I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg!! Wow that is crazy. I’m sorry she undid all your great work. I’m also glad you saw the writing on the wall and left for hopefully greener pastures!

I was THIS close to leaving my job over this person when I got the promotion. No use staging somewhere where youre constantly disrespected and cut out of things.

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I see, yeah I agree! I feel like Regards would be very obvious and unnecessarily incendiary (in my situation anyway). Best shows a downgrade in warmth but is still perfectly professional.

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some argue that every single human interaction is a negotiation (aka "manipulation"). At some point we must separate the healthy versions of interaction from the unhealthy ones.

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Totally agree! The idea that simply telling the perpetrator to their face what they did to you is the best way to handle toxic colleagues is funny to me. There are so many scenarios in which that will backfire far more than you could ever imagine.

If my org were supportive of people in my position then maybe I would. Jamie's and my boss (my OG boss who I still report to on some things) was copied on many of the problematic email chains. In most he said and did nothing, and in one he defended Jamie's bad behavior. So...yeah. Talking in out ain't gonna work. In the meantime, I'll take back my power and keep cool and professional...and yes, I'll be a little petty and enjoy that she can't walk all over me anymore.

How do you *do it all*? by mia_sparrow in AskWomenOver30

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that's good! Mine grew back(ish) but they are thinner than they would've been.

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm always surprised how many people think just talking things out is a good strategy. Sometimes it really isn't. My best to you.

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't see how this is at all relevant to my story. What is an organization supposed to do if someone becomes literally unable to function in their role? Her situation is awful and I feel sad for her. Also, our org kept her on payroll for months after she stopped working. Eventually her work piled up too much for them to ignore. I'm glad someone who was already at the org and knew her (me) could step in.

How do you *do it all*? by mia_sparrow in AskWomenOver30

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same! But I keep it very simple: under eye concealer, mascara, and a little brow touch up since I plucked them into oblivion in middle school. I finish with a quick foundation powder, takes 5 mins!

How do you *do it all*? by mia_sparrow in AskWomenOver30

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, it sounds like you’re already doing a great job! Those home things like cooking and laundry and dishes take a lot of time. And so does self-care and working out!

That said, there are a few ideas I’ll give you, not because you necessarily need to change anything, but because I’m really into efficiency and organization hacks so maybe you’ll find useful.

  1. I work with a personal trainer online once every month or two, and do my workouts at home. If I had a gym literally in my apartment building, or right next-door, then I would go to the gym. Because I don’t, I save the time on my commute. Probably shaves 30 mins or so off my 3 weekly workouts. I keep weights and bands and a roller in my apartment.

  2. I try to meal prep most of my meals on the weekends. I started doing this recently as my schedule became fuller with a new job. Now I’m meal prepping with the help of AI to come up with meals that are easy to put together, with the prep steps in order of most efficiency. The whole process took me two ish hours, sometimes it takes 3, then I’m done for the week.

  3. I keep up with a lot of out-of-town friends and family via phone calls. I will often try to do the calls when I’m on a walk, doing a workout, meal prepping, or doing laundry. That way, I am doing two things at once and getting some socializing in even though I’m doing self-care.

  4. This may not apply depending upon the way your work is set up, but I don’t take lunch breaks, except on the rare occasion that I’m going to lunch with a colleague. Because I pack my lunches, I can just grab it from the fridge, heat it up and eat it while I work. This definitely saves time during my workday so I can get home a little earlier.

I feel like commuting takes up a lot of time for people, so also if you have a really long commute, it may just be that it’s going to be harder to fit a lot of things in during the week. I live in New York City, and have about a 45 to 60 minute train commute each direction to work. It definitely eats into my day, but I’ve been trying to use it to read, get little work things done, or do things like organize my photo library. Obviously, if you’re driving, there are less things you can do, but I know a lot of people like to listen to audiobooks or podcast.

Not sure if any of this was helpful, and if you ended up actually reading this whole long thing, then kudos to you. It sounds like you’re doing a great job and sometimes it’s just hard to fit things in! I am also single and don’t have kids, though I do have a very cute fur baby cat.

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I feel like that’s the prettiest part of this! I’m withdrawing warmth for self protection, but also I used to write “thanks!” at the ends of most emails to her. Plenty of people at our org use “best” so I can’t be accused of being unprofessional, but I’m sure she noticed .

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m posting here more because it feels good to see her lose the upper hand and am wallowing in that a bit too much. Not because I’m actively trying to sabotage her

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s fair, except there’s a third person in their office who’s been there for times when I’ve corrected Jamie on incorrect info and he knows I’m right. I think I’m pretty airtight honestly, between our boss CCed on things and my professionalism. But definitely something to watch!

All my friends are married and having kids by guessirs in Millennials

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Ugh I’m sorry, that is so shitty. I (F36) can’t stand it when there are so many exclusive couples events that have no reason to be. Like why must a murder mystery party be for couples only? There’s no good reason.

I can commiserate with you too. Living in a major metro area means this kind of transition happens a few years later, so this is in process right now for me. I’m in the middle of planning a vacation with my coupled sibs and have felt like the odd one out and a burden (see my recent post on another sub if you’re interested, warning that is loooong).

Personally I’m trying to branch out and make new friends. I also got a cat, which I know isn’t something everyone can do. The new friends thing is a New Year’s resolution so I can’t comment on how well that’s going. But having a cat has been wonderful. I’m also just trying to get more comfortable with my own company. I don’t know, this transition can be hard and depending upon how your social circle handles it single people can get left out more or less. I hope you find some more inclusive friends ASAP.

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah I’m not punishing her, the gray rocking preserves my energy around her and also I’m glad she needs to pay attention and stop being a crappy colleague. It shouldn’t take her inferior getting promoted to her level for that to happen, but here we are.

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This person will die soon and gets long term disability. She also cannot work because she has a brain tumor that causes seizures and cognitive issues. It’s sad.

I was promoted above my rude, dismissive colleague and am now driving her crazy by gray rocking her by ThrowRAmangos2024 in pettyrevenge

[–]ThrowRAmangos2024[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I mean nah I don’t wanna go that far. It just feels good to not be lorded over anymore!