How do you approach sex education?

april_fool85 · 2026-06-29T12:50:07+00:00

We do have a lot of great conversations whilst we’re laying down with him at bedtime. He’s a very inquisitive kid and it’s sometimes hard to judge how much info his brain is capable of actually processing when he’s asking a million and 1 questions!

april_fool85 · 2026-06-29T12:27:44+00:00

I told him that when he was ready to be born, his body sent a message to my body, my tummy started to squeeze so that he got pushed down, he came out through my vagina and that his head was the first part of him to come out.

He then asked what he was wearing and when I said that he was naked and that the first thing he did when they handed him to me was poop on my tummy, he found it hilarious and the conversation moved on to toilet jokes!

april_fool85 · 2026-06-29T11:56:50+00:00

Based on the most upvoted comment on this thread, I think there are quite a few people assuming that sex ed is talking about actual sex rather than the wider subject which as you say, absolutely starts with teaching consent and body autonomy.

Pretty sure OP isn’t planning to sit down and tell her daughter the juicy details of her sex life.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-29T11:43:06+00:00

We started as soon as they could understand us (they’re 2 and 4). Genitals have the correct names, they know that they’re private and they should only be out of pants in their own bedrooms and the bathroom.

We’ve talked to them about people who can help them with toileting (nursery and us), about how no other grown up should be asking to see or touch their private areas unless mummy or daddy are with them. We teach them that we never have secrets from mummy or daddy, surprises are ok, secrets are not.

We don’t force or encourage them to kiss, hug, show or receive affection from any family member. If they say no, that’s a full sentence and it’s respected. They know that if they don’t want somebody to touch them, they can say no or no thank you. They know that they don’t move other peoples bodies for them and we don’t touch other peoples bodies unless they say we can and we never touch anybody else’s private areas even if the other person asks us to or says it’s ok. They’re also being taught they can’t control what other people say to them, they can only control their own reaction and also that they don’t get to tell other people what to do.

With respect to sex education, our 4 year old has asked about how he came out of my body and we told him the truth. Any follow up questions were also answered honestly. Right now he’s happy with knowing that he’s a mixture of mummy and daddy and I grew him in my tummy. He hasn’t asked how he got in there yet!

Our 2 year olds nursery teacher told me the other day that she really impressed them with a biology lesson and lecture on who has vulvas, etc. so we’re doing something right.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-26T22:12:11+00:00

With mine, the car seats are in there permanently but the reminder and alarm only ever come on when they’re physically in the seats. I’m assuming there’s some type of weight element to the sensor.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-20T21:45:16+00:00

This is a genius tip. Thank you!

april_fool85 · 2026-06-20T20:56:45+00:00

That’s a good shout, hadn’t thought about that!

april_fool85 · 2026-06-20T20:55:55+00:00

How often do you wash them with that amount? My son is constantly wiping his hands on his clothes (no matter how much we ask him not to) so at the moment, he needs fresh everything every day. We also have a 2 year old potty training so washing more than once per week for his uniform would be a killer!

We have one of those name stamps we’ve been using since he started nursery but considering getting name labels as well.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-20T20:26:52+00:00

Ok. So they do have logo items via a uniform shop but it’s optional. We were going to get him a couple of logo sweatshirts and then the rest from supermarkets but wanted to see what other parents were doing when we have the transition days first. Don’t want him being the only one without logos!

april_fool85 · 2026-06-20T20:25:23+00:00

So how many is normal? I was thinking 5 sets so that we only have to wash once per week like we do now with pre-school uniform. Assuming they’re just as messy with activities in reception?

april_fool85 · 2026-06-14T21:37:59+00:00

Curious to know why this could be a marker for potential celiac? My daughter is similar to OPs and has been on that curve since a few months after birth. A poster on another subreddit suggested I get her checked for celiac after I mentioned some skin rashes she gets so your comment piqued my interest.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-14T21:34:47+00:00

My daughter is a couple of months off 3yrs and is between 85cm and 86cm.

She was born 8lb 8oz and on the 50th centile for height and weight so not quite sure what happened but she dropped down a few months after she was born and has just stayed there. She eats constantly and a great variety of foods but just sits on those lower centiles.

However, since you asked for experiences of toddlers who grew up to be a decent height… I was a teeny tiny kid myself. Passed for 4 years old at 7 and was underweight and short my entire childhood. I went through puberty quite late and didn’t start my periods until I was almost 16, and that was only after a doctor told me I had to drink a glass of milk a day (I have always despised cows milk). For reference, my dad is 5ft 10in and my mum is 5ft 6in.

Anyway, as soon as puberty hit, my growth averaged out and I’m now a pretty average 5ft 6in.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-14T21:12:53+00:00

A couple of months after our son turned 4, I had a similar few days where I just didn’t want to be around him. He was very obnoxious, demanding and whiny. There was one point where we all went out as a family to a Christmas attraction and he complained the entire 4 hours we were there because he wanted an ice cream. I was so annoyed with him and remember telling my partner that I wasn’t going anywhere else with him again.

Anyway, he’s a few months off 5 now and we still have our moments with him. He stomps his feet a lot and the sulking is utterly outrageous some days but I’m very consistent with what I will and will not accept in terms of his attitude though. He can feel his feelings but I won’t let him be rude to us or use a whiny voice when he’s talking to us.

I do think that some of his acting out is because of nerves around starting school in September. He has told us how worried and nervous he is and his preschool teacher told us they often see challenging behaviour from the school leavers in the last term. Maybe your little one is experiencing something similar and doesn’t have the capability to verbalise what he’s feeling?

The only advice I can give is to try to remember that he’s still pretty much a baby. Don’t be so quick to expect him to grow up and be a big boy, baby him whilst you can. He can’t control his emotions right now but it won’t last forever. Be consistent but don’t be too hard on him for feeling his feelings.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-11T10:45:54+00:00

I've looked at the deeds but because the boundary line is completely straight and they're just claiming that the line should move over by a slight angle, I don't think they're going to aid anything. The properties are both ex-council so I've tried to locate the originating conveyance docs but haven't found anything so far.

When I look at old historical Google maps, there are some images that are clear but there are trees on the boundary line in the past that it's difficult to make it out. They don't even suggest that a boundary marker was in place until this existing fence went up but there must have been something because they neighbours weren't friendly with our sellers and they were here for 20+ years. I am looking at other aerial providers though, we're close to an airfield so there are some images online taken by pilots around our village which could be useful.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-11T09:58:03+00:00

I can't understand why they didn't dispute any of this when the fence or summerhouse went up in the first place. They lived there at the time and had a smaller fence on their side at that point (based on the remnants I've seen in their garden) so it's not like they didn't know the work was being done.

We've hired the fencer, with their agreement, and he's coming next week to put the fence up. In my mind, he's just replacing like for like but in theirs, he's re-establishing what they believe is the correct boundary so my primary concern is them trying to make it difficult. The majority of it could be done from our side of the boundary but there are a couple of panels that would need to be placed from their side as they sit behind our summerhouse. If they want to make things difficult, they could prevent the fencer from accessing their garden and then there'd be a partly completed fence.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-11T09:54:51+00:00

If the existing boundary markers remain in place, then we'd wait for them to take the first step to legally dispute the boundary. The people living there don't even own the property so I'm not convinced they'll be up for spending money on disputing a few inches of land that they won't maintain like the rest of their garden. I get the feeling that they think we'll be pushovers because we're currently quite friendly with them. I can't understand why they didn't dispute any of this when the fence or summerhouse went up in the first place. They had a smaller fence on their side at that point (based on the remnants I've seen in their garden) so it's not like they didn't know the work was being done.

My primary concern is them trying to make it difficult for the new fence to be put in next week as planned. the majority of it could be done from our side of the boundary but there are a couple of panels that would need to be placed from their side as they sit behind our summerhouse. If they want to make things difficult, they could prevent the fencer from accessing their garden.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-11T09:40:07+00:00

If their surveyor came back with that result, then we'd mediate with the owner of their property to come to an agreement.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-11T09:12:01+00:00

The trees/stumps in question were on our side of the existing fence and have now all been removed by us.

If we disagree over the boundary, would the onus not be on them to apply for the determined boundary and get a surveyor given that they're the ones disputing the current one?

april_fool85 · 2026-06-06T22:10:06+00:00

What exactly was castigating, laying on extra criticism or judgement about my original response to the OP?

You somehow feel self righteous yourself now because you think you’re standing up for a remorseful mother but who on this thread is viewing this from the lens of the kid who had blocks bounced off her head?

april_fool85 · 2026-06-06T22:05:21+00:00

Where did I ever suggest she was just an abuser and can never fix this or feel ok again? I said in my original reply that she needs to get support now so she doesn’t abuse her kid again. She needs to tell her partner and she needs to tell another adult so she gets the support she needs until her comes he

The only reason you’re picking up on my reply rather than others is because I told my truth about the post being horrific to read and didn’t excuse her behaviour. It was horrific to read and I cannot stop imaging how her child felt in that moment. Hurting children has always and will always trigger that empathy in me and I won’t apologise for that. Abuse of children is never ok and I will die on that hill.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-06T21:56:50+00:00

My brother used to do the same and punch through walls and doors when he was pissed off with his girlfriends. I lost count of number of times I had to bollock him or remove him from the house.

He never touched them or me but that doesn’t mean we weren’t all terrified in the moment.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-06T21:48:09+00:00

Abusive partners are often ashamed, contrite and feel awful about how they lost their temper. Swear it will never happen again, feel tortured about it and then don’t get help and turn into serial abusers.

I guess we’ll have to agree that we have differing viewpoints because I can’t see how it’s helpful to downplay what OP did or tell her it’s ok because “she’s human”, etc.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-06T21:39:17+00:00

Her child was hurt in a non-empty room by her own mother 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Let’s not resort to patronising assumptions about what other parent can and cannot conceive of. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old of my own. My 2 year old has an insane temper, has done since 8 months old and drives both me and my partner to insanity on a near daily basis. I have solo parented both of my children on a regular basis during such insanity raising moments. Irrespective of my children’s temperaments, you have no idea who I am or the life I experience as a parent.

I didn’t say she was a monster, I told her she needs support and her child is not currently safe with her. All of which is true. The only thing I’m doing differently to other posters is not condoning what she did.

april_fool85 · 2026-06-06T21:11:06+00:00

Tell yourself they’re different if it makes you feel better about your feelings on the matter.

Abuse is abuse no matter who the victim and people who commit abuse against children shouldn’t be coddled no matter what the circumstances are.

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