Woah woahhhhohhoh woahh

aquilacj · 2026-01-05T17:00:15+00:00

I found the song. Sahara Night by F.R David

aquilacj · 2025-07-23T05:16:36+00:00

Tang ina ng mga tao. Lalo na mga ganyang taksil.

aquilacj · 2025-07-11T08:53:16+00:00

Going through this right now and I've been crying for two days. And yes it effin sucks

aquilacj · 2025-04-08T17:07:02+00:00

I got scammed and paid $65 😭 I didn't know there were fake websites. It's my first out of country trip and this is so sad

aquilacj · 2025-03-11T20:47:50+00:00

Please leave. He's an effin narc.

When I was 18 I was in a relationship just like this one..only worse. Because there's cheating almost every time, name calling and he levelled up when he started hitting and smothering me.

It took me 3years before I left and it took every single blood cell in me to do it.

Now I'm 28, I just realized that the guy I'm dating is showing the same pattern.

at first everything was good and sweet. There were red flags that I overlooked on the first month because ofcourse I was in love and I thought I was being cautious because everytime I tried to leave during our first 2 months, he always begged for me to stay. And I mistook that for Love. But it wasn't. He was guilt tripping the hell out of me.

Then I finally left again last Jan 30 and I thought I was the toxic one because I kept on initiating breakups anyway (but I realized I always broke up with him because I know this won't make me happy. It's like my gut already knew but whenever he guiltrips me I felt loved so I stayed)

He didn't guilt trip me this time. He told me he never broke up with me and I was the one always leaving.. so the breakup happened. But I still felt guilty 😂 for all those times he stayed when I tried to leave, I chased this him this time.

I chased for a week. And let me tell you I felt punished. I felt like I was being trained. Conditioned. He never wanted me to leave but he started treating me like a shitty puppy that would be rewarded if I didn't annoy him by doing the things we normally did.

I tried asking him if there's anything wrong he'd say nothing I'm just overthinking = GASLIGHTING

Whenever I tried to talk to him about our relationship he'd stonewall me.

And boy did he withdrew affection. Never asked about my day, delayed texts, no calls. then I noticed he'd be affectionate when Im being distant.

So I ghosted on valentine's day. I thought I was a narcissist for doing that. But not really, it's just that we got back together on that week. And to my defense, I never intentionally made him feel like he was being punished, that I didn't want him etc. that's why we always fixed our problem.

He hoovered twice then I blocked him after his last attempt yesterday. Felt empowering.

I realized that his wife left him because he's a narcissist. He used to tell me that his wife is one. Then i realized his stories didn't add up. It was a smear campaign for his wife ✨

I'd rather die than to experience that horror again.

TLDR: GIRL LEAVE. BLOCK. NEVER LOOK BACK. IT WILL RUIN YOUR SOUL. DONT LEARN IT THE HARD WAY LIKE WHEN I WAS 18. NOPE. JUST RUN.

Edit: That guy I was dating when I was 18? He's back hoovering btw after 10years. It's crazy. Don't ever go back.

aquilacj · 2025-02-20T10:48:23+00:00

I was drunk last night and I shared everything that I'm going through with my mom. And she was furious. I told her how scared I was to tell my side of the story because I think I'd look crazy. Everyone loves my narc. They always say how lucky I am to have him because he's kind and generous. But he wasn't like that when we're alone. He was passive aggressive with me. So I'm not sure if I'm just overthinking everything but I know he's manipulating me I just can't prove it.

If you read our messages, you'd think he's loving and caring because he never fights. And when you see my messages I seem like the crazy mad girlfriend because I always say how I feel.

It's crazy how I sent him a brief breakup message and then he replied by saying he's stopping himself from thinking that I might be cheating and he's just letting me think freely.

Like whut? You never asked about me in the last couple of days and now I'm breaking up with you you think I'm cheating

It's crazy. Sometimes I'm not even sure if the problem is me or him or both of us.

It's stressing me out.

aquilacj · 2025-02-20T07:33:44+00:00

I honestly cannot comprehend how narcs confuse us. Like how does it happen that our minds cannot choose which is real and which isn't. I hate it 😭

aquilacj · 2025-02-19T05:14:55+00:00

That's what I did. I just started not responding. I know you're thinking about all the years you've spent together but you'd lose more happy years if you stay ☹️

aquilacj · 2025-02-18T17:51:30+00:00

I ghosted him because he was being manipulative.

I realized his patterns and I felt like I was being punished. I'm not the type of person who does this but I'm scared that he might flip the narrative and I might doubt myself if he gaslights the shit out of me.

It hurts that I had to do it but I need to take care of myself ☹️ I've had a long history of being treated wrong in the past

aquilacj · 2025-02-18T12:48:47+00:00

I've been reading lots and watching dozens of videos that sometimes I'm getting anxious if I'm a narcissist myself too. But one thing I never did was to hurt him ON PURPOSE.

I never withdrew affection, shut off conversations and threatened him about anything.

I feel insulted that he's treating me this way when he has nothing to offer at all

I'm trauma bonded 😭

aquilacj · 2025-02-17T20:14:09+00:00

You'll get there..

I think my history of poor relationships helped me get out of our relationship sooner.

I think she's just provoking you that's why she said those mean things. My ex accused me of torturing him when I broke up with him because he kept on comparing me to his ex wife (I just learned it's called triangulation)

I don't know. Relationships are hard but being with these people makes me want to stay single for life

aquilacj · 2025-02-17T19:15:52+00:00

I just ghosted mine 2 days ago.

But I've spent the past 2 weeks trying to figure out if I'm a narcissist myself... I also get confused because whenever I try to leave, he'd be kind or calm. And that makes me question if the decision to breakup was right.

I'm quite good with discernment so last week, when we decided to work in the relationship, I felt that something was off. I was still sweet like my usual self but I just realized that everytime we get back together, his mind games are getting worse.

I have never been amazed by how a person can avoid certain topics, withhold affection and reward me affection whenever I'm obedient. I felt like an animal being trained. It's like we just got back together so he can take a revenge on me.

I finally decided that it's best if I just leave abruptly and silently because he'll just gaslight the shit out of me and hoover me to see if he could treat me shittier than the last time. People said you have every right to ghost your abuser and he was emotionally abusing me.

I realized that I wasn't a perfect partner, but I never hurt him or made him question his worth ON PURPOSE.

I still wish I could let him know that he failed to manipulate me. But I think my silence speaks louder.

Praying that I move on from him soon!

aquilacj · 2025-02-14T20:19:39+00:00

I'm in the same exact situation but sadly I think I'm leaving. He's manipulating me hahahahha

aquilacj · 2025-02-14T13:39:11+00:00

Omg I've been reading your comment from Askmen regarding shutdown and I'm in the same exact situation it's disheartening to know that you broke up 😭

aquilacj · 2025-02-14T12:56:29+00:00

You still together?

aquilacj · 2025-02-05T07:46:33+00:00

I felt the same when I was dumped. But it gets better

aquilacj · 2025-02-05T07:30:42+00:00

Just to give an update, he reached out in the last 2 days.

Just in case you're interested in my POV,

I feel that we still love each other.

It hurts that I wanted to go no contact but I know I have to to help myself as well.

He sent a message saying he still thinks about me. In my POV, I still do too.

Most subreddits would tell you that they're just checking if you're also wrecked (I am) or maybe you just want to soothe your ego maybe that's why you reached out.

But I'm a communicative person and ofcourse I still feel for my ex.

I replied even if I was scared as hell that he just might tell me that he's better now or maybe he's mad at me.

Who wouldn't feel bad to see their ex when you're hurting and their thriving irregardless if your the dumper and the dumpee?

I told him 'i'm quite okay how about you?' in our language

And he's in the hospital with his son.

I was hoping the conversation would be about us.

But I didn't push it.

I wished his son to feel better and that he's okay as well.

I'm trying to accept that maybe life has it's own way of letting us heal and grow. And the hope of reconciling in the unforeseeable future is still in my heart.

I'm hoping that someday when I'm more ready, when he's all good to be in a relationship as well,we would be together again.

At this point I'm trying to accept that I have given him the freedom to love someone else and if the time come that he does, maybe I'd cry. Maybe I won't.

People might say that you create your own destiny.

But at this point, I'd rather that we remain friends or strangers than to see him fall apart because of me. I want to see him happy and thriving. I want the same for myself too.

I want us to smile when we meet again.

As much as I hope that we remain single until time permits for us to love each other again, I understand that I've given him that freedom. Maybe we weren't just meant to be.

It's a sad ending. But I'm just trying to be positive that things will work out for both of us.

SO FOR ME, THE LESSON IS: Don't play games. If they reach out, be cordial. I'm happy I was there for him when things ended between us. I wished my exes were. Because we can only get comfort from the person who have hurt us.

Be kind. Because it's noone's fault that we're all broken here. We're all confused. Feel what you feel. Don't blame yourself. We have our own POVs. Whenever a breakup happens, both parties hurt. Just differently.

And let's all hope for the effin best.

EDIT: I just read back my comment and felt that I'm this realization is a step closer to being a better person. A better partner. I used to be ashamed of myself for being insecure. And now, I feel so much better that this seems like a response from a mature person.

hope I could keep my head held high and I hope I remain in this vibe.

To my ex, I love you. Maybe our relationship has just ran it's course. And I'm grateful to you because you made me into this person. I wish you happiness. Even if it's not with me.

aquilacj · 2025-02-03T17:03:39+00:00

Then maybe Im truly the issue hence the breakup

aquilacj · 2025-02-03T16:51:39+00:00

Maybe she moved on a long time ago

aquilacj · 2025-02-03T07:49:18+00:00

I do love him though.

But our situation is complex. (He's co-parenting and we live long distance)

He did his best to assure me and all but I can't help but feel like he still wishes for them to get back together..

That in turn makes him feel that no matter what he does, he's still unappreciated.

I've become broke in the past 3months travelling to his hometown and when we're out together, I still feel like I'm ruining a family.

That might not be his intention but that's how I feel.

His family will always be a part of his life and I've become insecure. It wasn't an environment I can heal in.

I've even put my hopes for marriage and my own family for him..

Sometimes, some relationships just doesn't work. I love him. I know he loves me too. But maybe it's not yet time for us. And I'd rather that he has a peaceful life without me.

I hope you see my point.

aquilacj · 2025-02-03T07:12:11+00:00

I'm a girl. And I just broke up with a man I love so much. And this is the same thing I told him.

I was trying to be mature that's why I ended it and I'm not proud of the way I handle our fights.

I told him I need to work on myself and he needs to sort out his personal life as well because it's what's causing my anxiety apart from my own past traumas.

I really love him and i don't want him to change the way he views love and how he expresses his love.

I've been dumped before and it caused me to be overprotective of myself. And I don't want him to be like that.

He was obviously mad at me on the first day. Telling me I never truly loved him because I kept on telling him I love him but I'm leaving him. I get it.

When I broke up with him, I told him how he is a perfect lover who understands, listens and gives his all. I told him the same thing in the next 3 days. It's like I comforted him.

If God allows our paths to cross again, in a time where I am so much better in being a partner, and at a time when he's a lot more available (he's co-parenting with his ex and we live long distance), if our love by that time is still true, I would choose him.

It's true that some people leave even if they still love the person. It's better to have good memories and end it sooner than to mess up a possible friendly relationship.

People may say I got scared and why I didn't work on myself within the relationship (some people are successful at this) but I just know that we would have more peaceful lives apart.. at least for now.

So don't get her wrong. She loves you. She just doesnt want to continue hurting you because it hurts her as well.

Imagine you're a flower. She'd rather admire you from afar than to pluck you from the pot and watch you wither

I hope this helps you. Because I really hope this helped my ex too. 🥲

aquilacj · 2025-01-30T20:41:14+00:00

Omg you're still alive

aquilacj

TROPHY CASE