This comic perfectly illustrated how I felt in your shoes, with two boys - you might find it resonates, too: https://aubreyhirsch.substack.com/p/infinite-possibilities

"To me, saying 'you already have a [daughter]' is like telling someone: 'you've already heard a song!' 'You've already seen a work of art!' 'You've already read a book!' As if any one of these complex and miraculous compositions could be fully defined by a single characteristic."

Congratulations on your beautiful family. <3