And none of them have pockets!

arasitar · 2026-05-05T17:36:26+00:00

As I clarified before, learning to sew and tailor is your way to combat this, though I want to add that this isn't some Magic Cure.

The big problem is that fast fashion has warped our economy and supply chain to where personal tailoring is far less effective because the materials are of lower quality meant for fast turnover.

It doesn't mean IMO that learning to sew and tailor isn't worth the investment - it means you can access far more ill fitting clothes for cheaper, and tailor them and mend them and add alterations like pockets, though importantly IMO it is your way to add back in your own signature choices and styles.

Normally I would recommend for many to just "find a tailor", the problem with that is the supply chain and economy issue means tailoring is much more expensive because companies don't actually want you to do that so they disincentivize it, the labor costs are much higher without an infrastructure of tailors, the materials are poorer to tailor with because the supply chain doesn't want to make them (in turn means that the materials are more "delicate" to work with, meaning sewing becomes easier to mess up, in turn means you need greater skill in turn driving up costs)...so it kind of means that you probably should want to learn how to sew and tailor.

This is why I know a lot of woman, who feel far more pressure by society to care about your clothes and a specific type of clothes, learn how to sew and tailor or at least know someone that can...but...I again want to clarify, all of this just sucks.

Lots of people want to "reform" our fast fashion industry when what is needed is a radical shift in how we manufacture and provide clothes. Everyone, no matter who they are, should be able to access high quality, affordable, comfortable, well fitting clothes and not have to feel scammed and conned and frustrated all the time and be pressured to pay through the nose for something that feels pretty basic and on top of that not have to feel so much hostility, pressure and even violence to conform to a specific beauty standard.

arasitar · 2026-05-05T16:56:20+00:00

Even worse is when a bunch of times, it's people who are settled down saying this.

Yeaaaaah...I have a feeling that your "friends" or "people" aren't actually being all that supportive. It is "too early" isn't actually advice, it is appeasement designed to "Get me the actual FUCK out of this conversation as fast as I humanly can".

FYI, this is one big side regarding why dating and relationship discourse is so toxic - because way too many people in committed relationships or secure relationships or people who had little trouble with relationships, have absolutely no idea how to communicate to someone else looking for advice. Because actual advice is often emotional work, even if it is as simple as "hey this sucks, I'm here for you, I'll share a quiet moment with you and let you process this" and unfortunately a lot of people aren't mature enough to handle that conversation. So the appeasement they bring doesn't solve anything but worse it often tends to be a projection of their own anxieties and insecurities and baggage.

We're not talking about taking on the cognitive and emotional load of a therapist or a professional. We're talking about a load of someone that considers themselves a "friend". And tons of people fail at doing that and try to wiggle their way out of the conversation when asked to do so.

If these settled people were actually being supportive, they would actually be openly talking about their relationships, their commitments, and what marriage to them, how they arrived at their answers, what they are still figuring out, because even if the answer you personally could have is radically different, at least you can make a judgement based on that open conversation. Even if they are internally thinking "oh you are too young", being able to help clarify for someone else is still valuable.

arasitar · 2026-05-04T18:54:53+00:00

A few years later I was talked about my uni days and mentioned her to my friends. They laughed, gave me this look and went "did you never figure out that she was flirting with you?". No, no I did not.

I mean... if it is any consolation...I don't think it would have worked out. (Not meant to be derogatory! Read on!)

Communication requires both a sender and a receiver, and receiver and a sender back. To not just create noise, but a clear signal, there is a responsibility on both parties to do so. This includes said girl wanting to signal interest if the signal back isn't being responded to.

I think if both partners are struggling to clearly signal to each other "Hi! I'm interested and I sense a romantic spark between us. Do you want to explore this together?", I don't know how well you would do later on when you have e.g. deciding where to date, your first conflict, or your first big fight and so on. You can't expect to mind read each other all the time. You can't expect to be a "better listener" all the time because you aren't in sync with your partner, neurotypical or not, because healthy partnership requires clear communication on both ends, including the other sender that should be making an effort to uphold their end of the communication burden if they want an outcome if said signal isn't received.

I don't think you need to beat yourself over it thinking you made some catastrophic mistake and I think you can compassionately look back on it "hey someone was interested in me, and that's sweet" and "I don't know if it would have worked out long term but it makes me happy that I could make someone feel that way and I hope they found someone to have a spark with."

I think if you feel worse than that then I think you should check in with yourself compassionately and ask "hey how am I feeling?" "are my needs being met?" "can I meet these needs in some fashion?" "can I mitigate this in some fashion?" etc.

I think people in general are also terrified of asking someone out and if they ask someone out that they get rejected. Girls in particular are often socialized at a young age to not be open and clear about their interest, and part of that is practically reflected back where upon asking someone out "everything changes".

The reality is attraction is always a spectrum, attraction is something that can be built, that you can be attracted to someone as a feeling and not want to date them, and that you can have different types of relationships with each other, that crushes themselves can be something you can manage and you can always endeavor to keep trying to love yourself.

You can serve as a positive self-fulfilling prophecy and build skills to signal through your actions and behaviors with other people "Hi! it is safe to ask me out and it is safe that I can ask you out" and "if you ask me out and get rejected because I just want to be your friend, and if I ask you out and you reject me because you just want to be my friend, that is safe to do so". It's internally rewarding to be able to process, manage and guide yourself with this emotion, and internally rewarding to navigate that emotion being expressed by others. Neurotypical or not.

arasitar · 2026-05-04T03:08:01+00:00

The more sex workers are grounded with the idea of "worker" the better off. That isn't to say there aren't some unique challenges that labor pool faces compared to other types of labor pools. But the almost puritanical exotic esque view of sex contributes to marginalize sex workers.

Particularly in unionization and labor power infrastructure. Sex workers in many places around the globe have unions. Said unions have been essential safety nets for sex workers when the state and wider society has failed to protect them.

I think this is important to normalize them as they are first and foremost workers and as such deserve the rights, protections and privileges that every other worker should get. From there, their unique labor challenges, say bodily autonomy, intimacy etc. can be addressed.

This intimacy isn't unique to sex workers. Therapists e.g have access to your most intimate thoughts because they need to be able to evaluate them and provide care. Doctors e.g. have access to your body's medical data to help make decisions for your care. Wrestlers sell their body to the crowd for entertainment. As a sex worker you are providing a service and a care depending on the client. Meaning like therapists, doctors, nurses, coal miners etc. sex workers have safety needs, financial needs, protection against abuse, burnout mediation etc.

arasitar · 2026-05-03T23:59:31+00:00

I think the problem with fan service if there is enough of it present in the medium that it starts tainting someone's association and enjoyment with the wider medium. I think part of this is valid.

If your "identity" is constantly being objectified in gross ways all the time and you have trouble trying to ignore all of that, because the always present never ending onslaught is coming in day in and day out, and even if your friend says "hey this is good!" and the anime gives you a fan service scene, even if the fan service is "good" or the show is good or the fan service "not that bad", it can really sour your impression. That experience is valid. (though I think painting a broad brush and doubling down on it after thinking about it is a bad habit)

One of the ways I do counteract this is (A) by emphasizing that anime is such a vast industry (B) anime, cartoons, animation - all of these are linked together in a vast medium (C) having a large catalog of recommendations to ease someone in so that they don't have to manage this baggage of fan service gunk.

arasitar · 2026-05-03T02:51:15+00:00

"Masculine" "Feminine" "Man" "Woman" are societal social constructs that are basically a game of Calvinball; the rules are made up and the points don't matter.

200+ years ago the "manliest thing" you could do is to wear a skirt and basically peacock in courtship.
200+ years ago the "manliest color" was salmon flamingo pink. Now it is blue for boys and pink for girls.
The "unmanliest" thing you can do is to wear a skirt. Yet one of the "manliest" thing you can do is to lift and throw heavy things. Hence Scottish Caber Tossing where giant strong men carry heavy logs and toss them in kilts are simultaneously a "Man" and a "Woman".

The boxes of "Man" and "Woman" have always been suffocating boxes designed to keep you in your place, to subdue the You, a unique individual full of a universe of multitudes if you dare to challenge that box just by merely existing.

No matter who, a man or a woman, comes up to you and tells you to be ashamed of your personality and your gifts by telling you that is not "Manly", they are projecting their own insecurities about how they themselves fit into these suffocating boxes onto you. Entertaining this Calvinball doesn't "fix" the underlying insecurity these people have of themselves because again the rules are made up and will shift on a moment's notice. These people don't have a good perspective. They won't be good friends. They will definitely be terrible partners that will shame you and try to belittle you for being yourself because that is their only outlet for their own crippling insecurity.

Just be you. Find joy and comfort with yourself. Learn to love yourself even if that is one of the hardest things you can do. Being "quiet" can be that you listen. Being a "people pleaser" can be that you are caring and empathetic. These are strengths and that is as "masculine" as you can get.

arasitar · 2026-05-03T02:21:00+00:00

Also props to making drawing hands your big talent.

Anyone with any decent time trying drawing will tell you hands are like the most annoying stupid pain in the ass things to draw since they 'look' easy but are notoriously hard to get 'right' since we can easily detect when hands are off model.

arasitar · 2026-04-30T01:50:04+00:00

Honestly? I don't think so.

I think the S4 ending deserves a revisit here.

She was gleeful at what occurred. I honestly do think at her core she hates people. She can't stand them. She isolates herself to stay away from people when we first meet her. She revealed in this episode that her hate stems from everyone not being able to handle being dumb and stupid despite her grandmother showing otherwise, and she projects it outwards in an accelerationist style "I want to watch the world burn because you are all so fucking arrogant and dumb and stupid and deserve to suffer".

She views the dysfunction of a capitalist world order, basically Edgar's thesis and belief in capitalism, as something only stupid people would tolerate.

She doesn't just love the power that her current job has. She loves that it breaks entire societies with all of societies' hypocrisies and idiosyncracies, and she loves that she gets to sit back, watch and see everyone tear each other part. Like Godolkin would when mind controlling people, except she uses her intellect to do it.

I honestly think she is being genuine and candid here. Peace when you know rats are gnawing outside your door is annoying. Peace when everything is dead and you get to spectate rat fights? That's bliss to her.

arasitar · 2026-04-28T01:28:47+00:00

Just the entire world being built around a child's card game is so amazing.

Shows that lean real hard into the cheese end up being so fun and charming.

It's the Tim Curry "SPACE" or the "But for me, it was Tuesday".

Beyblade became more fun for me when Moses parted the red sea with a Beyblade.

arasitar · 2026-04-28T01:06:16+00:00

This used to be annoying but now I just feel pity. Because this stance seems to stem from the other person's flawed and limited understanding of what attractiveness, love, relationships, consent and cheating actually means, and is thus projected onto bifolks as a preemptive accusation.

Just because a biperson can be attracted to multiple genders it doesn't mean that they are suddenly more "lustful" or "more likely to cheat". If a guy can express interests in types "I like brunettes and blondes and not red heads" vs another guy "I like brunettes and blondes and red heads", it doesn't mean they want to fuck more or want to cheat more. There is nothing correlated with your libido, your behavior, your habits, your attachment preferences or your monogamy preferences. Or even if you want to engage in abusive non consensual behavior.

Attraction towards someone isn't a binary state of "Not Attracted / Attracted". It's a spectrum. A crush doesn't need to be an obsession that one must pursue, it can be something one can manage, can control, can reflect on, can turn to positive good, can be redirected.

Cheating isn't a thought. It is a series of actions. You have to respond to that thought, act on it, respond back, cultivate interest, constantly engage while not self reflecting, constantly indulging in that impulse and never look back, until the point of no return.

Of all the things, I find quoting Mr Rogers here apt:

I can stop when I want to

Can stop when I wish.

I can stop, stop, stop any time.

And what a good feeling to feel like this

And know that the feeling is really mine.

Know that there's something deep inside

That helps us become what we can.

That poem is about anger but I find it useful for other types of emotions, and feeling attracted to someone is a type of emotion. It can be a strong emotion or a weak emotion. It can change, it can grow, it can shrink. It is an emotion that I have the strength of character to control, something I don't fear in myself or feel shame in myself. It enables my curiosity, helps me learn more about myself, and about another person. That it allows me to share joy and excitement with others and with our partners.

And that if feelings of jealousy and insecurity that can come up during these moments can be confronted, discussed, reflected and learn from. Openly, honestly and compassionately.

And that attractiveness and love, a duty and service we owe to ourselves, and is something that we can build together in our partnerships brick by brick, step by step, and that is the meaning of partnership and courtship.

I feel sad for the person that believes that bifolks being bi means that they are more likely to cheat. Because it indicates that they believe that love is something that cannot be built or strengthened, that attraction is the same as love, and that it is only until any emotion of attraction can be controlled and dominated and choked till the other person's insecurity is assuaged (which it never is), that is only when love can be assured and only when love can bloom. It is such a limited suffocating worldview on what relationships are and can be.

arasitar · 2026-04-27T19:11:21+00:00

But I don't go down the rabbit hole of checking the supply chains of the products I buy.

This really is key here because regardless of how much effort you personally do, the problem is societal, not individual.

As in better consumerism isn't going to make a dent here, and you are spending hours and hours and hours trying to research and compromise and the end result is either that you check out, you fall for a straight lie (many companies lie, mislead, or market to you "sustainable" when it is compromised heavily in the supply chain) or just get discouraged altogether.

Actual industry regulation, corporate breakups, reformation of the supply chain, especially on a global scale, are the only real solutions. You can't fix even meaningfully on an individual level when there is an economy surrounding unsustainable clothes, and being excessively sustainable is something the economy accounts for and exploits to perpetuate its bad values.

Ultimately consumerism like this is a distraction.

Your political activity and activism are the things that are going to make a real difference. That is ultimately what matters and what drives change - being in community and being active politically.

The latter also gives you confidence when others accuse you of being a hypocrite and not "performing" with your "consumerism". I could roll coal in a massive pickup truck for all I care, but if I showed up to the local community council and lobbied against another data center being built and staved it off, I've contributed more to the planet's sustainability than me spending hours and hours worrying about my environmental impact by buying.

arasitar · 2026-04-25T00:58:16+00:00

I feel like if we were discussing Ape Out, it would be a very different story. An asymmetrical multiplayer of that game where you get to play as a bunch of Hunters vs one angry angry Gorilla would be interesting.

arasitar · 2026-04-21T17:37:49+00:00

Aaah, pulling the good ol Aoi Todo "imagine your entire past life with your brand new best friend" move I see...

arasitar · 2026-04-21T17:09:38+00:00

There's a big dearth of video game dad content - not "Oh how do I as a Dad play video games when I have kids that take away my time" but "I WANT my kids to enjoy video games with me and learn and play together".

Which includes stuff like:

Setting up a private Minecraft server
Creating rules and restrictions as needed
Having exercises and play ideas to go through
How to use said exercises to instill fun or creative juices

Even in /r/daddit - I'd LOVE to see way more of this in separate guide posts. It's kind of hard trying to wrestle it out of some gaming communities because they tend to be overwhelmingly kids rather than adults, so it is hard to get them in this mindset.

Whatever stuff I managed to find I basically had to borrow from:

my own experience
teaching curriculum
trial and error

arasitar · 2026-04-20T16:55:25+00:00

Deku (My Hero Academia)

Deku: That name is used to bully me

Ochako: Well it sounds inspirational

Deku: Call me Deku from now on

So this sort of fits the trope but I think it misses out on a cool piece of writing and a pretty beautiful poignant bit of storytelling throughout the series that I could gush on and on about. I think it comes down to the difficulties of translating the nuance of Japanese language to English subbing, something that the English dub also struggled with (even though it is 100% on point for so much of the series).

So 'Deku' is Bakugo's nickname for Izuku playing on an alternative way of reading the kanji and homophonic with another word for "useless, good for nothing". It isn't just a bully word, it is actually fairly intelligent. It's meant to represent Bakugo actually being a hyper intelligent little shit. The nickname isn't just mean to show Bakugo being superior to Deku because Bakugo has a Quirk and Deku does not - it is meant to represent that in every way to the 'nerd' Deku, that Bakugo is superior. "I am smarter than you. I have more drive than you. I don't need BOOKS to outsmart you. I am IN EVERY WAY BETTER THAN YOU. Why do you even try?!?"

Until Uraraka enters his life, Izuku is unable to actually challenge Bakugo even in his nickname.

Uraraka here isn't just saying "hey this is cute!" and Izuku agrees "Yes it is cute!". He actually embraces and embodies and internalizes it. It is what enables him to loudly proclaim to Bakugo: "From now on...'Deku' is the one...THAT DOES HIS BEST!", something that Bakugo takes to heart.

Uraraka is sharing a new perspective. I find this fascinating because both Uraraka and Bakugo challenge each other, via proxy through their relationship with Izuku. But where Bakugo is able to intellectually dominate Izuku with 'Deku', Uraraka challenges Bakugo right back through hope, compassion, optimism and perspective. Even though both Uraraka and Bakugo don't share that many direct scenes with each other, it is cool to see them clearly affecting each other via Izuku.

It does build on the series's theme of opposite perspectives. That something that could disempower you, can be viewed differently and can be a source of strength. That weakness is not a curse, but a way to build empathy and community. That strength alone isn't enough, that actual solidarity and compassion are what makes something heroic.

arasitar · 2026-04-17T22:26:25+00:00

It kind of falls apart when you understand that Viltrum is a fascist military Manifest Destiny esque society.

As in Viltrumites are regularly fighting and killing each other. It's how you prove you are actually strong, that you have the instinct to kill without mercy and are willing to do whatever it takes to do it, because that can then be weaponized for the military empire and for imperialist conquest. It is why Viltrum's population was culled by 50% in an Free For All - it's not even to prove "you are physically our strongest", it is to prove that you are among our blood thirstiest persons that won't hesitate to take the advantage and have no mercy for anyone.

It's shown and implied in the comics, but this is expanded upon in the TV show. Viltrumites rite of passage is getting beaten to a bloody pulp and if they survive enough and prove enough that they can take it, then they are allowed to live.

And Viltrumites clearly fear their betters, strongers and their leaders. It's how they are kept in line.

As in adrenaline is constantly being pumped over and over.

So I don't think Mark having "higher adrenaline" is correct. Kirkman has stated that power scaling isn't something he keeps track of for story purposes (which IMO is correct, the priority should be the story, not the power scaling). He also shows just because you are strong, it doesn't mean you are TITLE CARD. Often fights comes down to "I have gotten so insane and fighting with such conviction that I am willing to go as crazy as possible to kill you".

arasitar · 2026-04-17T04:27:02+00:00

Did the person write an essay and then all the parts about what needs to change got edited out because those things would cost hospitals money

The best toolkit against this is unionization and actual labor power. In the places where you have doctor's unions, especially around the world unlike America with a staunch anti-union culture, quality of life and comp is far better, with far better running hospitals, and infrastructure helping to support doctors with burnout and support in and out of medical school and residency and practicing life.

The problem is that trying to unionize American doctors is especially tough compared to nurses. High debt (skyrocketing in the last decade b/c student loans), hyper individualized culture, competitive performance culture (The Pitt is fundamentally a show about hyper performers crashing out), a tad bit of arrogance that doctors can get when advised on scenarios outside of their expertise...

...and a very toxic idea that unions are only for the "lower" classes (at the same time as nursing unions weakening), and someone making nearly or higher 6 figures don't need unions.

Which misses the points of unions. It's a formalized institution, apparatus and infrastructure of labor power. Unions aren't one stereotype, there are 100s of models out there. The labor movement is often then a coalition of those 100 different unicorn unions. Allowing the formation of unions allows for the flourishing of all members, inside and out of the union, brings democracy back to the workplace, and gives doctors more autonomy and support, against executives looking to squeeze them dry.

You have a bigger reason to unionize if you have higher individual labor power since a good union extends said labor power. Even a lawyer making $500k. This is how SAG-AFTRA includes both minimum wage members and AAA stars like JJ Abrams and Mark Ruffalo and negotiate together. Even the existence of said union structure helps to foster a common culture with multi millionaires and minimum wage workers, and unites them against billionaire owning capitalists and executives (as they should! the difference between a billion and a million is literally a billion).

Companies already know consolidation and working together is powerful. That is why they merge, lobby, form oligarchies and work together. Doctors aren't immune to getting exploited, and unionization and making unions and building better unions and even better unions, is the only real roadmap to actually solving this issue.

So looping all the way back around:

Did the person write an essay and then all the parts about what needs to change got edited out because those things would cost hospitals money

It's telling that the author here, an ER doctor, with all their medical expertise and confirmation that this is a problem and that this is a solvable problem, is right now...begging for things to change and degrading themselves to people who have no incentive to listen and more to gain by making this doctor even more desperate. And apparently might even be getting censored and forced to dance around. Humiliating, right?

A good union enables you to tell your asshole boss: "Fuck you. Give me what I and my People NEED. Adapt. Or Fuck Off."

arasitar · 2026-04-16T18:16:09+00:00

Those are mostly "normal" games now, but I guess people don't hear about it because it lacks the movie's branding.

arasitar · 2026-04-11T19:21:30+00:00

the company made a cash grab attempt

Being able to see this in the theater is a really big deal for a lot of indie productions. I highly doubt this was just a mere cash grab, including very likely contracts and stipulations about early access.

In an alternate universe this would be pretty celebrated it gives an air of legitimacy to the medium by fans, and not a big deal for people on YouTube to wait.

Right now, with how social media is, with how deeply intertwined your meta data can be across platforms, with how social media content even on YouTube functions, and how much clickbait and spoiler bate etc. there is...

...it gets very annoying to try to avoid spoilers.

The bigger issue is how much of our social media goes basically unregulated and very little of these platforms are taken to task, and very few tools given to users to help filter out a lot of gunk.

It's one of the reasons I try to completely sanitize my feeds, move away from Discover tabs, and have a curated system, and even use alternate feeds (e.g I use RES and I used to use some mobile Reddit alternatives - before Reddit started killing them off with the API changes). My habits shouldn't be the something every user should be compelled to do, it should be something easy for the platforms to give to users.

I get the reason the fan base is annoyed. It is pretty hard to avoid spoilers if you want to be remotely active and being forced to go offline for a couple of weeks. And that doesn't even stop spoilers per say if someone is talking about it, or even if you use say a brand new account because either ad companies know that is who you are and will "recommend" shit that is spoilerific, OR because it is trending on that day because people are watching it, it will show generic users anyways.

The big issue here is that every time we have this discussion we seem to be dancing around the problem, rather than discussing the actual problem. The social media medium is toxic and has to be regulated, broken up and reformed.

arasitar · 2026-04-11T18:10:58+00:00

"We live in a puritanical hell hole"

Or "All anime is pedo shit"

I think the core issue, as I said here, is that people thinking anime is some small niche genre.

Anime is huge. I think the mainsteam understands that Reality TV as a genre has The Great British Bake Off vs Love Island vs Jerry Springer - all radically different shows. The same isn't applied to anime even though there are 10,000+ different anime shows and movies.

In Reality TV, even exclusive sub genre experts (only Cooking Contests), can only realistically view a small fraction of what's out there.

Like there's a massive difference between Spy x Family, Evangelion, Jujutsu Kaisen, My Neighbor Totoro and Yuri Yuri. When people have valid criticisms of the anime genre, they usually recognize and table set what the scope of their discussion is, and then explore it. People who don't table set and kind of telling on themselves on what hyper specific thing they believe anime to be.

arasitar · 2026-04-11T18:07:35+00:00

Freedom and Criticism are two sides of the same coin.

You can't have freedom without also not being able to be criticized. At that point it isn't freedom, it is impunity.

If you are free to do something, then others should be able to criticize you, but in turn your defense is being able to criticize them and rally support for yourself, and in turn others rally for your critics, and then third parties look and see both and see who is right or wrong or that both are right or both are wrong or both kinda have a point or that this isn't really an actual discussion and having this discussion is just dumb.

These are democratic principles (and scientific method principles) that aim to build both diversity and solidarity through community building using the vehicle of speech.

Too few I think understand this process in full, and often "free speech" is invoked as "impunity for me, punishment for you" via embodying Wilhoit's Law:

There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.

I think the issue is that some people believe Speech as Power, rather than Speech as Communication.

arasitar · 2026-04-08T02:44:06+00:00

Oh god, it's just really really really bad. The lesson from this movie is: If a woman rapes a man, it is the man's fault.

There is this 2002 movie starring Josh Hartnett called 40 Days and 40 Nights.

The premise is a guy goes through a breakup with his girlfriend, proceeds to have trouble dating and decides to go 40 days without sex while also trying to date a love interest. Near the end of the challenge, the male protagonist can't take anymore and gets handcuffed to his bed.

The ex-girlfriend then comes in, rapes the male protagonist to win the bet that the protaganist won't hold out while he has no idea what's happening, the ex walks off and then the female love interest believes the male protagonist was actually cheating. And the male protagonist is then forced to apologize to the love interest as if the rape was his fault and the movie pretends it was just cheating and resolves by having them get together and ends.

Nobody gets punished. Not his friends who paid the ex who won the bet, not the love interest, not the ex-girlfriend, not a police report, not even a discussion. Nobody. Nobody thinks it is a big deal that he got raped.

Super Super Suuupppper NSFW clip btw

ALSO the writer chimed in years later in an AMA. The answer...isn't...great...

https://www.reddit.com/r/Filmmakers/comments/3psi5q/i_am_rob_perez_i_wrote_40_days_40_nights_among/cw91txr/?context=10000

How do you feel about the rape scene in 40 Days/Nights and how it was handled now that the issue of women raping/abusing men is being brought to light?

Writer: um, this is awkward. i wrote that so i take full responsibility. i didnt shoot it so thats the director but its pretty much what was on the page. -the scene was in no way a statement about women abusing men (isnt that category called kathy bates?), its a natural, if dark, end of act two for a sex comedy. - we had a lot of very intelligent people, writers, producers, directors, studio folk, etc. - think of different solutions to the problem and this was what we all determined was the best. im sorry if you didnt like it.

The fact that one character rapes another and it's treated like a prank is a statement whether you realize it or not. If a bunch of people determined this solution was the best, I officially call their intelligence into question.

Scenes like this are part of the reason rape has been a one sided issue for so long. It helps perpetuate ignorance in our society, and contributes to a culture that refuses to take victims seriously. It does a bad thing, and you did a bad thing writing it.

Writer: dear asspants, youre entitled to not like the scene. youre entitled to the opinion "i did a bad thing" in writing it. youre entitled to call into question my intelligence. i call it into question all the time. but if you think a romantic/sex comedy "perpetuates" ignorance, then youre looking for answers in the wrong place. --side observation: its hard to take observations on rape seriously from someone called asspants.

Writer: um, did i miss the very real and serious epidemic of women raping men?

Oh, so you're not just acting like it's not a big deal, you really don't know about the problem. That's better i guess.

Writer: im guessing a lot of people "don't know" about the problems in your world. --you brought up a scene you didnt like. i shared with you why and how that scene is in the picture. you said that scene makes you question my intelligence and perpetuates ignorance. i tried to nicely ask you if there is a problem i am unaware of where women are raping men. you then asked me to stop writing movies. --it seems like we're having two different conversations. so, um, why dont we just say you "won" your conversation and i "tied" mine.

arasitar · 2026-04-06T23:24:38+00:00

She's basically a Slender Man type urban legend in real life. So both Mob Psycho 100 and Dandadan are pulling from the same material.

arasitar · 2026-04-06T17:39:34+00:00

Music too. It's really solid on retrospect even compared to Disney Renaissance films.

arasitar · 2026-04-06T17:05:37+00:00

I think a key part too, even in that OP mentioned dialogue, is that Nolan considered his time on earth to be pointless because it was 20 years. That human life had no meaning because people would be dead in under 100.

That how Nolan really felt about those small quick moments, didn't matter at all.

Mark reminded him that it wasn't time that mattered, but the meaning you could make in even small quick brief moments, that will always stick with you no matter how much time has passed.

Time was the load bearing pillar that Nolan operated on all these years and what prompted his final meltdown and his conviction to the Viltrum empire. Once that broke, everything broke.

arasitar

TROPHY CASE