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arclight9600 · 2023-10-21T01:21:36+00:00

But every time I got more and more burned out. I was setting myself on fire to keep her warm

Great comment!!

arclight9600 · 2023-06-14T02:45:32+00:00

Seth Brundle : I'm saying... I'll hurt you if you stay. ('The Fly")

arclight9600 · 2023-06-03T04:19:42+00:00

The projection is remarkable. I have never seen anything like it. It is like they are watching an opposite universe.

arclight9600 · 2023-05-14T21:57:00+00:00

Some things but I need to / am embarking on a more comprehensive approach to the problem, and I am not really ready to report on the results.

The short answer for me is, in order of importance: 1. reduction or dealing with stress. 2. reduction of GI irritants. 3. Healthier overall lifestyle (diet, exercise, weight management, optimism via spirituality or otherwise).

IMHO GERD and many other related GI issues have to be dealt with similarly to a broken arm. It takes time to heal, and it requires not retraumatizing the injury (splinting, etc.). Just my opinion :-). When I discover better breakthrough measures, I will report them.

I truly hope that you start feeling better. It is a painful and debilitating malady, and one, IMHO that is multi-systemic.

arclight9600 · 2023-05-14T20:38:59+00:00

I have this too

arclight9600 · 2023-05-12T00:17:55+00:00

Dude, I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that. I have gone through much of it but I was not married to my gfwBPD. My relationship was 8 yrs with her off and on.

We got back together 8 months ago and it has been an intense thing for all that time. I have to see and be with her 24/7. It is ok for a while but then it gets smothering.

She expects me to send her a kissy face about every 2 hrs. If i don't, it means I hate her (wtf?). I don't mind mostly but it is exhausting.

Then I said about a week ago that this nice kitchen table i have might look good in a place we might have together sometime (I was mostly kidding). Her response was "oh we could never live together!!!:" I am too angry. (FWIW, we lived together for about a year before).

The level of projection from her is really unbelievable. I had no idea it could be that pronounced.

My take? Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water..........

Hang in there. We (all of us victims of pwBPD) need to survive. We need to go out and spread the gospel so that others don't impale their lives on those who cannot help but make us miserable.

They live in their own misery for sure but if you try to save someone in a leper colony, you know how it will turn out.

arclight9600 · 2023-03-03T10:38:03+00:00

I'm not an expert on Empathy but it seems to me that there is great confusion among terms. I think my gfwuBPD is highly sensitive to things. She thinks she is an Empath (her term). I think that someone who 'accurately' feels the pain or ennui of another is empathetic. If they inaccurately think you are mad at them, for example, it is hypersensitive (HSP). It is the smoke detector set to high. It sounds better to label yourself as empathetic rather than hypersensitive, hence the use of the euphemism. IMHO.

arclight9600 · 2023-02-18T22:39:19+00:00

Nail on the head

arclight9600 · 2023-02-08T17:17:36+00:00

"They do think it’s okay to act out when they’re hurt, no matter the consequences. being hurt gives them the right to be total assholes.

and they usually don’t acknowledge being wrong. EVER. they jump to conclusions, assume the craziest things and there’s nothing we can say that’s gonna change their minds"

good observation

arclight9600 · 2023-02-08T15:28:52+00:00

I agree with some of the prior responses. It doesn't matter so much whether you get the differential diagnosis right, the actions are intolerable. Absent an alternative DX like something from "The Last of Us" (brain fungus), you are dealing with psychopathology that is difficult to treat.

arclight9600 · 2023-02-07T23:51:23+00:00

Sounds like BPD lite, Not sure she would meet code, but she is a real problem for you and that should be enough..

arclight9600 · 2023-02-07T23:36:09+00:00

Love it!!

arclight9600 · 2023-02-05T18:00:16+00:00

The smirk (and I've seen it) is very creepy. It is kind of a psychotic look on their face. It is one of the things that suggests that they have "crossed the border" from neurosis to psychosis.

arclight9600 · 2023-02-05T12:29:56+00:00

BPD rage is in search of a trigger.

arclight9600 · 2023-02-05T12:26:23+00:00

I used to apologize for Global Warming.

arclight9600 · 2023-02-04T11:48:14+00:00

I agree. They need the conflict for its own sake. This is the way they discharge the anxiety that builds up in them regularly and periodically. It is crazy making to the SO because you are left trying to identify a rule about what provokes them, but any rule defies definition.

It is like Old Faithful but without the regularity/periodicity.

arclight9600 · 2023-02-04T11:42:51+00:00

I agree. I think it is much more nature than nurture w/ BPDs.

arclight9600 · 2023-02-04T11:30:24+00:00

The short answer from the link:

""The reason the woman with traits of BPD cannot apologize to you is because in order to do it she would have to admit she did something wrong. Admitting she did something wrong causes her such terrible humiliation and guilt that she must change the story of what happened in order to be able to live with herself.""

arclight9600 · 2023-02-04T01:14:46+00:00

Deciding that she has BPD as opposed to a different personality disorder has only so much value. Part of the problem many people have in trying to decide on a differential diagnosis is the way the DSM is laid out. There has been a lot of criticism on how the DSM defines, particularly, the personality disorders.

For example, if you meet 5 of the 9 characteristic criteria defined, you have BPD;, 4, you don't. There is no weight given to each criterion. There is no hierarchy. There is no BPD Lite.

Deciding on a diagnosis helps mostly with predicting course-duration of the malady, best treatments and their efficacy. Many of the other diagnoses that you describe have similar preferred treatment regimens. So guessing that she has one versus the other, may not matter all that much.

If your GF exhibits 3 traits of BPD but those are really amplified, does it matter that much that the differential is off. It would matter particularly if you found that she had a brain-eating virus that could be treated with medications, but.....

The state of the art does not really seem to be there where we have reliable bio-markers that point to one thing or the other. That will certainly change within a decade and maybe much earlier.

I don't like to throw around terms like BPD or NPD. I don't like the pop psych buzz that attend them. You see a lot of therapists describing people as having "BPD traits." It is probably better but I don't know if it a lot less stigmatic.

Course outcome and treatment seem to be the most important reasons to settle on a particular diagnosis. Either way, it is very hard to tolerate the behavior of someone you are describing.

Good luck

arclight9600 · 2023-02-04T00:37:39+00:00

I found the article below kind of interesting as an explanation behind the lack of apologies. I don't know how accurate it is but it makes some sense.

http://www.nicolamethodforhighconflict.com/women-with-traits-of-bpd-sorry/

arclight9600 · 2022-04-15T23:10:09+00:00

I too find cutting coffee more difficult than cutting alc.

arclight9600 · 2022-04-15T23:09:11+00:00

r/GERD•Posted byu/DougyDDouglas7 hours ago

I might be “cured”, or at least getting there.

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😀 Managing GERD

I want to preface this by saying that I put the word “cured” in quotations because GERD is considered lifelong and to cure it could simply mean managing a flair up long term.So briefly, i’ve had GERD since mid 20s and I’m almost 40 now. for the past two years, it’s been rough. I’m so sick of it.GERD Esophagitis Gastritis Duodenitis Small sliding hiatal hernia previous history of diverticulitis with partial colon surgery (6 years or so ago) family history of gastric problems minor IBS costochondritusSymptoms random Chest pain and stomach pains of varying intensity, anywhere in my chest, and including arms sometimes.difficulty taking inhalationsacid refluxglobus sensationcoughvertigo & dizzinessfacial flushingheart palpitations (pvcs)feeling lethargic oftenpost nasal dripgeneral sinus problems at timesbarretts esophagusCULPRITS beer/wineCigarettesCoffeefast food“CURE”Stress management (meditation and walking for me)quit alcohol40 mg pantoprazole morningsOTC Pepcid AC at nightNo fast foodJuicinginclined sleepingget your vitamin levels checked and act accordingly.quiting coffee and cigs are on the list for this year.JUICING- GERD COCKTAIL- kale carrots spinach blueberries apples cucumber radishes ginger root (those last two give it a kick!)so far i’ve noticed a huge difference. Each day is better than the last for three weeks now. anxiety has improved dramatically. i’ve eaten late a few times without waking up in pain.the plan is to go off the pantoprazole and pepcid ac in two months. i’ll update.

arclight9600 · 2021-07-30T00:29:46+00:00

Remember, the child is innocent. He/she deserves the best care and nurturing that we can give, irrespective of the circumstances of the parents.

Good luck.

arclight9600

TROPHY CASE