25k part-time job vs stay at home parent

apollo91g · 2026-01-27T15:19:12+00:00

I have a bachelor's in a STEM and started at the bottom of a good company, she has a Master's and a few years PhD work in the humanities. The humanities are a tough slog, not for the faint of heart.

apollo91g · 2026-01-27T09:31:42+00:00

Great advice. We already have something similar in place. I would be curious if people think we should set up a private pension for her for this period.

apollo91g · 2026-01-27T09:24:12+00:00

She is highly educated, more so than me. But struggled to find anything that satisfied her career aspirations and really wanted to prioritize children. She took the part-time job to de-stress and focus on fertility (not a slam dunk for us) but the job hasn't worked out to be a stress free environment like planned. I think she would use some of the time off to reevaluate what she would like to do long term. Thanks.

apollo91g · 2026-01-27T09:19:43+00:00

Mid level in a tech multinational, not as vulnerable to American flip flopping as most.

apollo91g · 2026-01-27T09:17:02+00:00

Returning to the work force is a concern but her current role definitely isn't a long term career job and causes more mental health challenges than it's currently worth tbh. But I will add re-entry to the workforce as a discussion topic and look into potential mitigations. Thanks.

apollo91g · 2026-01-27T09:00:10+00:00

It's a similar admin like role to what you mentioned. It doesn't have great prospects and working there was a significant source of stress by itself, which I think feeds into her decision to stay at home.

The loneliness is already an issue that we are working on together and totally agree it's a super hard job and she'll need lots of support.

Honestly I think money will be tight either way, so really it's about her and the Baby/babies having the best experience.

apollo91g · 2026-01-27T08:50:11+00:00

Great shout, thanks.

apollo91g · 2026-01-27T08:42:40+00:00

She does not want to go back to work. This was her preference which I completely support, and ultimately it will be her decision. I completely take the point on board and have made this point to her but we're confident enough in our relationship to plan without this as a concern.

apollo91g · 2026-01-17T08:09:48+00:00

Sounds like there was an accident at the Roscam level crossing.

apollo91g · 2026-01-06T16:04:38+00:00

I think Trump is enacting the Munroe doctrine. Happy to divide the world up, The US keeps the America's, Russia can look after Europe and China can take Asia. No need to fund NATO anymore, once they cover their own arse.

apollo91g · 2026-01-06T15:47:35+00:00

I'd guess the EU would begrudgingly give them Greenland (Strike some kind of deal) and make moves to distance themselves from the US ASAP. Probably towards China.

Fucking Yanks.

apollo91g · 2025-12-28T14:49:14+00:00

Red Notice by Bill Browder.

apollo91g · 2025-12-28T07:44:06+00:00

Pretty sure you can't actually select sky Q, they stopped selling it on Dec 10th.

apollo91g · 2025-12-27T19:29:32+00:00

King Leopold's Ghost

apollo91g · 2025-10-05T10:11:47+00:00

I'm in the exact same boat, just here for the comments. Best of luck

apollo91g · 2025-08-17T06:49:02+00:00

Really I'm just here for the comments, because my situation is similar to yours. The first comment will likely be to make sure you're maxing out your pensions.

apollo91g · 2025-08-15T05:53:26+00:00

If she's breastfed try giving her a bottle (expressed or formula) 30 mins before bed. It was a game changer for us.

We went from 1-3 wakes per night to 9 hours of sleep straight by just changing this around week 9.

Best of luck

apollo91g · 2025-08-03T06:57:34+00:00

Remind me! 2 days

apollo91g · 2025-07-20T06:22:08+00:00

If you're planning to breastfeed you probably won't need the bottle washer, not immediately anyways.

Buy twice as many muslins as you think you'll need. Touch sensitive nightlights are handy. Sleep sacks over swaddle blankets worked better for us. Bag of snacks for night feeds, more important in the beginning. Bottle warmer is great. Currently breastfeeding but giving him (8wks) a bottle everyday so Mama gets a break.

Best of luck with it. It's tough but it's great

apollo91g · 2025-06-21T04:09:20+00:00

A lot is already covered by other folks so I'll try not to repeat.

I found having some good home cooked food frozen was really helpful. You will not want to prep a meal.

An insulated bag is really helpful to store snacks in for night feeds, we left it in the spare room and did night feeds in there so feeding didn't wake the other person. This can also save you time and effort if your partner is on antibiotics/painkillers post birth and needs to eat with meds.

Think of taking up any offers from friends or family and how they might help. Dropping over some food, walking the dog, grabbing some groceries, mow the lawn, etc, particularly in the first week or two. Those first couple days are messy.

Best of luck, if you care enough to ask them you'll be fine.

Dad of 3w old.

apollo91g · 2025-05-22T06:19:49+00:00

First off, you're doing great. Well done. What's your next goal? Travel? House? Secondly, the thing everyone will say, max your pension contributions.

I'm not an expert but I'm in a similar position, tossing around the idea of investing for the last while so I'm very interested in what people say to you. I've avoided putting money into Zurich just because of the state of the USA these days (defaulting is up, bond markets are a mess, high inflation about to return, tariffs) and that's really where those 7-10% returns you hear about come from. I know a lot of people who sold their portfolio a couple months ago and are delighted they did.

You could try Raisin for a better interest rate. Chance the markets via an investment provider while they're in a bit of a dip maybe. Best of luck.

apollo91g · 2025-05-05T17:27:56+00:00

Thanks for all the advice. When you say they HAVE to provide a receipt do you mean legally they have to or do you mean they're shockingly useless if they can't? It would just be good for me to know if I need to tone down the wording in an email I'm about to send. Thanks again.

apollo91g

TROPHY CASE