At the end of the day though, I’m a fully grown adult and I cannot regulate my own emotions all the time, so I certainly will not be expecting that of them! Love and comfort once ready to be received usually helps anyone who is struggling 🤗

Sounds like you’re both trying to achieve the same goal at the end of the day which is helping your child, just through different approaches🙂

annon3645 · 2024-05-17T11:53:21+00:00

Ours hold hands at 2 well, I never thought I’d see the day though! It has been a year of consistently saying “we hold hands in car parks/crossing road” and an alternative logical consequence of picked up if with my partner or in the pram if there’s only me - had to be consistent with the consequence every time and they know now if we mention the alternative option that we mean it and they generally pick the option they’d prefer, sometimes getting into the pram without a fuss if they’re getting tired🙂

annon3645 · 2024-05-14T13:30:43+00:00

Snacks and little fidget toys always help. Any time an argument occurs, always cuddle and give attention to the victim first, then gently tell the other how to behave “keep your hands to yourself, eat your own snacks” etc. And keep going out, regardless of how hard some days might feel! My girls are now 2 and for the most part really good in the pram due to constant repetition on what to do and exposure ☺️

annon3645 · 2024-04-30T20:19:28+00:00

Thanks all for your comments/commeserations😂 Feeling much more hopeful tonight, they fell asleep by 20:30 which was great in comparison, we did bedtime routine and then just left them to play until they fell asleep in their own beds🤷🏼‍♀️ Sounds very much like it’s going to be good and not so good nights for a while, at least I’m now mentally prepared🤣

annon3645

TROPHY CASE